Courage
by aslongastherearestarsaboveyou
Summary: AU where Kurt and Blaine's first kiss doesn't quite happen and it leads to them living different lives, both wanting each other but having life get in the way all too often. A story about courage, and the lack of it.
1. Prologue

It would have been easy for their lives to be different. For the two young lovers to fall together, finding sweet, intimate moments that allowed them to gradually fall in love. Sharing everything that high school sweethearts should. First kisses, first times, first arguments. Things don't always work out how they should though, sometimes life gets in the way and that's a pretty big thing to ignore.

Kurt took a deep breath as he stood in front of the large, marble building thinking of how things could have been, how, really, they _should_ have been. He wanted to move his feet and grasp at the life he desired but he couldn't, they were planted to the ground and all he could do was stare up at the ominous building, the building that for so many others held so much hope, dreaming and love but for him signalled the end of his possibilities.

A tear rolled down his cheek as he slowly shuffled towards the door and spotted the sign that was to drive him on.

**_Welcome to the wedding of Mr Lucas P. Ashford and Mr Blaine Anderson_**.

Just seeing it there caused him to choke slightly. It was wrong. It was all wrong. It should have been his name on that sign and not Lucas'. Filled with a newfound determination, Kurt wiped away his tears, hardened his face and strode, determined, into the courthouse, ready to take his life back. To finally finish the inner fight that he knew they both were feeling.


	2. 10th March 2011

10th March 2011

Kurt huddled over the small box, concentrating on his tube of glue and the tiny sequins, some of which were sticking more to him than the box he was trying to decorate. He tended to prefer things to be in an organised mess and had spread all of his beads and sequins out across the table, in hopes that they would be easier to access. The theory of this was much truer than the practice, however. Thankfully he had a lot of experience in this sort of thing and wasn't letting it fluster him.

The door to the old room had already been left open and so Kurt, concentrating heavily on his decorating, didn't realise the handsome young boy that had walked into the room and was watching him, warmly, until he spoke.

"What's that?" Blaine enquired as he watched Kurt fiddling with more sequins. Kurt glanced up for a second to see who was talking to him before answering.

"I'm decorating Pavarotti's casket," Kurt answered, a hint of sadness in his voice as he remembered the poor bird's death.

"Well, finish up," Blaine said smiling, walking a little closer to Kurt. "I have the perfect song for our number and we should practice."

"Do tell," Kurt smiled, assuming it would be another Katy Perry or Pink song that Blaine desperately wanted to sing. Blaine paused before speaking.

"Candles by Hey Monday." Kurt raised his eyebrows, surprised at Blaine's choice, as he placed his tube of glue back on the table.

"I'm impressed." He smiled, "You're usually so top 40."

"Well," Blaine smiled, almost apologetically, as he sat down beside Kurt, "I just… wanted something a bit more emotional." Kurt considered this for a second before asking the question he'd been dying to ask since Blaine had suggested they duet at their upcoming Regionals performance in the last meeting with the Warblers.

"Why did you pick me to sing that song with?" He said directly. For a brief while, Blaine's head almost exploded with how quickly Kurt came out with it and how he'd also now need to answer him. This was the moment, he told himself, the moment when he would tell Kurt everything. He took a deep breath, moving in his seat slightly before answering.

"Kurt… there is a moment when you say to yourself, 'Oh! There you are! I've been looking for you forever'…" Blaine glanced into Kurt's eyes for a second, feeling his mouth go slightly dry with nerves. He was hoping this would be easier but, then, when are the best things in life ever easy? Each second seemed to be lasting an eternity and, as nervous as he was, Kurt looked almost terrified. Did he already know what Blaine was going to say? Maybe Blaine had completely misjudged the situation and Kurt wasn't interested anymore? All Blaine wanted to do was to wrap Kurt up in his arms and keep him safe forever. He shifted in his seat again before reaching out and placing his hand over Kurt's so that he could just get out what he wanted to say quickly before he changed his mind.

"Watching you do "Blackbird" this week… that was…"

"Blaine!" Blaine turned and quickly, almost guiltily, removed his hand from Kurt's as Wes rushed into the room, his eyes wide and panicked. "Thank God I've found you! Hi Kurt." Wes nodded towards Kurt, who smiled back.

"Wes? What are you doing here?" Blaine's tone showed that he was more than annoyed at his friend for interrupting the moment; he might not feel brave enough to do this again.

"Some of the Warblers are arguing over your best solo again!" He said exasperated, waving his arms around. "I've tried splitting them up but they're really going at it, can you come and tell them to stop, please?"

"Can it wait?" Blaine asked, hoping that Wes had suddenly gained the ability to read his mind and would understand that now was _not_ the time. "I'm trying to have a conversation with Kurt…"

"Not really, I'm worried they might actually hurt each other this time!" Blaine sighed and dropped his head, knowing that Wes just wouldn't leave them alone until he went and helped him sort out the situation. He turned back to Kurt, apologetically.

"Can we talk later, maybe?" He asked, raising his eyebrows. Kurt nodded and told him that was fine before picking up the glue and going back to working on Pavarotti's casket. Blaine watched him for a few more seconds before leaving quietly, hoping that he'd still have the courage to talk to him later.

Once Kurt had finished the casket, he packed up his beads and sequins, picked up the casket and grabbed the handle of the plastic box also. He carried it all carefully up to his dorm room so that he could place Pavarotti in the decorated box. He backed into the door to try and open it with his elbow, as his hands were full but didn't go anywhere as he couldn't get the door open. Thankfully, Blaine was just passing to go to his dorm room and offered to help, opening the door for Kurt before gesturing him in. Kurt thanked him and hurried into the room, placing down the casket before it could get damaged.

"How did it go with the fight?" Kurt asked, turning around, amused because he knew that Wes over-reacted to any kind of conflict and that it probably wasn't that bad.

"It was nothing really. They were a little bit louder than normal." Blaine smirked and rolled his eyes. He placed his hands in his pockets and looked to the ground as the room went silent, shuffling his feet slightly as he suddenly felt very nervous again.

"So," Kurt cleared his throat, "what was it you were going to say earlier?"

"Hmm?" Blaine looked up, pretending that he didn't have a clue what Kurt was talking about.

"I asked you why you chose me to sing that song with you and you started saying something about me singing Blackbird but then… Wes." Kurt smiled; he'd purposefully chosen to leave out the part where Blaine had put his hand over Kurt's. Even though Kurt could still feel the tingling warmth of his touch, he'd already made the mistake of telling Blaine he liked him before only to be knocked back, he wasn't about to do it again. Except, he didn't realise that the fact that he purposefully missed out that small detail sent Blaine's mind into a spin. Was that because he didn't want to draw attention to it? Was he hoping that Blaine wouldn't mention it again because he wasn't interested? Was he annoyed at Blaine for doing it and chose to ignore it to maintain their friendship?

"Oh, that!" Blaine said, trying to sound relaxed but speaking with a slightly higher tone than normal, "It was just… I thought… that…" He gave up, "… you sounded so good on Blackbird that your voice would suit this song perfectly." He smiled, trying to hide how ashamed of himself he was for not saying what he really thought.

"That's the only reason?" Kurt asked, slightly disappointed.

"Yup," Blaine smiled a little too brightly, "I think it could help us win…" He cleared his throat before smiling widely once more. "Could you excuse me for a moment?" He asked before quickly rushing out of the room, unable to hide his emotions. He decided to not go back and see Kurt again that evening, instead choosing to spend the night in his room, alone, trying to let go of the niggling feeling he had in the pit of his stomach that he shouldn't have been such a coward.


	3. 15th April 2011

15th April 2011

"I mean, I know it's something you really want," Blaine looked sadly into his friend's eyes as they sat at the end of Kurt's bed, "but I'm not going to deny I'm going to miss you around here. Plus, what about Karofsky, are you sure he's going to leave you alone?"

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure," Kurt nodded, remembering his chat with his previous bully. "Going back to McKinley just feels like the natural thing for me to do. I'll miss being here too, though." He said before leaning over to Blaine to hug him. Blaine bit his lip to keep from getting upset, which was especially hard now that he was filled with Kurt's sweet smell.

He hadn't spoken to Kurt about his feelings at all since that afternoon where he almost got the courage to tell him, especially when he realised how much Kurt was missing being at McKinley. He didn't want to stand in the way of Kurt being happy and, there was the chance that telling Kurt how he felt might do that. He knew he just had to be a good friend and support Kurt as much as he could. He considered that, that probably involved moving on and trying to shake off the feelings he had for him.

"So, when are you going?" He asked Kurt, pulling away from the hug.

"My transfer goes through noon on Monday."

"Wow. That's only a few days away."

"I know, I've still got loads to do. I'm going to have to spend the weekend moving out of my room, I think." Kurt said, sadly, looking around the dorm room that had become his home for the past few months. "Man, I'm gonna miss this place." Blaine bit his lip once more, worried that if he didn't, he might ask Kurt to not leave Dalton and that would be the wrong thing to do. Instead he said,

"I can help you move, if you like?" He was far too polite for his own good. "Maybe we could see a movie or something afterwards? Especially as I won't be seeing you as often once you go back to McKinley."

"You'll still see me!" Kurt rolled his eyes, "You know there's this special, magical time of the day that exists called _the evening_?" He nudged Blaine gently, "And, if you're lucky, I might even throw a weekend or two in there!" Blaine laughed softly.

"It won't be the same though," Blaine's smiled faltered as he looked down, brushing away a non-existent piece of lint from his pant leg.

"No…" Kurt reached for Blaine's hand, "but you're my best friend, Blaine. I'm not going to let the fact that I'm going to a different school get in the way of that."

"You promise?"

"I promise."

"Even when you're a big star in New York?" Blaine asked. Kurt chuckled slightly, squeezing his hand tighter.

"Even when I'm the biggest star in New York and we're both married with a million kids each. I will make sure to let my, obviously, adoring, handsome husband watch our children so that we can hang out and watch John Hughes movies all day together, ok?" Kurt raised his eyebrows, thinking that his comment would make Blaine feel better. He didn't realise that the mention of Kurt with a husband, a husband who wasn't Blaine, made Blaine feel sick inside.

"Ok." Blaine faked a smile and tried to look relieved, still feeling slightly sick. He _had_ to find a way to move on now, he didn't have a choice.

The next evening they found themselves on the floor of Kurt's dorm room having abandoned the packing and giggling over some photos that Kurt had found in his bedside table of them both.

The packing hadn't been going very well as they'd kept being distracted. It also hadn't helped that every time Kurt placed something in a box, Blaine had been removing it again in a silent protest. Kurt had laughed when he caught him and given him a playful slap on the arm and decided to start on a different area of the room so that he could keep his eye on Blaine. That was when he'd moved to the other side of the bed to unpack the bedside cabinet and found the photos.

Kurt didn't often take photos, believing that it stood in the way of really experiencing things but, these were special moments that deserved recording. There was one of him and the Warbler's performing at the Valentine's Party that he'd thrown at Breadstix that year, a slightly blurry shot of when Blaine and Kurt had tried to take a photo of themselves at a Christmas market they'd gone to together but failed because of how crowded it was. There was another of their performance at Regionals, which was bittersweet. The first time Kurt had a solo at a competition but also, the fact that they had lost had made it a sad memory as well as a good one.

"Oh my god, it took me so long to get the soap stains out of my blazer! Why did we think that was a good idea?" Kurt laughed gently as he discovered a photo of them just after they'd performed "Animal". They were both grinning widely, covered in foam with their arms around each other's shoulders.

"It was an excellent idea!" Blaine smiled, resting his head on Kurt's shoulder and taking the photo from him, looking at it fondly. "I'll have you know, I got a lot of phone numbers that day!"

"It doesn't count if they're from girls, Blaine." Kurt smiled. They paused for a second, both remembering how much fun they'd had that day before Blaine suddenly burst out laughing. "What?" Kurt asked, amused.

"Nothing… I was just remembering the "sexy" faces that you were pulling," he said, still giggling. "You really did look like you were having gas pains!"

"Blaine!" Kurt cried, pretending to be offended and elbowing him slightly. He took once last glance at the photo before putting them all in an envelope to pack away.

"Ugh, can we be done with packing things away now, please?" Blaine said, leaning his head back against Kurt's bed.

"Well, we would be if you hadn't of kept unpacking everything!" Kurt smiled.

"It's only because I'm going to miss you so much," Blaine pouted.

"I know." Kurt smiled gently, not looking at Blaine so that he didn't upset himself. "I guess I've got all day tomorrow to finish packing, maybe we can take a break for a while." He got to his feet as Blaine cheered and jumped up beside him. They agreed to meet in Blaine's room in ten minutes for movie night before Blaine quickly hugged Kurt and left him alone to get changed.

Blaine practically skipped back to his room to wait for Kurt, who promptly knocked quietly at his door ten minutes later. Blaine smiled letting him in and Kurt quickly jumped onto his bed, laying on his stomach and kicking his legs in the air.

"So, Mr Anderson, as it's your choice to pick the film, I hope you've stopped your streak of awful horror film choices and gone for something a bit happier. Maybe with a few "unplanned" musical numbers?" Kurt looked at him expectantly. Blaine smiled and pulled a face as he held up The Blair Witch Project. Kurt's head immediately fell into Blaine's duvet in despair.

"Really?" His muffled voice cried before he looked back up at Blaine, pleadingly.

"Come on, Kurt. I know you haven't seen it and it's a classic!" Blaine raised his eyebrows, hoping Kurt would give in.

"Well, it is your turn to choose, I just have to put up with it," Kurt sighed, shrugging and moved to sit against Blaine's headboard, preparing himself. Blaine grinned and placed the DVD into the player before joining Kurt on the bed. It wasn't long until Kurt started to press into his side, already finding the movie a bit too scary and Blaine placed his arm gently around Kurt's shoulders, rubbing his hand up and down his back to comfort him.

He couldn't deny that this was exactly the reason he'd been making Kurt watch scary films recently. Every time they did, Kurt would curl closer and closer into Blaine as he got more worked up over whichever film Blaine had picked. When Blaine realised that he was then able to spend two hours (four if he could convince Kurt to watch two movies) hugging Kurt tightly to his chest, he'd made it his mission to find the scariest films for them to watch every time it was his turn to pick. He did feel slightly bad about forcing Kurt to watch the films because of his ulterior motives but, as his arms squeezed around Kurt's shoulders, those thoughts drifted swiftly to the back of his mind.

"Why do you make me watch these awful films, Blaine?" Kurt whined slightly, about an hour and a half later, as he pressed further into Blaine's torso, so much so that he was practically sitting on his lap.

"Kurt, if you can't make it through one of these films, how are you gonna survive in New York?" he chuckled, squeezing Kurt's shoulder.

"I'll deal with that when it comes to it… Oh my god, no, don't go into the house!" Kurt yelled as he sneaked a peek at the TV and started reaching towards it before turning back into Blaine's shoulder. Blaine chuckled again, hugging him tightly and gently breathing in to take in as much of Kurt's smell as possible, as the last few minutes of the movie played out. Once it was over Kurt quickly jumped to his feet and removed the DVD from the player before immediately finding The Sound of Music and putting it on.

"Hang on a minute, it's my turn to pick movies," Blaine protested; he'd already planned another scary film to watch so he could hug Kurt some more.

"Oh God, please no!" Kurt pouted, "It's my last Saturday here; please let's not watch anymore horror films." Blaine sighed gently, there was no way he could force it on him so agreed to watch Kurt's choice before settling back into his bed.

Kurt quickly crawled across the bed to join Blaine and pressed play on the DVD. As the movie started, he grabbed Blaine's arm and pulled it over the top of his head, forcing Blaine to hug him.

"What're you doing?" Blaine asked, confused; they normally just sat beside each other as they watched films, almost too scared to touch. It was precisely that reason that had pushed Blaine into getting Kurt to watch scary films with him.

"C'mon Blaine, if we can't hug watching a movie a few days before I'm leaving Dalton, when can we?" Kurt asked, cuddling into Blaine's shoulder and yawning gently. "You're ok with that, right?"

"Yeah… yeah of course." Blaine smiled and pulled Kurt a little bit closer into his chest.

They'd only been watching the film for a few minutes when Blaine heard Kurt's breathing become slightly heavier and even. He dipped his head slightly and glanced at Kurt's face to see that he'd fallen asleep. He let out a breath that he hadn't realised he'd been holding almost all evening, his shoulders slumping, finally able to relax. He watched Kurt's sleeping face for longer than he maybe should've before considering whether or not he'd be able to get away with placing a small kiss on Kurt's soft lips. After weighing up the options, he decided to not risk it and instead settled for pressing his lips gently against Kurt's forehead.

As he started to yawn himself, he picked his phone up from his bedside table and quickly typed out a text message to Wes, asking to meet him the next morning, before settling further down into the bed, resting his head gently on Kurt's and swiftly falling asleep, still hugging him.

The next morning, once Kurt had woken up and gone back to his room to continue packing, Blaine went to knock on Wes' door. It took a few minutes for him to answer and, when he did, he looked like he'd only just woken up as his hair was sticking everywhere, his t-shirt was crumpled and he was grumpily rubbing his eyes as he answered the door, only to see who had disturbed him.

"Hey Blaine, 'sup?" He said as he walked back into his room and flopped onto his bed again.

"Did you not get my text?" Blaine asked, frowning as he looked around the room. For someone that was so organised, Wes was extremely messy and there were old clothes, papers and other general bits of rubbish strewn across the room.

"What text?" Wes mumbled into his pillow, answering Blaine's question.

"Never mind," Blaine sighed as he sat down on Wes' desk chair, "I wanted to ask you for a favour, if possible?"

"What's that?" Wes asked, rolling over and sitting up so he was facing Blaine.

"Well, you know, Kurt goes back to McKinley tomorrow? I was wondering if the Warbler's would maybe help me with a plan that I've got?"

Wes raised his eyebrows as Blaine explained exactly what he wanted to get the Warbler's to do and rolled his eyes as Blaine finished speaking.

"Oh my Lord," Wes said, his tone dripping with frustration, "when on earth are you going to sort yourself out and tell that boy you're into him, Blaine? I mean, this is really getting old now…"

"Wes, I've only liked him like that for a few weeks…"

"Please, Blaine, you've liked him far longer than that. It's just that it was only a few weeks ago that you admitted it to yourself!" Wes interrupted.

"Look, Wes, I need to be Kurt's friend right now, that's it so I'd really appreciate it if you'd just drop it," Blaine said sharply, starting to feel anger building up at his friend's indignation. He took a deep breath to calm himself before continuing, "are you going to help me or not?"

"Of course, dude, of course." Wes shook his head, knowing he wouldn't be able to change Blaine's mind. Blaine thanked him quickly before leaving to talk to the rest of the Warbler's and make preparations for the next day.

The next afternoon, Mercedes gathered her Glee Club friends in the McKinley High courtyard, excited because of what she knew that they didn't.

"What the hell's going on?" Puck uttered being tugged along.

"Well, my fellow Glee Clubber's," she said loudly, grinning and ignoring Puck's slight cuss, "it's noon which means… it's official!"

"What's official?" Sam asked. That was Kurt's cue to jump out from where he'd been hiding.

"My transfer! Kurt Hummel is back in McKinley!" He cried, waving the hat from his carefully chosen outfit around. Kurt loved dramatic entrances more than anything in the world so when he told one of his closest friends, Mercedes, about his transfer, she'd suggested that they make his comeback a bit more theatrical than just him slinking back into his usual seat at lunch and he'd agreed. He headed down the steps of the courtyard to cheers from his friends as they rushed around to hug him. "Let me breathe, let me breathe," he laughed as he was practically suffocated before announcing, "let's get ready for Nationals!"

"Not yet," Mercedes grabbed his arm and smiled, with the same twinkle in her eye that she always got when she knew a secret. "See, there's a reason we're meeting here today," she said with a very matter-of-fact tone, "There's some people who wanted to say good-bye to you, Kurt." She smiled and glanced behind him, causing Kurt to spin around only to see The Warblers, led by Blaine, walking down the steps of the McKinley courtyard.

"Kurt, Dalton's gonna miss you." Blaine started. "You were a great addition to The Warblers, and you made us a better team. We're sad to see you go, but we all know this is something you really want." He said, nodding earnestly. "Before you do go, though, we wanted to say good-bye properly." He took a deep breath before starting to sing, "_I walked across, an empty land…"_

Kurt took a deep breath as he watched Blaine move down the steps towards him as he sung, the other Warblers backing his stunning voice up so perfectly. _Don't cry_ he thought to himself, _now is not a moment to ruin by crying_. Part of him couldn't get over the fact that his best friend, and crush, was singing to him and another part of him was just so touched by the gesture of, not only a song, but the most perfect song for that moment, he was forgetting to breathe. He turned, watching Blaine rush down the steps past him, to the piano that they kept in the courtyard for when it was a nice enough day to rehearse outside. _How is he this perfect,_ Kurt thought to himself, noticing how his inner voice was whining slightly. All he wanted to do was run up to Blaine and kiss him all over but, he had to keep reminding himself that, despite all of the flirting and sexy looks, he was certain that Blaine wasn't interested.

Blaine stepped back up towards him as the song ended and let Kurt throw his arms around him, a tear falling down his cheek that he just couldn't hold back.

"Thank you," he whispered gently into Blaine's ear. Blaine squeezed him tightly and, started stepping away, not realising for a second that Kurt had grabbed his hand. He backed away further, their hands clasped together and outstretched to each other. He smiled sadly to Kurt, whose lip was now trembling furiously. He didn't want to leave but knew that he had to because the Warblers had all started drifting away also. He gave Kurt's hand a small squeeze and dropped it, walking away. Once he got to the top of the steps, he turned for one last look, happy to see all of Kurt's friends from Glee Club swarming around him, comforting him and telling him not to cry. Regardless of if he ever did anything about his feelings, Blaine knew he'd much rather have Kurt in his life as a friend than not at all and he hoped desperately, as his head dropped onto his chest and he turned the corner, that his transfer wouldn't mean that things would change between them.


	4. 4th October 2011

4th October 2011

Blaine fidgeted in his seat as he watched, waiting for the door of their favourite coffee shop, the Lima Bean, to open.

"Stop that," Kurt chuckled, "it's going to be fine!" Blaine bit his lip, staring at Kurt for a few seconds and didn't answer, moving his gaze back to the door nervously. Kurt watched him for a few more moments, finishing his latte before deciding to lean over and stroking the back of his hand lightly. "Hey," he said gently, finally getting at least some of Blaine's attention, "don't worry, I'm sure I'm going to love him." He smiled as Blaine looked back at him earnestly.

"I want you to. I really like him."

"Then I'm sure he's the most amazing guy ever." Kurt smiled fondly. He had to admit he wasn't exactly jumping for joy at meeting Blaine's new boyfriend but, ever since the Valentine's Day in that very coffee shop when he'd got confused and thought Blaine had wanted to declare his love for him, he'd accepted that this was something that would happen eventually. If anything, he felt he should be glad of the fact that he'd had so long to build himself up for it. He didn't want to let it show, desperately wanting to be the supportive best friend that Blaine always was for him but, he was just as nervous as Blaine was. He wasn't exactly sure what he would do if he didn't like this guy but, if Blaine liked him, he couldn't be _that_ bad, right?

He continued to watch Blaine for the next few minutes, still fidgeting with nerves and watching the door, not truly involved in the conversation that Kurt was trying to have with him. Eventually, his face lit up like Kurt had rarely seen before. A small, almost unnoticeable, pang of jealousy shot straight to his heart when he realised that Blaine used to look at him like that but hadn't been recently. In fact, recently, Blaine seemed to be doing everything he could to not look at Kurt all together, although Kurt convinced himself that he was just imagining things.

"He's here," he whispered to Kurt, grinning and getting to his feet. Kurt watched as Blaine stepped over to greet the tall boy that was headed towards them. Kurt couldn't deny that he was good looking but, and he convinced himself it wasn't due to jealousy, he already couldn't see himself liking this guy. There was just something about his slimy, smirking face that made him question Blaine's judgement. This was only made worse by the fact that, as this guy walked over to the table they had been sitting at, he promptly grabbed Blaine by the waist and pulled him in for a long deep kiss. Kurt watched as the guy obviously pushed his tongue into Blaine's mouth. He was close to throwing his coffee at them in the hopes it would make them just _stop_, especially as the smirking guy's hands were now moving down Blaine's back and grabbing his ass gently. Thankfully, Blaine seemed to have the sense to break the embrace.

"We're in public…" he blushed but Kurt noticed him also smiling slightly, clearly not too unhappy about it.

"And? I just felt like I needed to say hi to your ass too, it is fantastic…" the guy said smarmily, giving it another squeeze. Blaine giggled like a school girl, causing Kurt to visibly gag sarcastically, catching the couple's attention. "You must be Kurt," the guy smiled over to him. Blaine finally turned around, as if only just remembering his best friend was there.

"Oh yeah, uhm, Kurt this is Sebastian," Blaine smiled at the guy, placing his arm gently on his chest, "Sebastian, Kurt." Kurt could do nothing but smile at Sebastian in a way that he was certain was not as nice as maybe he should be. The two boys sat down facing Kurt as he looked between them. They sat in awkward silence for a few moments, not knowing how to progress the conversation.

"I've heard so much about you, Kurt." Sebastian spoke first.

"Well, that makes sense, I am Blaine's best friend." Kurt spoke sharply. He could see Blaine turn to look at him wide-eyed out of the corner of his eye. He was certain he was asking himself why Kurt was acting like such an asshole already. Kurt was asking himself the exact same question but refused to turn to look at Blaine, knowing that if he did, his jealously would undoubtedly instantly show.

"Indeed." Sebastian's smile didn't falter, "So, Kurt, I hear you're in the Glee Club at your school? We have something in common, I've just joined The Warblers."

"We do have something in common! I remember from when I was a member of the Warblers that they're all such great people." Kurt smiled a little too widely, happy to use the opportunity to rub his friendship with Blaine in Sebastian's face a bit, "Wouldn't you agree, Blaine? We had so much fun together, didn't we? Of course, it hasn't been the same since Pavarotti died. Oh, you wouldn't know who he was, Sebastian, but, suffice to say we were all incredibly saddened by that. Thankfully, I had Blaine there when it happened." Kurt reached out and grabbed Blaine's hand gently, not looking away from Sebastian. "He was so supportive and really helped me through it but then, I guess that's what you do for your _best friend_." Kurt stared wickedly at Sebastian, almost shocking himself at his sudden need to make him jealous.

"You were in the Warblers?" Sebastian raised his eyebrows at the new information before turning to Blaine. "You didn't tell me that…"

"Really? I thought I had," Blaine said bashfully. "Kurt was at our school for about 6 months, that's how we met."

"Funny, I thought, as boyfriends, you would tell each other everything…" Kurt raised his eyebrows and looked away for a moment, relishing having the opportunity to point out a kink in their new relationship. They sat in silence for a few uncomfortable moments, none of them knowing what to say, before Blaine took a deep breath to speak.

"Well, this is nice and awkward," Blaine said as he raised his eyebrows, "why don't I go and get us some coffee while you two keep getting better acquainted?" He quickly jumped to his feet before either of them could protest and rushed to the counter. Sebastian pointedly turned and watched him walk away before turning back to face Kurt.

"I'm onto you." He said, smiling slyly at Kurt.

"What?" Kurt tipped his head in confusion.

"I get it, you're into Blaine and you want to try and scare me away with all this cute 'best friend' talk but it isn't going to work."

"I honestly don't know what you're talking about." Kurt smiled sweetly. He knew exactly what Sebastian was talking about.

"Oh I think you do and, to be honest, although this whole doe-eyed act of yours is just _adorable_," he spoke patronisingly, "the sooner you realise that I'm the one that gets to fuck him and not you, the better." Kurt flinched slightly at the way Sebastian had just spoken about Blaine, as if he was a piece of meat. He couldn't deny he didn't understand the appeal of the thought of Blaine with very few clothes on but he was so much more than that and Kurt's feelings for Blaine hadn't had anything to do with sex. Kurt wasn't as certain that Sebastian felt the same way.

"Blaine isn't like that," Kurt said quietly. He cleared his throat before continuing slightly stronger, "Anyway, you don't know anything about our relationship, you could be getting in the way for all you know." Sebastian snorted at Kurt's hopefulness.

"Listen, Snow White and the seven chest hairs, if Blaine was at all interested in you, don't you think he would've done something by now?" Kurt didn't answer, instead becoming supremely interested in the empty coffee cup he was holding. He was right. _Shit, he was right_. "That's what I thought," Sebastian smirked, "so I recommend that you start at least pretending to love me because, I'm pretty sure I'll be around a lot from now on and I'd hate to see your _relationship_ with Blaine fall apart because you couldn't be supportive of his first real boyfriend." Kurt didn't have a chance to answer him before Blaine came striding back to their table, trying to balance three paper cups in his hands. Kurt stared into his lap, not being able to forget the way that Sebastian had emphasised the word relationship so sarcastically, and mockingly. Damn, he hated this guy and hated the fact that he was right even more.

"How's it going, guys? I'm sure you've found a ton of things you have in common by now, right?" Blaine asked, grinning hopefully.

"Uhm… yeah, loads," Kurt looked up and faked a smile as he picked up his coffee, only drinking from it so he could be distracted for a few seconds.

Sebastian didn't stay for much longer after Blaine had returned and, for that time, Kurt tried his hardest to make conversation with him. He did his best to be polite and courteous, for Blaine's sake, seeing as Sebastian had been right, if he was going to be sticking around, Kurt was most definitely going to have to learn to like him.

As he was leaving, Sebastian had pulled Blaine into him for another long, and what looked like messy, kiss. Kurt watched them, trying hard not to make a sarcastic comment. He thought for a moment that he saw Sebastian open his eyes and glance at him, almost as if he was checking to see if Kurt was watching them, but put it down to his imagination and didn't think any more of it.

Sebastian finally released Blaine, who fell back down into the coffee shop armchair, grinning and practically swooning, and left. Blaine watched him walk away, making sure he was out of earshot before spinning around to Kurt.

"So, what do you think?" Kurt sighed deeply, he was going to have use all of his acting skills on this one.

"He… seems great…" He smiled weakly. Blaine looked at him questioningly for a few seconds before speaking.

"You hated him." He said.

"Not at all!" Kurt said, annoyed that Blaine had been able to see straight through him.

"Please, Kurt, you are not that good of an actor," Blaine giggled, picking up his coffee and taking a sip.

"Blaine Anderson, I am completely offended, I'll have you know I am an excellent actor!" Kurt placed is hand on his chest and over-acted his horror at Blaine's words before trying desperately to use the opportunity to change the subject. "As it happens, I've just been asked to play Tony in West Side Story at school."

"Wow," Blaine raised his eyebrows, impressed, "congrats Kurt, that's an amazing role."

"Exactly, so there'll be no more questioning my acting ability thankyouverymuch." Kurt said prissily causing Blaine to giggle some more.

"Ok fine, you're an amazing actor."

"Thank you."

"You still hate him, though."

"Can't stand him." Kurt smiled slightly, letting his cover fall. "I'm sorry, Blaine, I really tried…"

"No you didn't!"

"No I didn't but I wanted to try! I really did… I just… I just hate his stupid smirking face!" Kurt smiled apologetically and shrugged his shoulders. Blaine nodded, looking into his coffee, as if he understood. It made Kurt wonder if he saw it too, or if he'd had anyone else commented on it. "I'll put up with him though." Kurt offered.

"Really?" Blaine looked up at him.

"For you." Kurt half-smiled. Blaine grabbed his hand and thanked him, squeezing it slightly. As he did, Kurt was reminded of Sebastian's words. He was fairly certain Blaine would've done something about it by now if he was interested in him. That was the moment that Kurt decided he had to try and get over Blaine Anderson. _At least I'll be in New York in less than a year_, he thought to himself, certain that the distance would definitely help him get over Blaine. And even more certain that, that was what he now had to do.


	5. 29th July 2012

29th July 2012

Blaine bounced along the sidewalk as they started to approach Rachel's house, singing at the top of his voice and moving his hips to dance along to the tune he was singing in such a sexy way that Kurt couldn't stop staring at his ass. Kurt rolled his eyes at Blaine's excitement as he spun around. It wasn't even his graduation party and yet he still seemed to be just as excited as any of Kurt's senior class mates were.

"Come on Kurt, hurry _up_!" Blaine pleaded as he skipped in front of Kurt, tugging his arm slightly. Kurt laughed as he felt his whole body jerk forwards from Blaine's weight. "I am so ready to get my drink _on_." Blaine flung his arms in front of himself as he spoke causing Kurt to sigh and giggle at the same time.

"Blaine, how many times do I have to tell you, you are not in any way _gangster_? Stop trying to act like you are!"

"Aw, come on Kurt," Blaine pouted, flinging an arm around Kurt's shoulders, "the fact that I got Finn to give us a lift home tomorrow so we can both drink, surely that's at least a little bit gangster?" Kurt had to agree with him. He almost wanted to point out the fact that, making sure Sebastian didn't come to the party had made Kurt ecstatic too but, felt it best not to. Any mention of Sebastian, given that Blaine knew exactly how Kurt felt about him, always caused a bit of a tense atmosphere between them now so Kurt held his tongue. Although he had celebrated inside when he found out that Blaine had asked Sebastian not to come along to the graduation party. He was leaving for New York with Rachel in a few days so this would be his last chance to have time with Blaine away from Sebastian and really relax. He wasn't about to ruin it by causing an argument so stayed quiet.

"I'm not really sure how much I'll be drinking tonight though, Blaine, I still have a lot of packing to do tomorrow so I don't want to be too ill…"

"Kurt, I don't believe you for a second," Blaine teased. Sure enough, just a few hours later, Kurt came stumbling drunkenly through Rachel's living room to find Blaine, who was dancing on his own on the landing at the top of the stairs next to the living room.

"BLAINE!" Kurt yelled, delighted at finding him. He clambered up the stairs towards him, mis-stepping a couple of times but bouncing once he'd reached the top. He flung his arms around Blaine's neck, who was clearly less intoxicated than Kurt was, and squeezed him tightly. "Blaine, you're my beeest frieeend." He drawled in Blaine's ear, hanging from his neck as he did. Blaine chuckled, enjoying the feeling of Kurt's hot breath drifting across his ear as he spoke. He wrapped his arms around Kurt's thighs, lifted him up and spun him round until he squealed for Blaine to stop. Kurt swayed for a few moments, and gripped Blaine's tie, which had started to ease its way out from his sweater-vest from the dancing, in order to steady himself before looking Blaine deep in his eyes. Blaine tried desperately to hold back a deep groan that was threatening to spill out from his mouth from the sudden move that Kurt would almost certainly not realise was completely sexy in every way. Kurt moved his hands once he felt he wasn't going to fall over and cupped Blaine's face tightly. "Oh Blainey-boy," he pouted, leaning in closer to Blaine, "I'm gonna miss you so much."

"I'm gonna miss you too, Kurt." Blaine said seriously, allowing Kurt to hold onto his face.

"I's jus' sad, jus' really, really sad." Kurt slurred, nonsensically. He flopped down onto the top step and rested his chin on his hands.

"What's up?" Blaine asked , sitting down next to Kurt, who swiftly rested his head on his shoulder.

"I'm really scared Blaine, I'm gonna be so 'lone in New York without you." Kurt said, suddenly becoming really emotional.

"It won't be that bad…" Blaine rubbed Kurt's back gently, trying to calm him down.

"It will and I haven't done all the things I wanted to do before I go to college, I haven't even had my first real kiss yet…" Kurt sniffed gently, curling into Blaine's side slightly. "They're gonna eat me up in N… New York…" he sniffed again. Blaine huffed gently and quickly stood up, grabbing Kurt's hand.

"Right, that's it, up!" He pulled Kurt to his feet beside him and wiped a thumb across his cheeks. "No more tears." Kurt nodded gently and Blaine continued talking, not realising that the alcohol in his system was making him braver than he would usually be, especially around Kurt. "Would… would you like _me_ to kiss you? Just so you can say you've done it before college?" Kurt paused and looked at Blaine for a few seconds, considering his offer.

"What about Sebastian?" He asked, unable to hide the slightly bitter tone in his voice.

"I don't think it'll be a problem," Blaine answered truthfully. And he didn't. It wasn't long after their meeting in the coffee shop that Sebastian had managed to work out how Blaine felt about Kurt. He'd also equally worked out that Blaine had only been staying with him to try and get over Kurt. Sebastian, however, had been entirely fine with them staying together to help Blaine out with his "little problem", as he had put it whenever he was referring to Kurt.

_"You never know, it might even make your "little problem" jealous and come to his senses." _Sebastian had offered, trying to convince Blaine to stay together, just for that reason alone. Blaine hadn't realised that Sebastian had been secretly hoping that Blaine would eventually come to his senses about him but, it hadn't happened yet so all Blaine knew was that Sebastian wouldn't have a problem with him kissing Kurt.

"Anyway, we're just friends, right? It's just a friendly favour, from one friend to another… friend." Blaine most certainly did not have his usual way with words with the amount of alcohol buzzing through his body at that time but, it seemed to be working in convincing Kurt as he was currently looking contemplative and, Blaine assumed, considering if it would be a good idea or not.

"Ok." Kurt nodded definitely, "let's do it." Blaine raised his eyebrows, surprised that Kurt had agreed and grinned, asking him to wait where he was for a moment. He rushed into a room near to them and looked for anything sturdy and box-like. Finding a small, plastic craft box in the room, he smiled, grabbed it, and rushed back to Kurt, placing it on the floor in front of him.

"I feel like I should be taller than you for this," he said seriously, trying to ignore Kurt's sniggers as he stepped onto the box. "Ok, come here." He placed his hands on Kurt's hips and pulled him towards him gently. "You're sure?" He questioned, searching Kurt's gorgeous blue eyes for any sign of doubt. Kurt simply nodded and looked up at him pleadingly. "Ok, close your eyes," he whispered, cupping Kurt's face, pulling him closer still and feeling a tingle travel down his spine as he pulled him close enough to feel Kurt's warm breath on his lips. "Lick your lips." Kurt's pink tongue flicked out to wet his lips and Blaine paused, his heart fluttering at the sight of Kurt completely open and waiting for him. He smiled as he gently bent down and pressed his lips to Kurt's.

It was everything he imagined it would be and nothing at the same time. He didn't care at that moment how drunk they both were, if they might regret this moment or even if it would be the making of them. All that mattered was him and Kurt, there, together. Kurt leant into him murmuring gently, deepening the kiss. Blaine's breath hitched as he felt Kurt's arms wrap around his waist and press their chests together. After not moving for a few seconds, Blaine eventually ran his tongue gently along the seam of Kurt's lips, his heart beating faster at the feeling of Kurt all around him. His touch, his taste, his _smell_. Kurt whimpered into Blaine's mouth gently who licked further into Kurt's mouth, moving his hands to wrap around his shoulders. The kiss started to become more passionate and Blaine couldn't help but suck and nibble lightly on Kurt's lower lip, earning him a slightly louder moan from Kurt whose hands slipped down Blaine's back and rested just at the base of his spine, dangerously close to his ass.

All too quickly, it felt too much for Blaine. Not only could he feel all of his previous feelings for Kurt, the feelings he'd been trying for over a year to ignore, to get rid of, come rushing back but there was something more. All of his fighting to just be there for Kurt as a friend and to get over him was breaking down all at once, leaving just once thing floating around in his mind. He gently pulled away, pressing his forehead to Kurt's for a second, letting the heat between them dissipate and clearing his head until that one, significant word stood out in his mind, his heart racing at the realisation. Love.

"Shit." Blaine whispered, suddenly feeling choked. He jumped down from the box and quickly ran down the stairs. He had to get away from Kurt, desperately needing fresh air and equally needing to shake off how he was feeling.

Kurt stood at the top of the stairs, his heart pounding, aghast at how Blaine had just left. He turned to watch him run down the stairs.

"Blaine? Are you ok? Did I do it wrong?" He called down the staircase to Blaine's back.

"Nope." Blaine called behind him but didn't stop moving. Sighing, Kurt stumbled backwards against the landing wall, trying to stop his heart from beating so fast. Even in his drunken state, he could tell how amazing that kiss was and had felt his heart leap into his throat the second that Blaine's lips had touched his own. It was perfect. Until Blaine had ran away that is. He sighed deeply again, not noticing Mercedes walking along the landing beside him.

"Kurt, what's wrong?" She asked, observing the confused look on his face.

"I…I think I may have upset Blaine…" Kurt said sadly.

"What did you do?"

"I don't know…" Kurt answered truthfully because, he didn't. It was Blaine's idea to kiss so he wasn't sure how he could have done anything wrong. "I have to go talk to him," Kurt said, moving quickly and nearly drunkenly tripping down the stairs. Thankfully, Mercedes managed to grab him in time and stopped him from falling over.

"Woah, no you don't," she said kindly, sitting him down on the top step and letting him immediately lean his head against the wall. "You wait here; I'll go sort your man out."

"He's not my man," Kurt called weakly down the stairs to Mercedes who simply responded with a disbelieving, "uh-huh." She spent a few minutes walking around the ground floor of the house before noticing that the front door was slightly ajar. She poked her head outside into the warm night air to see Blaine, crouched down and leaning against the outside wall, his head in his hands.

"Blaine?" She called quietly as she walked towards him. Blaine quickly looked up to see who was there before returning his head to hands.

"Hey Mercy."

"What's going on? Kurt thinks he's upset you…" Blaine looked up quickly, allowing Mercedes to just notice that his face was damp with tears.

"What? Oh God, no. No, he hasn't… I don't want him to… think… that. Please, just tell him he hasn't upset me, please?"

"Tell me what's going on then, maybe I can help?" Mercedes crouched down beside him. Blaine paused for a few moments before speaking.

"We… we kissed." He said sternly, chewing the inside of his lips.

"Wait, really?" Mercedes was delighted, "that's great, isn't it? It's about time you two got together…"

"No, Mercy, no it's not _great_." Blaine spoke bitterly.

"I'm confused."

"It… it was just supposed to be a kiss… as friends… nothing else…"

"And?"

"It… it just all went wrong… I thought… I thought I could hold back my feelings for him but then, they were more… more than they were before and I don't know what to do… I'm just his friend… I have to be just his friend…"

"Ok… Blaine… breathe for a start," Mercedes placed her hand on his arm gently, waiting until she was happy that he seemed to have calmed down before continuing. "Now, explain it again, you're not making a lot of sense." Blaine took a deep breathe, needing to centre himself slightly before confessing how he felt.

"I… I think I'm in love with Kurt." He said, before letting more tears roll down his cheeks at hearing himself admit it out loud. He was shocked to hear Mercedes giggle gently beside him.

"Oh, B, I know _that_," she laughed, "we all do!"

"You… you do?" Blaine looked at her confused, how could everyone else know when he'd only just worked it out for himself?

"Of course we do, it's so _obvious_." She paused before continuing, "it's also obvious that Kurt loves you too, y'know?"

"It doesn't matter," Blaine mumbled sulkily.

"It doesn't?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because I can't… I won't do anything about it. Kurt's going to New York in a few days. Even if he's interested in me too, it isn't fair of me to put that on him now. For him to be spending his time in New York not being able to do everything he wants because of his boyfriend back in Ohio. He deserves to be free during that time." Blaine could hear Mercedes visibly sigh and noticed her shuffling closer to him out of the corner of his eye. She flung an arm around his shoulders and squeezed him tightly.

"You're stupid, you know that right?" She spoke fondly. Blaine nodded, letting a few more tears drop down his cheeks.

"I've just got to get over it, forget him and move on. It's for the best."

"That's why you're with Sebastian." She said, suddenly understanding the attraction. Blaine nodded gently.

"You're really, really stupid." She smiled. It wasn't a secret that none of the members of the Glee club liked Sebastian. Partly because they knew he stood in the way of Blaine and Kurt getting together but, also because, in the time Blaine and Sebastian had been together, he'd managed to offend each member individually at some point. "Kurt's really upset though, he thinks he's done something wrong. You should at least go inside and let him know he hasn't, even if you're not going to tell him you're in love with him."

"Ok," Blaine said quietly, nodding and wiping his face with his sleeve. He turned and hugged Mercedes properly, "thanks Mercy."

"Don't thank me, I think you're an idiot," she laughed as he walked away and into the house. He took a deep breath as he spotted Kurt sitting at the top of the stairs, practically pouting.

"Hey," he said, walking slowly up the stairs and sitting next to Kurt. "I'm sorry about that, I was just feeling a bit dizzy and needed some air."

"I thought I'd done something wrong." Kurt mumbled.

"No!" Blaine pulled Kurt towards him in a hug, "You couldn't do anything wrong, I just wasn't feeling well." He pulled away to look Kurt in the eyes. "Plus, I'm afraid of heights," he joked, pointing a thumb over to the box he'd been standing on, causing Kurt to laugh gently.

"Are we still friends?" Kurt asked.

"Always," Blaine smiled gently. They had spent the rest of the evening clinging to each other, both refusing to say what so needed to be said, just enjoying the last few moments of childhood that they had left. They equally ignored the glances from their friends, similarly hoping one of them, either of them, would make a move but knowing that it wasn't their place to step in.

Although neither of them said it, they knew that, no matter how hard they tried, everything would change after this. Blaine had already decided he wanted to stay in Ohio to go to college the following year, as much as Kurt had tried to convince him that he would be much better suited to New York. However, Blaine was already adamant and it was partly to help him get over Kurt so, after this evening, they would rarely see each other at all, having to use technology to keep in touch and they both knew it. They knew that their friendship would change somehow and both were terrified as to how.

A few days later, Blaine had tried to hold back his tears as he helped Kurt pack the last of his belongings into his Dad's car to leave for the airport. Kurt couldn't do the same and pulled Blaine into him for a tight hug, letting his tears fall onto Blaine's shoulder gently.

"I'm going to miss you so much, Blaine Warbler." Kurt whispered into his ear.

"You too," Blaine squeezed him gently, before turning and hugging Rachel who'd been watching them. "Look after him, please?" He spoke gently into her ear. She pulled away and simply nodded in agreement before climbing into the back of Burt's car. Kurt hugged Blaine once more before getting into the car also and driving away.

Blaine sat down on the side of the pavement as he watched the car travel into the distance, still not wanting to let his tears fall but noticing the landscape grow suspiciously blurry as he watched the car leave. He'd only been sitting for a few minutes when his phone beeped with an incoming text from Kurt.

**Should I be this scared? How am I going to survive in NY? K x**

_It'll be fine :) B x_

**What if it's not?**

**What if no-one likes me?**

**What if I fail completely? K x**

_Courage!_


	6. 20th December 2015

20th December 2015

"Rachel Berry, I can_not_ believe you've done this again!" Kurt stormed through the house trying to find Rachel purely from her giggles.

"It's your own fault, you study too much!" She called from what sounded like the kitchen.

"Rachel, I'm not kidding, give me my books back!" Kurt ran through to the kitchen to find that she'd managed to escape him again.

"I will," she called again, now sounding like she was near the stairs, "tomorrow! Tonight, we're going out!"

"I have a really important test when we get back, I really, _really_ need those books, Rachel." Kurt raised his voice further, hoping to reason with her. "In fact, Miss Berry, you would know seeing as you have the _exact same test_ to study for!"

"Kurt, it's the holidays, we haven't been back to Ohio for months now after you managed to convince me to go on that awful holiday over Spring Break, at least let's enjoy being here a little bit!" Kurt finally caught up with her trying to run into his old room and grabbed her shoulders.

"Books, now!" He said seriously, staring at her.

"Books, tomorrow." She repeated. "Come on, you know you don't give yourself enough chance to relax. I will study with you tomorrow if you come out with me tonight, I promise." Kurt sighed, his shoulders slumping. He'd learnt from the other times that this had happened that she was normally right and he normally gave in.

"Fine," he said gritting his teeth, "but it won't be a late night." Rachel cheered, jumping up and down and clapping.

"Now, go change," she said, opening his door for him and guiding him into the room, "you need to wear something sexy tonight!"

"Do I?" Kurt tipped his head.

"Yes," she smiled and patted his ass gently before walking away. Kurt poked his head out of the door and along the hallway towards Rachel's back.

"Why, where are we going?" He asked suspiciously.

"It's a surpriiise!" She sang back to him before disappearing down the stairs. Kurt sighed and closed the door to his room to get changed. He really hoped this was going to be a good surprise but, seeing as they were in Ohio, he wasn't sure how good it possibly could have been.

Sure enough, about an hour later as they stood outside the Lima Bean, he was certain he couldn't really class this as a good surprise. It was a coffee shop in the evening which, after being New York for a few years, didn't seem like a big deal but, based on the crowd and his knowledge of Lima, he knew it must have seemed like the height of fashion there.

"They've started having acts in the evening at the Lima Bean?" He said, disbelievingly.

"Yup." Rachel smiled, proud of herself. "And look," she pointed to a sign that Kurt hadn't noticed.

"Oh no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no!" He said, spotting the familiar name and turning quickly to walk away. Rachel seemed to have expected this reaction and wrapped her arms around his waist, stopping him from walking any further. He cursed himself for not remembering how un-naturally strong she was. "Rachel," Kurt looked at her exasperated, "I am not going in there. We haven't seen each other in at least two and a half years and you're expecting me to just go and watch him perform?"

"Kurt," Rachel said softly, "Blaine used to be your best friend, why wouldn't you want to go in there and see him, maybe catch up a bit?"

"Because we haven't seen each other in two and a half years!" he repeated desperately. "We haven't spoken in about two years. I have no idea what we'd say to each other."

"It's not like you fell out or anything…" Rachel said gently. She was right, they hadn't but that didn't stop Kurt from feeling bad that they had just drifted apart the way they had.

It was so silly too. The first year Kurt had been at college, he'd been so in awe of all the lights and sounds of the big city that he'd taken far too long to reply to Blaine's messages, spending all of his evenings with new people, new sensations and new experiences that he didn't even think about anything else. He remembered how they'd kept agreeing to make plans to see each other, for Blaine to come out and visit him in New York but actually only ever seeing each other when Kurt went back to Ohio for the holidays. Gradually, the emails and texts came less and less, worsened by the fact that, after a year, Blaine had gone to college too and suddenly become just as busy as Kurt with new friends and too many essays and assignments to work on. The first Christmas that Kurt had gone back to Ohio after Blaine went to college neither of them had made any attempt to meet the other, both feeling guilty at not contacting the other one but stubbornly wanting the other person to make the first move too. That was two years ago.

"Come on," Rachel said, leading him towards the door of the coffee shop where they could already hear Blaine's husky voice drifting out across what sounded like a very packed room. "I'm sure he'll be delighted to see you… It won't be that bad, I promise." Kurt sighed and let her lead him in, knowing she absolutely would not give up until he did.

As he walked into the coffee shop, a thousand memories of his senior year flooded back to him, both good and bad. The shop looked almost exactly as he'd left it, except the tables and chairs had been cleared away, leaving only standing room and a small stage that had been set up at the far end.

Kurt's breath caught in his throat as he spotted Blaine sitting at a baby grand piano on the stage, singing a slowed down version of the latest Katy Perry song and looking _amazing_. He had seemed to go for a more casual look than Kurt remembered and didn't have as much gel in his hair as he used to wear, letting his curls fall loose slightly. He was wearing jeans and a plain blue sweater, the sleeves pushed up to his elbows, that hugged his shoulders and arms perfectly. He even had a small amount of stubble that made Kurt feel a little weak in the knees. Kurt couldn't stop staring as he watched his fingers run across the piano keys. His voice sounded almost the same as Kurt had remembered but it was just a bit more mature, more… accomplished. Kurt assumed that it must have been due to the music course he was studying and was pleased that he'd been benefitting from it.

He was so captivated by the way Blaine looked and sounded that he hadn't even noticed the fact that Rachel had been gently guiding him through the crowd and had succeeded in pushing him to the front. It was only as Blaine had finished the song and happened to glance out across the crowd, doing a double-take and smiling as he spotted him, that Kurt realised where he was. Blaine sang out the last note of the song to the audience, not breaking eye contact with Kurt, who just smiled slightly, before turning to look back at the piano.

He removed his hands from the keys and Kurt watched him just stare down at the piano for a few seconds, smiling to himself and shaking his head in, what seemed to be, disbelief. He looked as if he was in a world of his own and Kurt, at that moment, thought that he would've given anything to know what was on Blaine's mind. He didn't get the chance to think any more about it though as Blaine had lifted his head to speak into the microphone and to the audience.

"I… uh… I was going to do something a bit more upbeat next," he started, smiling bashfully, "but, I thought, seeing as it's Christmas in a few days, I'd do something a bit more _seasonal_ instead."

Kurt frowned slightly, wondering why Blaine had decided to change his set list at the last moment. A few seconds later, he got his answer as Blaine started to play a very familiar song intro, while still speaking to the audience.

"I am going to need a little help with this one though…" He glanced over to Kurt and grinned. "And I know just the guy…"

"Fuck," Kurt said with quiet realisation as he simultaneously heard Rachel whoop behind him. It felt like hours before Blaine said what Kurt knew now to be inevitable.

"Kurt?" He continued to grin, not losing their eye contact and smoothly playing the intro longer than it usually was to allow for extra time. Kurt's eyes widened and he shook his head. At the same time he felt a quick shove from Rachel behind him, forcing him on stage. He made a quick note to himself to pay her back for that later as he noticed a waitress, trying to surreptitiously run on stage with a second microphone and a stand, placing it in front of him, next to the piano. "I think you know how it goes…" Blaine said smoothly into his microphone, playing the build up to Kurt's first line. Kurt sighed and nodded, smiling gently at Blaine as he sang his first line.

_"I really can't stay…"_

_"But baby it's cold outside."_

_"I've got to go away…"_

_"Oh baby it's cold outside."_

It only took their first few lines for Kurt to feel transported to their Christmas four years ago, when he'd had such a crush on Blaine and was so desperate, during their practice, for Blaine to just lean over and give him a kiss. A kiss that never came. Blaine sang the song in an almost identical manner, still so flirty and sexy that Kurt half expected him to get up and start chasing him around the piano. Their voices mixed together with such ease and grace, it was like they'd been singing together for years, rather than it having been years since they'd sung together.

As the song played out, they couldn't take their eyes off of each other. After being a little stiff during the first verse, Kurt made a decision to take the moment in hand and start playing up to the song, especially considering how much Blaine seemed to be putting into it. After being at NYADA for three years now, he knew a lot about performing and wasn't going to let an opportunity to practice what he'd learnt slip away.

He pulled the microphone off its stand and started walking over to the piano, leaning on it slightly, singing to Blaine, before running his fingers along it as he started to walk around the instrument, not breaking eye contact with him. He continued to walk slowly around the piano until he reached the bench that Blaine was sitting on and proceeded to nudge him over slightly so he could sit next to him.

Blaine watched, wide-eyed, as Kurt acted up to the song, fluttering his eyelashes and pouting gently in all of the right parts. He remembered how innocently Kurt had sung it four years ago and, although he still had an air of innocence and grace to his performance, this was definitely more mature than he remembered. He attempted to ignore the familiar tightness in his stomach and pants as he felt Kurt press into his side and tried to not mess up the song.

They finished the last few notes of the song and Kurt was surprised to note that he felt disappointed for it to be over. He instantly pulled away from where he'd been leaning into Blaine slightly, stood up, did a small curtsey to the audience in thanks for their cheers and applause and gently nodded to Blaine, half-smiling and rushing off stage.

"Did you know about that?" He whispered to Rachel as soon as he stepped down, grabbing her elbow tightly and starting to pull her through the crowd.

"Not a clue," she smiled.

"You swear?"

"I swear. It was amazing though, Kurt. There was so much sexual tension still between you both! Everyone could see it."

"Don't be silly, Rachel," Kurt rolled his eyes, stopping to turn towards her, "we were performing. It's just what you _do_."

"Please," Rachel said, unconvinced, "there was so much heat coming off of you two, I thought it was going to start setting things on fire!" Kurt rolled his eyes again, used to Rachel's tendency towards the dramatic and grabbed her arm again, continuing to pull her through the crowd and away from Blaine. "What are you doing?" She hissed at him.

"I want to go home." He said sternly and dragged her outside.

"No, Kurt," she pulled her arm away from him. "You should go talk to him." Kurt was about to respond when Blaine came rushing out of the coffee shop door, looking for him. He paused and smiled when he noticed Kurt standing on the sidewalk. Kurt paused, staring wide-eyed at him, not really sure what to say.

"Hi." Blaine smiled shyly, not taking his eyes off of Kurt.

"Hi." Kurt smiled back.

"What's that, stage?" Rachel said dramatically, cupping her ear towards the coffee shop. "You're last owner has abandoned you and you're desperate for some young starlet to come and sing a Judy Garland medley? Well, I don't mind if I do!" She gestured as if she didn't have a choice before smiling gently at the couple, "I guess I'll have to leave you both alone for a while!" She smiled widely and headed back into the coffee shop.

"She hasn't changed," Blaine giggled, watching her leave.

"Not a single bit," Kurt responded.

"I can't believe you're here," Blaine looked at Kurt seriously before laughing gently, relaxing his shoulders and rushing forward to scoop Kurt up in a tight hug. "It's been so long!"

"So long," Kurt echoed into Blaine's shoulder, feeling his body almost automatically melt into his chest. Blaine pulled away to look him in the eyes, but kept his hands on Kurt's shoulders, as if he didn't want to let go.

"Did you want to… I mean… if you don't mind… Can we… can we catch up?" He asked hesitantly.

"Of course," Kurt smiled and nodded.

"Coffee or alcohol?"

"Both!" Kurt released a sigh and a laugh simultaneously. "Just… can we… not here?"

"Sure," Blaine smiled and nodded, "sure, uhm, I know a great bar near here. It's within walking distance?"

"Ok." Kurt nodded, quickly pulling out his cell and typing out a text to Rachel to let her know where he was going before allowing Blaine to lead the way.

"You look good," Blaine smiled as they walked, both of their breath visible in the winter air. Kurt gulped and smiled at the compliment.

"Thanks… you too." They walked in silence for a few moments, each of them having so much they wanted to say but equally both feeling too scared to say anything. Kurt thought for a while of anything they could talk about that wouldn't involve talking about how they lost touch, or even why they lost touch.

"So… how's college?" Blaine asked, breaking their silence.

"Good, it's good. Busy as all hell but really good." Kurt smiled. "You?"

"Same," Blaine laughed gently before they returned to silence again. Kurt noted how ridiculous it was that they used to be so close, couldn't go a few minutes without talking to each other and knew everything about the other one but now, he didn't know anything about the man standing next to him, about _this_ Blaine. However, he wasn't sure how he should go about getting to know Blaine again, or even if he should. Maybe they lost touch for a good reason before?

They arrived at their destination, a small, tucked away bar named Rogues, and Blaine held the door open for Kurt, just as much of a gentleman as he always was. They quickly walked over to the counter, perching themselves on stools and each ordering their drinks separately, Blaine's slightly more mature look helping him to get away with being underage. This was another thing that Kurt noticed was different. They used to know each other so well that they ordered for each other but Kurt had no idea what sort of drink Blaine liked anymore and, it seemed, Blaine had the same realisation.

Blaine paid for both of their drinks before taking a long sip of whatever he'd ordered and spending a few moments staring into his drink.

"Thanks for singing with me." He said quietly, not looking up from his drink.

"It wasn't a problem. Not that I had much of a choice, anyway." Kurt teased.

"It was good to sing together again, huh? Brings back a lot of memories…"

"Yeah," Kurt raised his eyebrows and nodded, thinking back to the short time they'd spent together at Dalton.

"So, how's Burt and Carole? It's weird to think I haven't seen them since they took you off to college." Blaine asked after another few moments of silence.

"They're good, thanks for asking. How about you, how's your family?"

"Yeah, good. Cooper just got married about 6 months ago. They've just announced they're expecting a kid too."

"That's great, send him my congratulations." Kurt answered politely.

"I will."

"And Sebastian, how's he doing? Still as smirky as ever?" Kurt joked, feeling himself relax slightly.

"Oh… we… we broke up, actually." Blaine said, not with sadness but rather with confusion.

"Oh god, I'm sorry! How long has it been?" Kurt placed his hand over Blaine's in an attempt to comfort him. Blaine laughed into his drink quietly before answering.

"Just over 3 years."

"Wait… what?" Kurt tipped his head in confusion at the same time as removing his hand from Blaine's.

"We broke up about a few months after you left for college."

"You… you never told me." Blaine shrugged his shoulders.

"There never seemed to be a good time to tell you." Kurt took a deep breath at the admission.

"Look, Blaine… I'm so sor…" Kurt was cut off by the sound of Blaine's cell ringing with the name Simon flashing up. Blaine smiled at him apologetically and turned away slightly to answer it. Kurt frowned, annoyed that he was interrupted just as he'd managed to get the nerve up to apologise to Blaine for them losing touch. Kurt eavesdropped as Blaine spoke into the cell in a hushed voice.

"No, baby, I can't tonight, I'm busy." He watched as Blaine laughed gently at whatever the other person was saying. "Yeah, tomorrow's fine but make sure you're wearing those shorts I like… you know which ones…" he said in a sultry, deep voice that Kurt had never heard him use. "Ok, I'll see you then…" Blaine hung up the phone and turned to Kurt who quickly looked away, pretending he hadn't been listening. "Sorry about that."

"That's ok…" Kurt paused, "someone special?" Kurt asked, trying to sound as casual as possible.

"Oh…" Blaine looked down at his phone, "no, not really… just… just someone." He smiled at Kurt, brushing past the subject quickly. "Anyway, what were we talking about?" Kurt paused again, wondering if he should take the time to apologise but didn't get a chance as Blaine quickly changed the subject. "So, what's it like in New York?"

"Incredible! It's just so bright and exciting, I've been there for three years and I'm still finding new things that I didn't know were going on. I mean, the people there are just…" Kurt was interrupted by Blaine's cell ringing again, this time with the name Julian flashing up.

"Ugh, I'm so sorry about this," Blaine smiled apologetically as he answered again. Kurt sighed deeply as Blaine turned away once more. This time it was more difficult for Kurt to listen in as Blaine was speaking even quieter than before but he still managed to catch snippets of the conversation.

"Yeah last night was great…" He said quietly and Kurt frowned as he overheard Blaine having what seemed to be an equally flirty conversation with someone who definitely wasn't the same person as the previous call. "Well, I just didn't want to wake you… Ok, well, definitely next time… Ok, bye." Blaine turned back to face Kurt.

"Another someone?" Kurt asked, teasingly.

"Sort of…" Blaine smiled sheepishly and rubbed the back of his neck. "You know how it is…"

"Not really," Kurt said directly as Blaine's cell started ringing again. "I should go," Kurt sighed.

"No, wait," Blaine said, a little too desperately, "this one's my mom!"

"It's fine," Kurt laughed, not believing him for a second, "I'm not here to judge."

"You still are." Blaine said, sulkily.

"It's fine, honestly," Kurt said, "you're just… different from how I remember you but it's been great catching up." Kurt moved towards Blaine and hugged him. "We should… we should hang out again though. I'm in Ohio until after Christmas. You have my number, call me." Kurt said politely. In all honesty, he wasn't sure if he wanted Blaine to call him but it seemed like the right thing to say. This person, this _man_, who seemed to be a lot more promiscuous than Kurt remembered, was not who Kurt became friends with. Sure there were things about him that seemed to be the same but, there was also a lot changed. Maybe too much and Kurt wasn't sure if he liked all of it.

"Yeah, sure, of course." Blaine said, breaking the hug and sitting back on the bar stool. He said his goodbyes to Kurt and watched him walk away.

Blaine turned back to his drink and took a long swig to finish it before ordering another. _Well, that went terribly_, he thought to himself as he replayed their conversation. He had to admit he was surprised but happy when Kurt had turned up to his show but, he equally knew that his promises to stay in touch were empty. He was ashamed that Kurt had found out about how he'd been sleeping around but, that was how Blaine had dealt with the last remaining feelings he had for Kurt. The Christmas that they didn't contact each other for the first time was when it had started. For him, sleeping with other people was a distraction, a few moments where he could stop having Kurt's face floating around in his mind, taunting him. Now, it was almost a habit. It was just a part of who he was.

He'd accepted the fact that Kurt had moved on to greater things than him, if anything it clarified just how right he'd been to not tell Kurt he loved him all those years ago. So he had, had to move on to. And he had, mostly. That was why he couldn't keep his promise to call Kurt. He couldn't risk those feelings coming back and having to go through getting his heart broken again. As he finished his second drink and headed out of the bar into the cool, night air, he convinced himself that this was for the best, a feeling that became more certain with every step as he headed home, alone.


	7. 9th September 2017

9th September 2017

Kurt huffed loudly as he carried the papers along the New York street. He may have just been promoted from intern to paid office assistant at the Jefferson Theatre but, his boss didn't seem to realise it, and was still treating him like an intern. That was how he'd managed to be roped into hand delivering some new scripts to some of their resident actors and how he'd ended up carrying about a million of them along Columbus Avenue.

He grumbled to himself as he felt the packets of paper slip slightly for what seemed to be the hundredth time and thought to himself that at least it was a nice fall afternoon, weather-wise, even if he'd had a particularly bad day. He at least could comfort himself with the fact that he had a date that evening. The guy, Liam, was a gorgeous young actor that Kurt had met at the theatre and, thanks to Rachel pushing him slightly, he'd eventually gotten the courage up to ask him out. He'd shocked himself that he'd actually done it and was even more shocked when Liam had said yes.

Kurt continued to walk briskly along the street, re-considering the outfit he'd chosen for the evening, wondering if it might look too much like he was into bondage and not paying attention to where he was going when he felt a weight hit his side and some of the paper packs fall out of his hands as he collided with someone.

"Shit!" He cried, watching the paper fly out of his hands and he quickly fell to his knees, scrambling to try and collect the packs before they got too damaged. As he did he could hear a familiar voice talking on a cell.

"Uhh, I'm gonna need to call you back." Kurt could hear the voice say before seeing the other person bending down to help him out of the corner of his eye. "I'm so sorry," the voice spoke quickly and grabbed for the packs. Kurt's eyes focussed on the person's hands and he noticed that he recognised them too and, realising who was in front of him, quickly looked up as the person passed the last of the packs to him.

"Blaine?" He smiled, disbelievingly. Blaine looked up, suddenly realising who he'd bumped into and smiled. Kurt noticed how he looked different from the last time he saw him. He'd gone back to gelling his hair and was wearing a suit, Kurt assumed he must have been on his way to work considering how smart he was looking.

"Kurt!" He grinned as they both stood up. "What are you doing here?" He stepped forwards and tried to hug Kurt around the papers. Kurt grimaced slightly as they hugged when he noticed that, instead of carrying a briefcase, Blaine was wearing a backpack. It was an awful fashion statement, Kurt noted, but he did look completely adorable with it flung over his broad shoulders.

"Me? What are _you_ doing here, I thought you were in Ohio?"

"I was. I mean, I am. I'm just here for a few days on business and then I'm going back."

"Really, what business?" Kurt asked, nosily.

"Just my Dad's. He finally got me to cave and work for him." Blaine rolled his eyes as if to say, _you know what I'm talking _about. Funnily enough, Kurt did. They'd talked a lot when they were at school together about the difficult relationship that Blaine and his Dad had. His father being constantly disapproving of him, and Blaine being determined to do his own thing but still desperate to gain his father's acceptance. Kurt could remember Blaine, after another argument with his father about what he was going to do with his life (and how he shouldn't be doing anything performance-based), angrily saying that hell would have to freeze over for him to ever work for his father.

"Although I'm mostly doing it because he's paying for an apartment for me and it was the only way I'd ever be able to move out on my own." Blaine continued, fidgeting slightly, embarrassed at having admitted that he now was quite dependant on his father. Kurt considered joking that he would have to call Santana and make sure she's got enough sweaters to survive the cold but realised that he wasn't sure if Blaine would appreciate the joke. It had been so long since they'd talked about it that it could have been too sore a subject to joke about.

"I see." Kurt nodded, not sure of what else to say in that situation. He moved his hand to clutch the bottom of the pile of papers as they were slipping again and sighed gently.

"Do you need a hand?" Blaine asked politely, laughing a little at Kurt wriggling to try and hold onto the pile.

"Oh no, I'm fine." He said, nudging the papers up with his stomach, "You're headed in the other direction anyway…"

"Oh… No I was just going to get a coffee, my meeting's actually back the other way," Blaine said before starting to automatically take some of the weight out of Kurt's arms. "Seriously, let me help." He smiled, halving Kurt's load.

"Ok, thanks." Kurt smiled back, "I guess we should start heading back this way then," he gestured with his head in the direction he was originally walking in and started to walk off quickly. Blaine was a little slower than Kurt was so had to skip a few steps before he caught up. "That backpack is awful, by the way," Kurt joked as they started walking. Blaine pulled a mock-offended face.

"How dare you, Kurt! We haven't seen each other in two years and you're already bashing my fashion choices! I'll have you know this is Alexander McQueen!"

"No it's not." Kurt rolled his eyes making Blaine laugh.

"Ok it's not but, come on, could you really ever see me carrying a briefcase? Plus it pisses my Dad off and is about the only small amount of rebellion I can get away with these days." Kurt giggled at Blaine's desire to still rebel against his father even though he was technically now an adult and had given in to his Dad, job-wise.

"So how come you're trying to carry an entire warehouse's worth of paper around New York?" Blaine asked, a hint of humour in his voice.

"It's for my job..." Kurt said as if that was all he needed to say. Blaine pulled a face to encourage him to give more information. "I work in a theatre as an office assistant and general dogsbody."

"That sounds exciting!" Blaine said enthusiastically.

"It's really not," Kurt spoke dryly, "but it's a start."

"Are you working there while you're auditioning?"

"Kind of," Kurt nodded. "I've not really gone on many." He confessed, pulling a face as he spoke.

"How come?"

"I'm still trying to work out what I want to do as a career." Kurt shrugged. "I love performing but don't know if I want to do it full time, y'know?" Blaine nodded, listening intently. "Either way, I know I want to work in the theatre, so this is getting me some experience and buying me some time."

"So where are you going next?" Blaine stopped walking and looked at Kurt.

"I'm considering costume design," Kurt said seriously and then was shocked when Blaine burst out into laughter. "Why are you laughing?" Kurt said, affronted. "Do you think it's a bad idea?"

"No, no!" Blaine said, still laughing. "No, it's a fantastic idea, I just meant what direction are we going in?" Kurt looked around and realised they'd reached a crossing. He blushed at the misunderstanding before telling Blaine to just carry on straight ahead.

"I hope I'm not taking you too far out of your way," Kurt asked, aware if the fact that Blaine must have had other plans that day.

"It's ok," Blaine smiled, "my office is further along here."

After another few minutes, they finally arrived at Kurt's destination. Thankfully, he knew that more than one of the actors would be there so his load would be significantly lighter.

"I'm not going to walk in here and find a club full of holiday resort workers gyrating against each other, am I?" Blaine laughed, looking up at the building.

"What?" Kurt asked, turning to face Blaine.

"You know," Blaine smiled, wiggling his pile of papers around before putting on a girl's voice, "I carried a watermelon!" Kurt snorted and dropped his head.

"Please, that's so not realistic," Kurt laughed, taking Blaine's pile of papers from him. Blaine raised his eyebrows at Kurt's comment.

"I thought you liked that movie."

"No, I meant your Baby was unrealistic," Kurt laughed. Blaine frowned, clearly not getting it so Kurt continued explaining. "You're such a Johnny, it's almost painful." He smiled. "Thanks for helping me, by the way."

"Not a problem." Blaine shrugged. "Are you gonna be ok the rest of the way?"

"Most of them are being dropped off here," Kurt said, "So I'll be fine, thanks." Blaine nodded, suddenly stuck for things to say. "It's been really great seeing you. You should call me next time you're in New York and we can catch up properly."

"Yeah," Blaine said, fully aware of the fact that he was still purposefully avoiding doing exactly that so that he could stay being over Kurt. It was easier for him to just stay away and closed off from it so that the feelings didn't spill out again. "I mean, work's pretty busy right now but I'll definitely be in touch," he lied. "It was really great seeing you too, Kurt. Really." He smiled before turning back the way they came and starting to walk down the street.

"Wait!" Kurt called after him, prompting Blaine to stop and turn back around to face him. "I thought your office was in the direction we were walking?" Blaine blushed gently.

"I guess I lied." He winked and smiled before walking away, knowing he'd just made himself extremely late for his meeting but not caring one bit.


	8. 27th May 2018

27th May 2018

Kurt was not happy with leaving the house. He'd grumbled as Finn introduced him to the idea that morning, telling him that he needed a break and needed to get some air. He had shaken his head and refused outright at first. Then, when he had coincidentally received an invitation from his friends for that very evening, he'd frowned and thanked them for the invite but refused. However, when Rachel had turned up at the house in that evening and forced him to agree to leaving, as much as he'd tried to turn her away, she wouldn't stop speaking so loudly, and shrilly, about how he needed to get out of the house, even if it was just for one evening so, begrudgingly, that was exactly what he was doing.

It had only been a few weeks since Kurt had got the call about his Dad having had another heart attack. He hadn't thought twice about rushing back from New York to Ohio to take care of him. From the second he'd turned up at the hospital, that was exactly what he'd been doing non-stop. Thankfully he hadn't been as bad as last time and was already getting better but that hadn't stopped Kurt from being utterly exhausted. All of the worry and running around had meant that he wasn't sleeping very well.

"You will ring me if anything happens, right?" He had asked Finn as he was leaving.

"Yeah, of course." Finn replied.

"I mean it, Finn," Kurt almost yelled, as Rachel tugged on his arm to leave. "If there is so much as a slightly quickened breathing rate, I want to know about it!"

"Yeah, dude, ok, I'll ring you, relax!" Finn held his hands up, almost in self-defence.

That was how he had found himself at Mercedes' house for a reunion party, of sorts. Apparently, the fact that he and Rachel were back in Ohio for however long, had meant that a party had, had to be planned. Kurt was fully aware of the fact that his friends were also making an attempt to cheer him up and take his mind off of the drama that was his life at that moment. Drama that he had to go through without Liam who, really, he needed more than ever at that time.

_"Is there no way you can come with me, I really need some-one supportive there?" Kurt had asked his boyfriend, resting his cell between his cheek and shoulder, while packing his suitcase._

_"I'm so sorry, babe," Liam's voice drifted out to him, "I've got this acting job coming up and I can't get out of it. The idiots didn't think it would be a good idea to cast understudies! Something about recessions and trying to save money…"_

_"I just… I really need you…" Kurt sighed and paused his packing, trying to hold back his tears. He'd already cried so much that evening over the news about his father, he really didn't need to shed tears over this too._

_"I know, I'm sorry. Look, why not ask Rachel to go with you? She's in a much bigger production than mine, she'll definitely have an understudy and you know she'd drop everything to help you."_

_"I guess," Kurt shrugged and started playing with a loose thread on his suitcase. "I suppose just after a heart attack probably isn't the best time for my Dad to be meeting you for the first time anyway."_

_"I'll be here at the end of the phone whenever you need me, ok?"_

_"Ok."_

"Come on, Kurt," Tina came over to where he was sitting, miserably, on the couch, bringing him back to reality, and pulled him to his feet. "Come and get a drink."

"Fine," Kurt sighed, allowing her to drag him to the kitchen and pour a drink. He didn't care to ask what she'd poured him as it seemed to be a mixture of everything and from the strong smell and the way it burnt his throat slightly as he sipped it, he was fairly certain that it was incredibly strong but he hoped that, that would mean that it'd numb everything just a little bit. She took him back into the other room and started to fill him in on her wedding plans, for the fifteenth time.

"So, I'm thinking of going with purple and black for the colours," She yelled over the loud music that was playing, "just because it's something a bit different. I mean, Mike's not that bothered but I want to look back on it and know it was something special , y'know?"

"Uh-huh," Kurt responded, noncommittally, staring into his drink. Thankfully, after a few minutes, Tina, noticing that Kurt wasn't really playing a part in the conversation and not really wanting to force it on him, had managed to drag the other girls into the conversation too. It meant that, when Kurt thought he'd spotted a familiar head of dark, curly hair, he didn't feel bad about taking a few extra seconds to check and see if it was who he thought it was. Kurt stood on his tip toes for a second and tried to peer over the crowd of people to see if he could spot him again but didn't see anything so forgot about it and concentrated back on Tina.

A few minutes later and a chance gaze across the room confirmed his earlier suspicions as a small group of people moved out of his eye line and he saw him clearly. The first things he noticed were the gorgeous golden, hazel eyes that were unfocused as he was listening to whoever was talking to him at the time. Kurt watched Blaine for a few minutes, filled with a warmth that he couldn't explain but that felt so familiar and comforting to him. He noticed how good Blaine looked in the sweater and bow-tie combination he was wearing and realising how much he'd missed those bow-ties.

It didn't take long for Blaine's focus to change when he caught Kurt watching him. He smiled widely in recognition and nodded a hello. Kurt nodded back, now not even caring if he was ignoring the girls. In fact, everyone else in the room had seemed to fade into the background so he'd all but forgotten they were even there, his focus now solely on Blaine's presence across the room. Blaine gestured with his head towards the back door, questioningly. Kurt nodded gently in agreement, watching as Blaine smiled again and walked away. Kurt made an excuse to the girls and left to join Blaine outside.

As he stepped outside, he spotted Blaine standing with his back turned to him at the far end of the garden. He shut the screen door behind him to shut out the noises from the house, causing Blaine to spin around from the sound.

"Kurt." He grinned widely.

"Blaine." Kurt smiled. Blaine stepped forwards and pulled Kurt into a tight hug, burying his face into the crook of Kurt's neck. Kurt's breathing shuddered as he felt Blaine's skin against his own and he was instantly reminded of why he'd been so attracted to him at school.

"I'm so sorry." He mumbled gently into Kurt's shoulder.

"Why?" Kurt pulled away to look at Blaine's face.

"I heard about your Dad."

"Oh." Kurt bit his lip and looked to the floor.

"How's he doing?"

"He's fine. He scared us for a moment but, it wasn't as bad as the last time." Kurt said, looking back up at Blaine. He nodded and told Kurt how glad he was to hear that.

"It's good to see you, though, despite the circumstances." He said, half-smiling as he spoke.

"You too," Kurt said quietly.

"How are _you_ doing?" Blaine asked, the concern showing on his forehead. He gently rubbed his hands up and down along Kurt's arms. "Are you coping ok? You know if you need anything…"

"I know, thanks." Kurt nodded graciously. They may not have seen each other in so long but, secretly, he understood that Blaine would always be there for him if he ever needed it and vice versa.

"Seriously, though, are you doing ok?" Blaine frowned, trying to search Kurt's eyes for some kind of clue to his mental state at the time. He grasped Kurt's hands tightly as he did. Kurt paused and looked down at his hands that were now being caressed tenderly with Blaine's thumbs, not knowing how to answer. People had asked him how Burt was often but, no-one had stopped to really check how he was doing. Not that they didn't care but, just that, he hadn't just had a heart attack.

"I'm fine," Kurt answered quietly, suddenly feeling choked. He let his head fall to his chest and sighed gently a few times, trying to hold back his tears. Now that he was outside and away from all of his friend's chatter, the realisation of his situation suddenly hit him. How worried he'd been, how tired he was and how lost he felt. A small tear rolled down his cheek as he continued to look to the ground, hoping that Blaine wouldn't notice.

"Kurt…" Blaine said, stepping forwards and scooping him up into another tight hug.

"I'm sorry," Kurt said, feeling embarrassed at not being able to hold onto his emotions.

"You've got nothing to apologise for." Blaine chastised him gently and shook his head as he continued to hold him, stroking his back to soothe him. Kurt rested his head on Blaine's shoulder and breathed in, noticing how, even in 6 years, he still smelt exactly the same as he did when they were at school and that his smell could still make him feel so warm, comforted and _at home_ all at the same time, almost instantly.

He let his tears fall slightly harder now, feeling finally consoled and safe. He'd been wound up so tightly, and trying to get on with making things ok with his father, trying to do it without his boyfriend there, that he hadn't realised just how tense he was. All of the people in his life knew that he needed to just get on with things and work to make everything better, that was how he dealt in these situations, by helping keep an eye on his father's diet, getting his blood pressure tested, taking him for check-ups at the hospital. He had to keep taking those practical steps to help both of them get through this. None of his friends, or family, though, had at any point thought to just stop and _hold _him. To just hug him and let him cry and, really, that was what he had needed. He hadn't known he needed it but he felt such a release being in Blaine's arms and letting the emotions spill out of him that he could feel his whole body relax in a way it hadn't been for quite a while.

"I'm such an idiot," he sniffed, pulling away slightly, not meeting Blaine's eyes as he tried to pull himself together.

"You're not…" Blaine said, shaking his head vigorously and lightly kissing his forehead to comfort him, "don't think that…" he kissed his nose, "because you're…" he kissed his left cheek, catching Kurt's tears on his lips as he did, "really, really not…" and then his right cheek. "It's ok to be upset about this, ok?" He bent down to catch Kurt's eyes before pressing his lips lightly to Kurt's, holding him tighter. It wasn't a kiss of passion, or lust but purely of friendship. It was Blaine wanting Kurt to be comforted and to feel better and this being the best way he knew how to do that. He hadn't even thought about it before he'd leaned in, it was as if it was an automatic reaction to the situation.

Kurt sighed gently as he felt Blaine's hands caress his back. He moved to suck on Blaine's lower lip gently, enjoying the warm feeling of his lips on his own and melting into the kiss, forgetting everything else that was going on with him. He pulled away slowly and rested his head back on Blaine's shoulder, rubbing his cheek gently on the warm, soft feeling of Blaine's sweater. He understood the intention of the kiss, just as much as Blaine did.

"Thank you." Kurt whispered.

"No problem," Blaine responded, leaning his head down to kiss Kurt gently on the shoulder. They both heard the music change in the house, finally playing something a bit quieter and more slowed down. Still cradling Kurt in his arms, Blaine moved one hand to hold Kurt's, pulled it to his chest and started swaying slowly, in time to the music. They moved in silence for a minute as Blaine started to gently hum along to the song, relaxing Kurt even further as he could feel the vibrations in Blaine's chest against his own.

"I've missed you." Kurt finally said, quietly, as they moved together.

"I've missed you too," Blaine said. It was technically a lie. He had just spent so many years removing Kurt from his mind that, he hadn't allowed himself to miss him. However, it was also technically the truth because, at that moment, under the stars and holding Kurt, being there for him, he realised he _had_ missed him. He'd been ignoring the empty space that Kurt used to fill in his life for years now. He'd never found any other person that was even worth comparing to Kurt, pushing away anyway who had tried coming too close. Even the friends he had couldn't compare to the headstrong, graceful energy that the Kurt he remembered always had and that he'd been so drawn to. He'd spent time actively trying to forget about that, about every part of Kurt that haunted him; his lips, his poise, his refusal to let anyone beat him down. Blaine considered whether it was time to stop that now, if maybe, he'd had enough of running.

"Each time we've bumped into each other, I've told you to call me and you don't." Kurt said suddenly, his sweet voice piercing the air.

"I know."

"I feel… I mean… are you doing it on purpose?" Kurt asked tentatively and moved to look Blaine in the eyes.

"What makes you say that?"

"Just a hunch," Kurt shrugged. "We just used to be so close and, I'm kind of sad that we lost touch."

"Me too," Blaine nodded, "but, you didn't really want me to call you after that first time we bumped into each other…"

"No, I guess not. I didn't think you _wouldn't_ call, though."

"I was ashamed."

"You should have been." Kurt half-smiled, a hint of sadness still in his eyes. Blaine looked at him intently, feeling suddenly so guilty for trying to forget him. Maybe it would be ok. They were both older, more mature. He could totally be Kurt's friend and not be in love with him. "Can we… can we not lose touch this time, please?" Kurt asked, pleading. "You know me better than anyone else and I need that, I need you, in my life…"

"Ok," Blaine nodded and pulled Kurt in for another hug, "I promise." He held onto him tightly, closing his eyes and burying his nose into Kurt's hair, thinking of all the times he'd almost called Kurt and hadn't, making an active decision to hold back his feelings. He hoped he wasn't about to prove himself right and could cope with being Kurt's friend, and just Kurt's friend, again. He knew that Kurt had a boyfriend, Mercedes had been keeping him up to date and he was dealing fine with that so he should be fine with dealing with this. He _would_ be fine with dealing with this. For Kurt.


	9. 2nd February 2019

2nd February 2019

"Blaine!" Kurt playfully slapped his hand as he caught him trying to sneak things into the trolley for the fifth time. "I'm seriously regretting bringing you food shopping with me, you know."

"Oh come on, Kurt," Blaine pouted, "are you trying to tell me you couldn't use more ice-cream in your life?"

"Not really." Kurt answered quickly. Blaine pulled a face and cuddled the ice-cream to his chest, turning away from him slightly in mock-horror.

"Ssh, Kurt! You'll hurt it's feelings…"

"Are you five?" Kurt giggled.

"Quite possibly," Blaine nodded seriously.

"Fine, we can get the ice-cream but you're not allowed to anthropomorphise any other food to get me to buy it," Kurt raised his eyebrows to show he meant business.

"Aw, but it's fun!" Blaine pouted again. "Y'know, Kurt, I don't know why you bothered to invite me over for dinner if you're not going to let me pick the food…"

"I didn't invite you over for dinner, Blaine." Kurt said, trying to act mad at him but failing completely.

"Oh I think you did, Kurt," Blaine said, with a fake-sultry tone in his voice, stepping closer to Kurt and placing something that was actually on their list, for a change, into the cart.

"Really." Kurt stopped pushing the shopping cart, crossed his arms and turned to face Blaine. "And how do you suppose I did that without remembering?"

"Oh, you did it," Blaine nodded, certainly, "with… your… eyes." He pulled a face and growled like a lion, teasing Kurt who rolled his eyes, holding back another giggle, and continued pushing the cart along the aisle of the store.

"Really?" Kurt said. "Because if I remember correctly, I believe it was you who turned up on my doorstep and demanded that I feed you and then, when you realised I had no food, you demanded again that we go and buy some food."

"Yeah, well, work makes me hungry and you're very pretty. Both of those things, I think, go _very_ well together." Blaine winked and nudged Kurt, gently.

"How is that whole working for your Dad thing going? You almost never talk about it…" Kurt asked. Every time Blaine was in New York now, it was inevitable that he would, at some point, turn up on Kurt's doorstep, hoping to forget about work for a while.

"It's… going…" Blaine said, really wishing the subject hadn't been brought up. "I have a job, that's more than a lot of people can say…"

"But I thought you wanted to do something more creative, it doesn't seem to suit you to just be an office drone?" Kurt pushed.

"Can we just not talk about it please?" Blaine said sharply before taking a deep breath and continuing. "I'm sorry, I'm not mad at you, I just… It's the weekend, I don't wanna think about work right now, please?"

"Ok." Kurt said, slightly hurt that Blaine didn't want to talk to him about it and started walking off, a hint of tension still left in the air. "So, any thoughts as to what you want to have for dinner, or are you just gonna be eating ice-cream?" He sighed gently.

"No, hang on, you're pissed." Blaine said, rushing after him and grabbing Kurt's arm gently. "Talk to me."

"It's nothing… I just… I don't know why you don't want to talk to me about your work…"

"It's not that I don't want to talk to _you_, Kurt," Blaine smiled, "I just don't want to talk about work full stop. I'm sorry."

"It's ok." Kurt shrugged, it wasn't a huge deal. He started to walk off but was stopped by Blaine grabbing hold of his arm again.

"No, no, we're not going anywhere until I see you smile," Blaine said, grinning. Kurt rolled his eyes and gave Blaine a huge fake grin.

"It'll do." Blaine laughed and shrugged as they started to walk along the aisle once more. They finally, after Blaine tried, and failed, to convince Kurt that apple pie was a legitimate dinner choice, got to the checkout and started to pile the food onto the conveyor belt. Kurt, followed by Blaine, pushed their cart through to the other side of the checkout. The checkout girl handed them a few bags and they started packing.

After a few seconds, Blaine had already gotten bored and decided to start grabbing groceries from the checkout, just as Kurt was reaching for them and packing them into the bag he was holding. Kurt chuckled the first time he did it but, as Blaine, grinning, kept doing it and filling his own bags, Kurt started to get competitive, grabbing the groceries quicker to try and beat him. After a few minutes he felt Blaine's hip bump his and push him out of the way so he could grab the last item and shove it in his own bag.

"That wasn't fair!" Kurt said in anger.

"What wasn't?" Blaine feigned innocence.

"You broke the rules!"

"I'm not sure I ever established any rules to this game but, now you mention it, I do have one rule that I want to bring into action."

"What's that?" Kurt asked, placing his hands on his hips.

"I win." Blaine grinned as he grabbed the bags and placed them in the shopping cart.

"I hate you," Kurt said drily, shaking his head as he moved towards the checkout girl to pay.

"Do you want me to pay?" Blaine asked seriously, "Most of the food's mine…" He glanced at the cart thoughtfully.

"It's fine," Kurt smiled, "I get to have you in New York for a few days so feeding you is not a problem."

"That's so sweet, Kurt!" Blaine said, stroking Kurt's arm gently as Kurt shrugged as if to say, _of course._

"I hope you don't mind me saying," the checkout girl suddenly spoke and smiled up at them as she processed Kurt's payment, "but you two make just the loveliest couple…"

"Really?" Blaine raised his eyebrows and smiled. Kurt opened his mouth to speak but felt Blaine's arm wrap around his side and pull him close. "Well, it's mostly down to this gorgeous guy right here." He said as if he was telling the girl a secret before softly nuzzling Kurt's cheek with his nose and pressing a kiss to it, causing him to blush. Kurt couldn't find anything to respond with so thanked the girl as he took his card back from her and quickly pushed Blaine, who was chuckling to himself, away from the checkout, pushing the cart at the same time.

"That was kinda mean, Blaine, making that girl think we're together when we're not." Kurt frowned.

"Who says I did? We do make a lovely couple… of friends!" Kurt laughed at how ridiculous Blaine was. "Why, did I make you uncomfortable?" He asked seriously.

"No! I mean… you're tactile, I'm used to it." Kurt said, a hint of humour in his voice, "but you did lie." Blaine shrugged, brushing it off and heading to his car.

Not long after they got back to Kurt's apartment, Kurt rolled up his sleeves and started making dinner commenting that if Blaine was hungry when he got there, he must have been starving now. Blaine watched as Kurt pulled out flour, butter and filled up a glass of water.

"What the hell are you making?" He laughed as he watched the flour go into the bowl and some small pieces of butter followed shortly after.

"Pastry." Kurt said simply. He dug his hands into the bowl and started rubbing the butter into the flour with his fingertips.

"Why are you making pastry?" Blaine asked, frowning in confusion and causing Kurt to pause and look at him.

"You said you wanted pie…" Kurt said, confused.

"You're making me apple pie for dinner?" Blaine grinned.

"No, chicken pie but I figured if you wanted apple pie then you'd probably want any kind of pie." Kurt shrugged, "Do you not want it because, if you don't, let me know now and I'll just save the pastry for another day?"

"No, that sounds great, thanks." Blaine smiled. "Do you need any help?"

"You can start cutting up the vegetables?" Kurt nodded towards the pile of vegetables he'd left on the side to put into the pie. Blaine did as he was told for a few minutes before getting distracted as Kurt gradually became hot and bothered from working the pastry through his fingers. Suddenly filled with a desire to be mischievous, Blaine surreptitiously dipped his fingers into the glass of water that Kurt was going to use for the pastry and flicked some at him before quickly turning back to the vegetables as if nothing had happened. Kurt flinched as he felt cold on his face and looked up to look at Blaine, sitting across from him.

"Did you just flick water at me?" He said, laughing disbelievingly.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Blaine said, innocently. Kurt didn't respond, wiping his face on the edge of his rolled up sleeve, and, instead, just turned back to continue working the butter through the flour. A few minutes later, it happened again.

"You did, didn't you?" Kurt said, pointing a flour covered finger at Blaine.

"Did what?" Blaine said, raising his eyebrows. Kurt grumbled quietly and turned back to his bowl, shaking his head gently.

After another few minutes, Blaine gently pressed a finger into the butter, scooping a small amount up and, grinning as he slowly reached towards Kurt and smeared the end of his nose with it. Kurt paused for a few seconds and looked at Blaine, narrowing his eyes.

"Oh, it is so _on,_ Anderson!" He said with a menacing grin before scooping some flour into his hand and throwing it into Blaine's face. Blaine blinked for a few seconds, glad that none of it got into his eyes, before grabbing some flour himself and throwing it back at Kurt. It wasn't long until they were chasing each other around the kitchen island, each throwing anything messy they could find at each other and giggling loudly.

"I'm gonna get you so bad, Blaine," Kurt yelled as he chased Blaine around the kitchen island. It was only when Kurt threw an egg at Blaine, hitting his shoulder, that they stopped when he cried out in pain.

"Shit, Kurt, that really hurt!" Blaine grumbled.

"Oh my god," Kurt said, his smile fading instantly as he rushed towards him. "I'm so sorry, are you ok?" As Kurt rushed over to Blaine to check to see if he was hurt, Blaine's face quickly changed from frowning to grinning.

"Yup." He said, laughing as he squashed some more butter into Kurt's cheek. Kurt stood in stunned silence at how Blaine had tricked him. He noticed the half empty bag of flour on the counter next to him out of the corner of his eye at the same time as Blaine. They both grabbed for it, trying desperately to wrestle it out of the other one's hands, giggling and covering themselves completely in flour. They were fighting so much that they didn't notice the small amount of butter that had been spilled onto the floor until Blaine stepped on it and slipped, falling to the ground and pulling Kurt on top of him. They paused for a second, laughing together and trying to catch their breath as Blaine gripped Kurt's hips with his hands, enjoying the feeling of having him resting on his chest.

"Are you ok?" He asked, breathless as he checked to make sure Kurt wasn't hurt.

"Other than the fact that you've ruined a perfectly good outfit, I'm fine." Kurt giggled and pressed his forehead to Blaine's chest. Blaine felt his heart race at the action and how close they were. All he would have to do would be to lift his head up a few inches and he could kiss Kurt. Right there. He didn't even care that Kurt was covered in flour and butter and god knows what else because he couldn't stop thinking about Kurt's lips and tongue on his own and on his neck and his chest, or the way he might taste if Blaine licked all the way up from his collarbone to his ear. He took a deep breath, trying to get the thoughts out of his mind because otherwise he would be fairly certain that Kurt would be able to feel how turned on he was and that would definitely not have been great for their friendship. Kurt, hearing Blaine's sigh, looked up and smiled at him, some of his hair falling into his face.

"Are you ok? I didn't really hurt you with that egg did I?" Kurt said, trying to blow the hair out of his face.

"No, I'm fine," Blaine smiled gently, one hand still gripping Kurt's hip while the other reached up and pushed the hair out of Kurt's face for him.

"Thanks," Kurt smiled and Blaine noticed him glancing at his lips for a second.

"No problem," Blaine smiled. He could feel some kind of electricity passing between them. He was certain Kurt felt it too because his gaze kept falling from Blaine's eyes to his mouth and back again. After a few seconds, Kurt, with a small smile still playing on his lips, shifted his body and started to move towards Blaine purposefully. Blaine licked his lips quickly, his heart racing because he was certain that Kurt was about to kiss him and suddenly he felt like a nervous teenager again, worrying about not messing up.

Just as Kurt's lips started to brush against his, they heard the front door being opened and keys being placed down on a table.

"Babe, I'm home!" Liam called as he walked through the apartment. Kurt's body stiffened and he swore, quickly jumping to his feet and rushing over to the other side of the island, away from Blaine who shifted his body so that he was resting on his elbows.

"Are you in he-" Liam said as he stepped into the kitchen. He stopped and looked Kurt up and down in confusion. "What the hell's happened to you?" He giggled.

"Nothing," Kurt cleared his throat, glancing at Blaine. Liam turned around to look at him, only just realising Blaine was there. His smile dropped from his face.

"Blaine." He said, anger behind his eyes.

"I should go and get changed." Kurt said, sheepishly turning and walking out of the kitchen towards their bedroom. Liam followed behind him and grabbed his arm just after closing the door to their room.

"What the fuck?" He said, aggressively pulling Kurt to face him. Kurt stayed silent. "Seriously, Kurt, what the actual fuck? Why the hell are you both covered in food?"

"It's nothing," Kurt sighed, "I was making dinner and we just had a bit of a food fight, that's all."

"So why was Blaine on the floor?" Liam asked.

"He slipped on some butter, I think, as we were running around." Kurt shrugged and pulled some fresh clothes out of his closet. "It was all innocent, I promise." He lied.

"Really?"

"Yes, of course."

"Ok," Liam said through gritted teeth, nodding gently. "So now tell me why Blaine's even here at all? You know how I feel about him…"

"I know." Kurt sighed as he changed his pants. "I also told you that I'm not going to stop hanging out with Blaine just because you're jealous-"

"It doesn't help when I come home to find you both sweaty and covered in food."

"Point taken." Kurt nodded. "He's staying in a hotel this time, anyway."

"Too damn right he's staying in a hotel," Liam crossed his arms and frowned, sitting down on the end of their bed, "smarmy bastard."

"Liam!" Kurt chastised him, "He's my friend!" He removed his shirt, trying desperately to keep the flour wrapped up inside the fabric as he did.

"I'm sorry, baby," Liam said, pouting and pulling Kurt towards him by the hips, "but can you blame me when you look so damn good?" He pressed a kiss to Kurt's stomach. "I just don't want any other man to get his hands on you…" He kissed him again.

"Liam, no, stop it," Kurt said, quietly as Liam pressed another kiss to his stomach. "Blaine's in the other room…"

"I don't care," Liam mumbled as he pulled Kurt closer to him.

"I'm being serious!" Kurt frowned. Liam hummed in acknowledgement as he slowly licked all the way up Kurt's torso. Kurt smiled gently and pushed Liam's hands off of his waist. "No." He said strongly before cupping Liam's face in his hands and quickly pressing a small kiss to the corner of his mouth. "Later." Kurt grabbed the fresh shirt from the bed and quickly put it on, walking out of the room as he finished buttoning it up.

He walked into the kitchen and Blaine, still covered in some flour but less than before, was just finishing cleaning up the kitchen. Blaine looked up as he walked in.

"You didn't have to do that…" Kurt said, looking around the now pristine kitchen, and walking back towards the island.

"It was my fault it was in such a mess," Blaine shrugged. As Kurt walked up next to him, Blaine whispered in his ear, "are you ok?" Kurt nodded as Liam came back into the room.

"Pizza?" Kurt smiled and picked up the phone in question as the other two boys nodded, eyeing each other warily, and letting him dial.


	10. 31st December 2019

**Something seems to be wrong with the email notifications at the moment, as I updated yesterday but don't think a notification got sent out. So, if this one does get sent out, just in case, there's one previous chapter you may not have read - go check before reading on so you don't miss anything :)**

* * *

><p>31st December 2019<p>

Kurt tried his best to wipe away his tears and make himself look presentable. Given how much his mind was buzzing, he was finding it pretty difficult but, seeing as the cab was just about to stop at the party, he knew that he needed to pull himself together pretty quickly.

Blaine had invited him to a New Year's Eve party that was being held by a college friend of his, Jacob. Kurt wasn't going to know anyone else there and, ordinarily, that would've freaked him out but, that day, it made him feel free and empowered. It meant he could really let loose, act however he wanted to act and he didn't have to care because none of these people would ever see him again. He absolutely needed it.

The cab pulled up to the block of apartments and he could already see Blaine standing and waiting for him. He took a deep breath and got out of the cab, hoping that Blaine wouldn't notice he'd been crying. Blaine grinned as he noticed him for a second before his face fell and worry was instantly etched across his forehead.

"Kurt, what's wrong?" Blaine asked, noticing his reddened cheeks immediately.

"Nothing." Kurt mumbled looking to the ground, hoping that by the time he looked back up again, Blaine's worried gaze would have gone. It wasn't and Blaine lightly held his arm, pulling him to one side from the door, into a small alcove, so that other people could get in.

"Don't lie to me, Kurt," Blaine said sternly. "You look awful, what's happened?" Kurt bit his lip and shook his head gently as a few tears fell to the ground.

"L… Liam and I… w…we broke up…" Kurt stuttered across his words, trying to catch his breath from how upset he was. Blaine instantly scooped him up into a tight hug. He managed to keep a hold of the grin that was threatening to appear across his face at the idea of Kurt finally being single again because he needed to be there for him. Although he couldn't deny his joy at the thought, it absolutely broke his heart to see Kurt so upset.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He murmured gently into Kurt's ear.

"No…" Kurt shook his head.

"Do you want me to get you supremely drunk?"

"Yes please." Kurt sniffed gently before pulling away. "Thank you." Blaine wiped the tears off of his face gently with his thumb, grabbed his hand and pulled him into the building, pressing the button for the lift. They stood in silence for a few seconds, just Kurt's sniffs echoing around the foyer, gradually dying down, until the lift came. As they walked in Blaine pressed the button for the penthouse.

"Penthouse?" Kurt said, raising his eyebrows, "I didn't realise your friend's party was in a penthouse, Blaine. I feel better already…" he joked as Blaine smiled at him. He paused before continuing, "I'm sorry I look so awful for meeting your friends, they're probably going to have such a bad first impression of me." Kurt bit his lip as Blaine stepped towards him.

"Look at me for a second," Blaine said. Kurt obediently lifted his head to look at him. "You look great." He smiled.

"No I don't," Kurt mumbled, seeing himself in the elevator mirrors. "My eyes are all puffy and red!"

"Ok," Blaine stepped closer to him and placed his fingers on the tip of Kurt's nose, pressing tightly to make the blood rush to it.

"Ow!" Kurt grumbled as an ache shot through his nose. "What the hell, Blaine?" He rubbed his nose gently and watched in the mirror as it reddened slightly.

"If anyone asks, tell them you've got a cold." Blaine said kindly.

"You're a genius." Kurt smiled.

"I know," Blaine shrugged his shoulders and grinned.

"And so modest too…" Kurt laughed. "Tell me how you're single, again?" He joked before stopping himself. He knew exactly why Blaine was single and he'd known it since they'd seen each other at the Lima Bean years ago. Blaine never really wanted to talk about it with Kurt but, they both knew that he never looked for anything serious in a relationship. In fact, the second any relationship got even the slightest bit more than a fling, Blaine would pull away and break up with them. Kurt had never felt it to be a good idea to delve too deeply into the emotions behind that, assuming that it was something left from the awful breakdown of Blaine's parent's relationship.

"I don't know," Blaine joked, not catching on to Kurt's train of thought.

"So tell me, what happens when it fades?" Kurt said, gesturing to his face. "You're not going to keep pinching my nose all evening to keep the effect there, are you?"

"No," Blaine laughed, "by that time they'll all be too drunk to notice." And he was right. The cold excuse had worked like a charm, even to the point of Kurt and Blaine pretty much being left alone for most of the evening, no-one else wanting to catch Kurt's cold. They were both fine with that, however, because Blaine wasn't sure he wanted to focus on anyone other than Kurt, and Kurt wanted to get hideously drunk without other people getting in his way.

They spent the evening dancing and drinking together, laughing and just enjoying each other's company. Every so often one of them would brush up against the other and, whereas they would normally suddenly move to decrease the contact, this time neither of them did, allowing the feeling of celebration wash over them and making all of the small winks and flirty gestures acceptable.

Blaine could feel himself relaxing around Kurt even more than he normally did, not needing to watch what he said and worry about if he was coming on too strongly. Sure, usually he could joke with Kurt about being attracted to him, and he could tell him he looked good if he was asked for his opinion, or if Kurt needed cheering up but he couldn't just compliment him seriously. He never felt like he could just sit and tell him how beautiful, smart or funny he was. How every time he walked into a room, it was like the contrast had been turned up and how, no matter how hard he tried, Blaine was completely and inexplicably drawn to him in every way possible.

However, that night was different, special. Even if it went wrong, even if Kurt shot him down, he could explain it away by saying he was drunk or that he was just trying to cheer him up. It mean that, when they'd been dancing together, he didn't feel too afraid to pull Kurt closer to him, wrapping his arms around his waist as they shimmied around the room, Kurt's back pressed tightly against Blaine's chest as their hips swayed together in time to the music. He'd taken the opportunity to bury his face into the crook of Kurt's neck, running his nose along it lightly, allowing himself the chance to make Kurt feel, hopefully, good and so, so wanted. So when, at five to midnight, Kurt had wrapped his arms around his neck and told him that he must look like a mess at that moment, Blaine didn't hesitate in telling him that he thought he was stunning.

Kurt paused for a second and pulled back from Blaine, looking him in the eyes. The alcohol in his system buzzed around his body making everything seem electric and glittery. He'd noticed how much Blaine was complimenting him and how much he'd been flirting with him all evening and, in his drunken state, he'd liked it. It was nice getting some male attention and having someone finally say nice things to him. Liam didn't compliment him much at all anymore and their argument earlier had been stupid. It was a stupid break up based around them both being too busy and too stressed but it was still a break up nonetheless.

"Thank you," Kurt said seriously, about the compliment. Blaine blushed gently and rubbed the back of his neck.

"Well, you are."

"I need a rest," Kurt said suddenly because they'd been dancing so hard for most of the evening. "Plus it's almost midnight…" He glanced at the clock and pulled Blaine to the balcony of the apartment to get some fresh air and alone time.

The apartment looked out across Central Park and, as they watched the empty streets below, Kurt rested his head on Blaine's shoulder, taking deep breaths to try and clear his head from the alcohol in his system. He felt Blaine's arm wrap around his waist and press their sides together tightly. Blaine turned his head slightly and kissed the top of Kurt's head.

"I'm so glad you chose to spend tonight with me." He said quietly into Kurt's hair.

"Me too." Kurt smiled before taking another deep breath, his heart pounding. "…Can I tell you a secret?" Kurt asked, quietly.

"Of course," Blaine kissed his head once more.

"I had a huge crush on you in school," he said before laughing gently at how ridiculous it had sounded out loud. He felt Blaine stiffen underneath him and he lifted his head off of his shoulder suddenly feeling incredibly awkward. "I'm sorry," he said, misunderstanding Blaine's reaction and assuming he'd made him feel uncomfortable, as he could hear the countdown for midnight starting in the apartment.

_10, 9,_

"I shouldn't have said anything."

_8, 7,_

Blaine, shocked, turned to look at him directly in the eyes and moved closer, not smiling and shaking his head.

_6, 5,_

He placed his hands on Kurt's hips, leaning towards him so that he could feel Kurt's warm breath on his mouth.

_4, 3,_

"We should go inside," Kurt whispered when their lips were mere millimetres apart.

_2, 1!_

"Ssh," Blaine said before closing the gap between them and kissing Kurt so strongly that he would've fallen backwards if it wasn't for Blaine's hands cradling his back. Kurt breathed in gently, feeling overwhelmed at the feeling of Blaine's lips on his own. This time it wasn't to try and comfort him or as a favour, this time it was a kiss purely driven by lust. Neither of them realised that the other one's lust was years old and neither of them stopped to consider it either as the kiss became more desperately passionate. Blaine's hands slid down Kurt's back and rested on his ass, pulling him in closer as Kurt's arms tightened around his shoulders. Kurt whimpered faintly into Blaine's mouth, a sound which travelled directly to Blaine's cock and made him buck his hips towards Kurt, having to hold back a growl in response. He pushed his tongue into Kurt's mouth, exploring it and massaging Kurt's tongue with his own. Kurt curled his fingers into Blaine's hair, tugging gently and started to suck and nip on Blaine's lower lip causing Blaine to groan loudly. He had to almost physically hold himself back from pushing Kurt up against the wall on the side of the balcony and grinding into him until the sun came up.

He pulled back from the kiss, both of them breathing heavily, and stepped away from Kurt, knowing that if he didn't he wouldn't be able to stop himself ever. They both paused for a few seconds, neither of them sure what to say. Blaine leant against the balcony rail, a shocked smile falling from his lips before he could stop it.

"So…" Blaine broke the silence after a few minutes, once he'd pulled himself together, and managed to will his erection to go away, "do you wanna go back inside and get another drink?"

"No." Kurt said certainly, shaking his head. "…I want to go to your place." Blaine tried frantically to stop himself from grinning like a maniac as the words spilled out of Kurt's mouth.

"Ok." He said breathlessly, not breaking eye contact with Kurt as he grabbed his hand and started to pull him through the penthouse. They quickly rushed out of the apartment, into a cab and straight to his hotel room.

As they reached Blaine's room, Kurt surprised Blaine by quickly spinning him round by the hips and pressing against him, kissing him passionately against the door as Blaine tried to blindly fumble with his key card to let them in. After a few failed attempts, Blaine wrapped his free arm strongly around Kurt's waist and spun them around so that he was facing the door. He pulled away from the kiss to try and get the door unlocked and instantly felt Kurt's lips trailing along his neck, stopping to suck gently on his Adam's apple. Blaine groaned quietly, desperately trying to focus enough to get the door open. Finally the green light flashed to show it was unlocked and Blaine quickly kicked the door open, returning his lips to Kurt's and pushing him through it. He slammed it shut as he passionately shoved Kurt up against the wall, allowing another groan to escape his lips as he roughly sucked Kurt's mouth, strongly gripping Kurt's hips. He'd wanted all of this for so long that it felt like it was 7 years' worth of kissing spilling out onto Kurt's lips all at once, feeling like there was no way he could stop now, no way he could hold back and be gentle.

He growled as he placed his hands on Kurt's ass and lifted him up, letting Kurt wrap his legs around Blaine's waist, and pushing him even tighter up against the wall. Kurt hummed into his mouth, both of them breathing heavily and surrendering to their desire, letting it wash over them. Kurt started nibbling along Blaine's jaw and kissed the spot just under his ear, making him thrust up against him shamelessly and moan loudly. Still holding on to his ass, Blaine carried Kurt further into the hotel room where the bed was as Kurt started to suck on his ear lobe.

He dropped Kurt onto the bed and fell on top of him with a grunt before pushing his tongue into Kurt's ear and pulling his shirt out from his pants, earning him a soft gasp from Kurt that only spurred him on. He moved and started to suck the skin at the bottom of Kurt's neck, where it joined the shoulder and he moved his hands underneath Kurt's shirt and ran them along the warm, soft skin on his stomach.

"Fuck Kurt, want you so bad," Blaine mumbled against Kurt's skin as he couldn't help but roll his hips down into Kurt, practically begging for more friction, for more of everything. He heard Kurt hum gently in response. As he moved his hands along Kurt's torso and his lips along Kurt's neck, something felt strange, different. Kurt gradually became less responsive to his kisses and rough touches, his breathing becoming deeper and more regular. Blaine paused for a second and glanced over to Kurt who had his eyes closed.

"…Kurt?" Blaine whispered gently, his heart still pounding in his chest. Kurt murmured gently in response. "…Are you asleep?" he whispered again.

"'m no' 'sleep…" Kurt mumbled again as his head fell gently to one side. Blaine sighed, letting his head fall in despair onto Kurt's chest. He'd been waiting so long to be this close to Kurt, to be allowed to kiss, touch and hold him, exploring his body and discovering all of the different ways he could turn him on, that he couldn't help but feel incredibly frustrated at having to stop. Of course the first, and possibly only, time he'd get that opportunity, Kurt _would_ fall asleep.

Blaine unsteadily got to his feet, the alcohol and lust coursing through his veins making him uncontrollably dizzy. He practically fell into the bathroom, his erection feeling intensely uncomfortable as it pressed against his zipper. He locked the bathroom door, just in case, quickly undoing his pants and letting them fall around his thighs. He wrapped his hand around his hard cock, leant back against the door and started roughly pumping it, not able to stop thinking of Kurt's hot breath on his neck. After what seemed like hours but was in actual fact only a few minutes, Blaine felt his body tense up tightly. He smacked his head back against the bathroom door as he came hard over his still pumping fist. He quickly shoved his palm into his mouth, stifling the scream that was threatening to spill out of his mouth as he breathed through the intensity of his orgasm.

He cleaned himself off before poking his head out of the bathroom door, hoping that Kurt hadn't heard him. Seeing that Kurt had turned onto his side but was still definitely asleep, Blaine exited the bathroom, crouching down by Kurt's side of the bed and watching him for a few moments before folding over the other side of the duvet to cover and wrap him up. He moved a hair out of Kurt's eyes, and knew that it was undeniable that he was still completely in love with Kurt, now even more than before.

Blaine sighed and laid down on the duvet-less side of the bed, finally letting sleep start to wash over him. He allowed himself another look at Kurt before rolling away from him, not having a clue about what would happen the next day and, really, not caring. Even being able to be close to Kurt like this just for that evening was better than nothing at all; at least that was what he'd continue to convince himself until he fell into a deep, drunken, sleep.


	11. 1st January 2020

1st January 2020

Blaine woke the next morning lying face down into his pillow, feeling the pounding headache in his brain before he even opened his eyes. Other than that he only noticed that he felt a lot warmer than he expected to. He tried to move his arms to cover his head and felt an ache spread across his entire body. He groaned into the pillow and forced his body to turn over, surprisingly feeling himself wrapped up in the duvet that he vaguely remembered covering Kurt in.

He slowly opened one eye, not being able to remember if he'd shut the curtains the night before, so worrying that it would be far too bright for his sleepy head to be able to handle. He winced as he slowly blinked one eye open and noticed that they were closed. He slowly opened his other eye and looked around the room as everything started to come into focus. He couldn't see Kurt anywhere. He sat up and panicked for a few seconds before he could hear mumbling from the en-suite bathroom. Breathing a sigh of relief that the night before hadn't made Kurt just run away and never want to talk to him again, he settled back into the bed, falling asleep again.

He woke up just a few minutes later as he heard Kurt shut the bathroom door. He sat up and smiled at him as a very pale, serious looking, Kurt walked over and sat on the edge of the bed.

"Morning," he said sweetly.

"Morning," Kurt mumbled and handed him a glass of water. Blaine shifted over towards Kurt, taking the glass of water and thanking him. He took a long sip, not taking his eyes off of Kurt, who wasn't looking at him at all, and placed the glass down on the bedside cabinet before leaning forwards and rubbing a hand up and down Kurt's back, squeezing his shoulders gently in turn each time he reached them. Kurt stayed stiff and tense under his hands.

"How are you feeling?" He asked gently, trying to catch Kurt's eyes.

"Dizzy," Kurt laughed gently, "kind of confused." Blaine smiled, knowing how he felt. Blaine shuffled forwards, even closer to Kurt and rested his chin on his shoulder, placing his hands lightly on Kurt's hips.

"Anything I can help with?" Blaine said, running his hands underneath Kurt's shirt and along the small of his back, soothingly. Kurt stayed sitting stiffly underneath Blaine's touch.

"No, thank you." Kurt said primly. Blaine bit his lip. This was agony; not knowing what was going through Kurt's mind was like a special kind of torture. Blaine decided he had to do something, had to take the matter into his own hands, and so slowly lifted his hand to gently turn Kurt's face towards his. He tentatively leant his head forwards to try and brush his lips gently against Kurt's. He was met with a lack of contact, though, as Kurt flinched slightly and pulled away. Blaine felt what he thought must have been his heart caving in the second Kurt did it. He dropped his hands from Kurt completely suddenly feeling like touching him at all would be wrong.

"Sorry," he said, biting his lip again and looking into his lap.

"No, you shouldn't be." Kurt said, clearly upset. "_I'm_ sorry… it's just… ugh, I'm so bad at this…" Kurt put his head in his hands, despairingly.

"It's ok," Blaine said, feeling sorry for him, he was clearly conflicted. He leant forwards and placed his hand on Kurt's back once more. "Talk to me." He said as Kurt turned and gave him a look as if he was asking if that was really what Blaine wanted him to do. "Come on," Blaine said, "I'm your friend first…" Kurt sighed before talking.

"That was Liam on the phone." He said, gesturing towards the en-suite.

"Oh, really?" Blaine said, trying to appear calm when he was really freaking out on the inside.

"He wants us to try again." Kurt bit his lip, avoiding Blaine's gaze.

"What did you say?" Blaine asked, already really knowing the answer.

"I agreed with him." Kurt nodded gently. "We've been together too long and it was too stupid a fight to not at least try… I'm sorry…" He said, letting his head drop to his hands again.

"Hey, no," Blaine said, pulling Kurt into a hug and trying to comfort him. "It's fine, that's the best decision," he said, trying to convince himself of the same thing as his heart raced.

"It's just… we… kissed and… it was… ama-"

"Shh," Blaine said, shaking his head, not being able to bear Kurt continuing to talk about it anymore. "We're friends. You'd had a bad night and we were drunk, it's not an issue, honestly." He gulped quietly. "Don't worry," Blaine smiled as Kurt nodded, finally starting to relax.

"Thanks for understanding." Kurt said.

"It's fine," Blaine faked a smile. "So, uhm, are you hungry or anything… we can order room service?" He asked, changing the subject, as he pulled away from Kurt.

"Uhh… yeah, ok." Kurt said, still a little dazed from the hangover and their conversation. Blaine sighed, almost reading Kurt's mind.

"If you want to leave, it's fine…" he said seriously.

"No, no." Kurt protested, "let's get some breakfast." He pulled out the menu from the bedside cabinet and started to gaze across it as Blaine reached across and placed his hand over Kurt's.

"Seriously, if you want to go and see Liam, I'm fine with it." Blaine said kindly. Kurt placed the menu down onto his lap.

"Really? Because, I don't want to be rude…" Kurt asked hopefully.

"Really, it's fine. Go…" Blaine smiled gently. Kurt leant forwards and gave him a small kiss on the cheek.

"Thank you." He whispered in his ear. "Happy New Year." He said, smiling apologetically before getting up to leave.

"Happy New Year, Kurt," Blaine called after him as he left. The second the door slammed shut, Blaine dropped his head back onto the pillow and rubbed his eyes with his palms. _Fuck_. He thought to himself before flipping over and pressing his face into the pillow and screaming loudly. _Maybe one day, Anderson, you'll stop being such a fucking **pussy**, _he thought to himself as he punched the pillow a few times, _and actually tell Kurt how you really feel for a change._

"You're just too much of a good _fucking_ friend!" He yelled into the pillow, punctuating his cuss with another punch into the pillow before finally, after a few heavy sighs, letting his body relax. It only took a few minutes for him to fall back to sleep, the conversation with Kurt playing on his mind and trying desperately not to think of the make-up sex that Kurt and Liam would probably be having in less than an hour.


	12. 29th March 2020

29th March 2020

"Hello?" Blaine croaked into the cell. He hadn't bothered to check who it was because his head dictated that he just couldn't stand to listen to the ringing long enough to look.

"Blaine?" Kurt's sweet voice came out of the cell far too loud for Blaine to handle and he could only groan back at him. "What's happened to your voice, you sound awful?"

"I'm dying, Kurt," Blaine groaned, causing Kurt to giggle.

"You're not dying, Blaine."

"Yes I am. I'm not long for this world, Kurt…" Blaine sighed dramatically.

"Blaine…"

"Tell my family and friends I loved them…"

"Blaine!" Kurt chastised him.

"Make sure Cooper doesn't get my DVD collection…"

"_Blaine!_"

"Kurt…"

"What are your symptoms?" He asked, caringly.

"Death."

"I'm being serious," Kurt's soft laugh floated out of the cell. That laugh never failed to make Blaine feel good and he automatically felt a little bit brighter than he had five minutes before.

"Sore throat, cold sweats, itchy eyes. I threw up earlier which was gross. You didn't need to know that but it's too late to take it back now…" Blaine groaned again which, oddly, Kurt found adorable.

"Hmm… sounds like flu… What liquids are you having?"

"I don't have any…"

"How do you not have liquids? You can surely get some water?"

"No... hurts too much…" Blaine grumbled.

"Ok, that's it, I'm coming over."

"Kurt…" Blaine pleaded.

"Yes?"

"I'm in Ohio…"

"And?"

"You're in New York…"

"And?"

"What do you mean, and? It's a ten hour drive!"

"Flight's booked!" Kurt said, proudly.

"Wait, Kurt, no…"

"See you in four hours!" Kurt sang, instantly hanging up the phone. Blaine grumbled again, letting his hand fall from his ear and, shortly after, his cell fall from his hand to the ground. He was far too tired and achy to try and call Kurt back and argue with him about how he really didn't have to go to all that trouble. Instead he tried to shift his weak body as much as he could to look at the time (_8am, meaning Kurt will be here by midday_, he thought with as much excitement as he could muster), before closing his eyes and going back to sleep.

Blaine wasn't sure how long he'd been asleep for but he was certain that it must have been a while, or he'd started hallucinating, because the next time he opened his eyes, Kurt was leaning over him looking worried.

"I think you're right," Kurt said gently as he noticed his eyes opening.

"Why?" Blaine croaked.

"Based on how you look, I think death might be one of your symptoms…" He smiled as he placed a hand gently to Blaine's forehead. Blaine tipped his head slightly, trying to gain more pressure from Kurt's hand. It was so soft and warm it made him feel instantly comforted.

"Mean!" Blaine whispered as Kurt's hand moved to his cheek and he changed the direction of his head to nuzzle against it once more.

"You're adorable when you're being pathetic." Kurt pulled the covers up over Blaine's chest slightly.

"'m not pathetic, 'm ill." Blaine pouted.

"You are really sick." Kurt frowned.

"How did you get in anyway?" Blaine asked, "Did you break in, Kurt? You vandal…"

"No," Kurt giggled, "but I recommend you finding a better, and less cliché, hiding spot for your spare key than under the doormat."

"But how else will I get good looking boys to come in and look after me when I'm ill?" Blaine raised his eyebrows and fluttered his eyelashes at Kurt who giggled again.

"You need to drink something." Kurt said tenderly, handing him a glass already filled with some juice that he found in Blaine's fridge.

"No… hurts…" Blaine said, turning over and trying to press his face into the pillow.

"Come on, drink please." Kurt said, as sternly as he could manage when Blaine was acting just so adorably. "I'll let you pick a movie for us to watch…" He said when Blaine didn't move.

"Even The Lion King?" Blaine's muffled voice called out from the pillow.

"How old are you again?" Kurt laughed, narrowing his eyes slightly.

"Answer the question, Kurt." Blaine said, seriously, lifting his head ever so slightly.

"Fine, even The Lion King." As soon as Kurt agreed, Blaine reached out for the drink. Thankfully Kurt had thought to put a straw in it so, not moving, Blaine was able to hold the straw to his lips and spent a few minutes just drinking both enjoying and hating the way the liquid felt as it moved down his sore throat.

"Movie." He croaked out, demandingly, as soon as he was finished and Kurt, obediently, grabbed the DVD and placed it into the player at the end of Blaine's bed. Blaine slowly rolled onto his back, making room for Kurt on the bed, who sat purposefully on top of the covers, still feeling a little bit nervous about physical contact with Blaine after the fiasco at New Year. Blaine looked up at him from under the covers as the movie started to play and blinked innocently a few times.

"I'd like to be cuddled, please." He asked sweetly and simply. He wasn't thinking of anything other than the fact that he felt incredibly ill and needed to feel someone's arms around him, comforting him. Kurt paused for a few seconds before rolling his eyes as if to say, _oh alright then_. He climbed under the covers and pulled Blaine close to him, guiding his head so that it was resting on Kurt's chest. "Is… is this ok?" Blaine asked, hooking his legs around Kurt's and glancing up at him with doe eyes.

"Hakuna Matata, Blaine, Hakuna Matata…" Kurt grinned.

"I don't think that's the right context for that phrase…" Blaine said, _very_ seriously.

"You know what I mean."

"I will thank you not to take the wise words of Timon and Pumbaa in vain, Kurt." Blaine frowned and Kurt chuckled as Blaine turned back to watch the movie and it wasn't long until they both drifted off to sleep, Kurt's head resting gently on Blaine's.

Blaine started stirring as the credits were rolling and noticed that Kurt had gotten up. He turned over slowly and could see him standing by Blaine's computer desk, with his back turned, having what sounded like a very heated conversation on his cell, but trying to do it in a hushed tone.

"I know, Liam, and I said I was sorry but Blaine's ill and I want to be there for him... How is that fucked up?" He said, pausing to listen to the voice on the other end of the cell. "I don't see how the fact that I flew here would make any difference at all... Oh my god, Liam, I can't believe you'd throw that in my face again! I already told you the kiss didn't mean anything..." Kurt sighed heavily, clearly losing patience. "How many times do we have to go over this, Liam? Yes, Blaine and I kissed, no that doesn't mean I'm in _love_ with him..." Blaine could just about make out the angry murmurs from the other end of the line but couldn't hear the exact words they were saying, although he could make a pretty certain guess based on Kurt's side of the conversation. "That's not fair; you can't ask that of me..." Kurt pleaded. "Look, we're supposed to be working this out but we can't do that unless you stop punishing me for this!" Kurt threw his hands up in the air as he spoke. "I'm not going to stop being his friend, Liam, it's just not going to happen..." Kurt sighed. "I've got to go, we'll talk about this when I get back... I don't know, when he's better. Probably tomorrow but it really depends on how Blaine's feeling... Ok... Bye."

Kurt dropped his cell heavily onto the desk and leant against it, his muscles tensing as he did. He dropped his chin to his chest and sighed heavily before turning around to walk back and jumping slightly when he saw that Blaine was awake.

"I didn't wake you, did I?" Kurt asked as he walked over and sat on the edge of Blaine's bed.

"No." Blaine shook his head gently. "Was that Liam?" Blaine asked, sheepishly.

"Yeah." Kurt nodded.

"Everything ok?"

"Not really but, I'm not here to talk about him, I'm here to make sure you," he lightly touched the end of Blaine's nose fondly, "get better."

"You shouldn't do that if it's going to risk your relationship," Blaine said, seriously. He moved his hand out from under the duvet, reached out and placed it over Kurt's, his thumb softly rubbing over Kurt's knuckles. "I'm really not worth it…" Blaine bit his lip.

"Don't be stupid," Kurt reprimanded him, flipping his hand over so that they were palm to palm and gripping Blaine's hand tightly. "Anyone who wants to have relationship with me has to be ok with us being friends, or it just won't work." He said, running his fingers up and down Blaine's palm thoughtfully.

"You told him about the kiss." Blaine said directly.

"I had to," Kurt nodded, "it wouldn't have been fair otherwise and, I want to try and make it work with him. Or at least have a good go of it. I couldn't do that unless I told him the truth." Blaine nodded, understanding and they fell into silence for a few minutes, playing with each other's hands softly, running fingers along the lines of each other's palms and, every so often, tangling their fingers together and untangling again. "How are you feeling, anyway?" Kurt asked, placing his hand on Blaine's forehead to check his temperature. Blaine shut his eyes as Kurt's hand rested on his head for a few seconds.

"Rough," he said, feeling too much heat and itchiness behind his eyes that made him not want to open them.

"You still look ill." Kurt said. "Are you hungry?" Blaine shook his head.

"I think I just need more sleep," He said, stifling a yawn. Kurt agreed with him and allowed himself to be pulled back into the bed, this time tangling his legs around Blaine's. He wrapped his arms around Blaine's shoulders, moving slightly so Blaine could wrap his arms around Kurt's waist and pulled him close. Blaine nuzzled his shoulder, taking in Kurt's smell and humming gently as he got comfortable.

"Blaine…" Kurt said, just before Blaine dropped off to sleep.

"Yeah?"

"The whole thing that you were saying about risking my relationship for you…"

"Yeah?"

"I want you… I want you to… know…" Kurt stumbled over his words. "…Don't… don't ever think you're not worth it." He said, tilting his head slightly to look at Blaine, "You are so, _so_ precious to me… There's no way anyone would ever stop me being friends with you… ever…" Blaine heard Kurt swallow heavily as he finished his sentence. He shifted his body so that he could pull Kurt closer to him, tipped his head up and kissed him gently just underneath his ear. Kurt hummed and smiled as he did.

"Thank you," Blaine whispered before letting his head rest on Kurt's shoulder again and drifting off as Kurt settled down too. Kurt wasn't certain of how his and Liam's conversation would go once he got back home, or even how this could affect their relationship in the long term but, right at that moment, holding Blaine in his arms, he couldn't have cared less.


	13. 18th August 2020

18th August 2020

**From Kurt:**

Can you call me when you get this please? K x

Blaine stared down at the text. This was very unlike Kurt. He'd usually either be the one to call and just leave a message or he'd text whatever he wanted to say. Blaine could tell it meant something was wrong. To be fair, it was the middle of a working day but that usually didn't stop Kurt.

Blaine got up and slowly walked around his desk, closing the blinds that looked out from his office across the open plan floor next to him, before sitting down to call Kurt. He always hated the thought that someone might see him on the phone to Kurt. Not that it was a rule, he was in charge of that office and he was a fairly easy going boss. However, he definitely didn't want anyone seeing the goofy grin that he knew he always had on his face whenever he spoke to Kurt because he knew that it definitely wouldn't have been conducive to keeping himself as an authority figure in the other worker's minds.

He dialled Kurt's number and it only rang once before Kurt picked up, and said hello with an oddly calm tone to his voice.

"You didn't have to call me immediately, Blaine." Kurt said.

"Yes I did, what's up?" Blaine rolled his eyes. He always responded immediately. It didn't matter what he was doing or where he was going he would always, _always_ respond immediately to Kurt.

"I need to ask you the biggest favour I have ever asked you…"

"I'll do it." Blaine said abruptly.

"You don't know what it is yet!" Kurt laughed at his friend's constant willingness to be there for him.

"Do I need to know?"

"It's a huge favour."

"Ok, what is it?" Kurt paused before speaking.

"…Do you think you'd be able to get the day off work tomorrow?"

"Sure, why?"

"I need you to come to New York and help me move…"

"Can't Liam do that?" Blaine laughed down the phone, thinking that it was a ridiculous thing for Kurt to ask him to do when he had a perfectly good boyfriend to do that for him.

"Well," Kurt started, "I think considering I just broke up with him and that's the reason I'm moving, I don't think he'd be too up for that," Kurt laughed humourlessly.

"Wait, what… really?" Blaine almost dropped the phone in shock. "Kurt… are you ok? You seem to be taking this pretty well for someone who's just ended a 3 year relationship…"

"I mean… it hasn't been working for a while now… you know that…" Kurt sighed into the cell. It wasn't like he wasn't devastated that they'd failed and were splitting up but, he'd cried so many tears over every argument they had that this day had become inevitable, something in the distance that he knew they'd get to but wouldn't know how far they had to go before getting there.

However, he hadn't expected Liam to get as angry as he had. When he'd sat down to talk to him about it earlier that morning, he really didn't think that he'd get a plate thrown at him (which, thankfully, he ducked out of the way of just in time). He certainly didn't expect Liam to give him just 24 hours to move out of their apartment. He'd hoped they'd be able to act like grown-ups about this and at least deal with things amicably. Although, Liam's reaction had cemented his decision further into his mind, making him realise that it was the right thing he was doing.

"Shit…" Blaine said, still in shock.

"I know it's a big ask-"

"No, it's fine, I'll do it." Blaine said, seriously. "Where are you going to move to?"

"Uhm, well, I don't know yet," Kurt laughed again. "But I'll work it out."

"Come and live with me!" Blaine said, suddenly, the words just spilling out of his mouth.

"Blaine…" Kurt sighed. How was it that, in the back of his mind, he'd expected that to happen?

"Come on, you know I've got space!"

"No, Blaine, I can't. You know I've got to stay in New York for my job." Kurt said as politely as possible. "Plus, considering Liam's opinion of you and _our_ friendship, I don't think it'd be too appropriate for me to move out of his and into yours…. Thank you though."

"Ok, well, the offer's always there," Blaine shrugged his shoulders.

"I know." Kurt said quietly. "Will I see you tomorrow then?"

"Of course." Blaine said earnestly. "Call me later tonight when you know what time and where, ok?"

"Ok," Kurt said before hanging up the phone.

Blaine sat at his desk for a few minutes staring at his cell. He thought about his various options at the time. He could tell Kurt he was in love with him and risk the fact that this might be another temporary break up and could result in the complete breakdown of their friendship, something which he knew for certain he couldn't handle at all. He could also just be there as a friend for Kurt and help him through this, hoping that Kurt doesn't rebound too quickly, therefore not giving him a chance to eventually tell him he loves him before he gets into another relationship. Of course he was going to be the supportive friend, he always was. Every conversation they had about how they felt about each other was always based on their friendship. Kurt had told Blaine he loved him a hundred times over but, it was always referring to a platonic love that he held and that was where the problem lied. There was no way Blaine would risk their relationship without knowing for almost certain that Kurt loved him just as much as he loved Kurt, something which he greatly doubted was the case.

That evening, Kurt called to arrange the details of the next day the way he said he would.

"How are you feeling now?" Blaine asked after he'd got all of the details he needed.

"Tired." Kurt laughed gently.

"Do you mind if I tell you I'm proud of you?" Blaine asked tentatively. "It's a really brave thing you've done…"

"I'm not sure if I'd class myself as being very brave…"

"You are!" Blaine insisted. "Too many people stay in bad relationships because it's easier. You're taking things into your own hands and that's brave!"

"Thanks."

"So does this mean I get to see single and ready to mingle Kurt?" Blaine said, teasingly, "Because I haven't met him before, does he need a wingman?" Kurt giggled.

"If you do meet him, it won't be for a long time. I think I'm better off staying single for a while after all this drama with Liam." Blaine heart sank. Even if he was thinking of telling Kurt how he felt before, there'd be no point doing it now, if Kurt wanted to be single. Blaine heard Kurt yawn into the cell.

"You must be shattered." Blaine said, concerned.

"I'm fine," Kurt yawned again.

"Go to sleep, Kurt," Blaine chuckled. "I'll see you tomorrow, ok?"

"Ok."

"Night Kurt."

"Night."

Blaine hung up the phone, exhausted himself and, once he got into bed, fell asleep almost immediately, which was good because, having to get a plane to New York the next day meant that he had to get up quite early if he wanted to be there for most of the day.

Thankfully, the flight had been fairly easy and Blaine had made good time, getting to Kurt just after one the next day and meeting him at his new apartment so that he could put his overnight bag there before starting to move Kurt's things.

He walked up the steps of the townhouse that Kurt had texted him the address to and knocked on the door. A handsome blonde man in a polo shirt answered, unexpectedly.

"Oh, hi," Blaine raised his eyebrows, in surprise. "I… uh… I think I might be at the wrong address." He smiled.

"Blaine!" Kurt, hearing Blaine's voice at the door, called to him, running through the house and hugging him tightly when he got to the door. "Thank you so much for coming."

"No problem," Blaine smiled, cautiously looking over at the other guy who was standing watching them.

"Oh, Blaine, this is Lucas," Kurt gestured towards the blonde man, "he's a friend of mine from college. He's gonna help me move and said I could stay with him until I find a place of my own."

"Awesome," Blaine said, happy for Kurt and hoping desperately that Lucas was straight, or taken, or anything that would mean he wouldn't be trying to hit on Kurt all the time. Kurt took Blaine's overnight bag from him and placed it down in the hallway.

"I know you've only just got here," he said apologetically, "but, if we want to move everything before Liam gets home from work, which I really, really do, we kind of need to go now." Blaine agreed and they set off for Kurt's old apartment.

A few hours later, all of them had their sleeves rolled up as they tried to manoeuvre Kurt's dressing table down the stairs from his old apartment. They'd managed to move most of the stuff into the moving van by now, only the table and a few smaller bits left until they were done. It hadn't helped, though, that Kurt had been so distracted by how sweaty Blaine was getting. He nearly dropped the table when he'd glanced over to Blaine and noticed a small bead of sweat running down his neck and into his shirt. He'd stared for a second too long and lost his grip almost, having Blaine and Lucas taking all of the weight for a moment.

"Sorry, sorry!" He said, quickly grabbing hold of his end of the table again and trying to guide it down the stairs. They finally reached the ground floor and placed the table into the moving van, all of them trying to catch their breath from both the heavy lifting and how hot the weather was that day.

As they started to head back into the building, Lucas grabbed Kurt's elbow, letting Blaine go up ahead.

"Can I ask you something, Kurt?" He said, a grin playing on his lips.

"Yeah?"

"Is Blaine single?" He said quietly as they followed Blaine up the stairs. Kurt's blood rushed inexplicably in his ears a little bit at the question.

"Uhm… yeah, sort of, why?" He said, attempting to be nonchalant.

"Just wondering," Lucas said, mysteriously. "What do you mean sort of?"

"He's not exactly the commitment type," Kurt laughed.

"Love 'em and leave 'em, huh?"

"No, not really but he won't get into anything super serious. Why?" Kurt persisted.

"Nothing," Lucas shrugged, "I just think he's hot." Kurt paused on the stairs for a second, staring at him. His heart raced in his chest as his friend gazed lustfully up the stairs at Blaine's back for a second.

"Really?"

"Well, yeah!" Lucas nodded eagerly, "I mean, look at that ass!" He gestured to where Blaine was walking up the stairs ahead of them before turning and staring at it.

"Yeah, you can put your tongue away now, Lucas," Kurt said, feeling a small amount of jealousy rising in the pit of his stomach. "I don't think drooling is a turn on…"

"Come on Kurt, don't you just want to press him into a mattress and _fuck_ him until it's raw?" He growled slightly as he continued to watch Blaine walk up the stairs.

"Lucas!" Kurt's eyes widened in shock. "He is my _best_ friend! I've known him since he was a 16 year old virgin… I'd really appreciate it if you didn't talk about him like that!" Lucas watched Kurt, as he tried to admonish him in hushed tones, with a twinkle in his eye.

"It doesn't matter anyway, I think he's spoken for…"

"What?" Kurt said, confused as to how Lucas would know something like that. Not only that but something that he didn't know about Blaine too. He felt his heart race even faster. "Why? Who? What've you heard?" Lucas tipped his head back and laughed heartily.

"Oh my _god_, you're completely oblivious aren't you?"

"To what?" Kurt frowned at Lucas, who simply laughed again, shaking his head and continued to walk up the stairs.

"Lucas, wait!" Kurt chased after him and grabbed the bottom of his shirt, pulling him back towards him. "Will you tell me what's so funny?" He said, frustrated at how obnoxious Lucas was being. Lucas rolled his eyes and turned around. He placed his hands on the railings either side of the staircase and leant in to Kurt purposefully, looking him directly in the eyes.

"I tell you what," he said carefully, "why don't you tell me when you're over Blaine, and then I'll know that I can make a move, ok, Munchkin?" He patted Kurt on the shoulder before turning away from him again.

"What on earth are you talking about?" Kurt grinned, disbelievingly, as Lucas turned back to him.

"Oh come on, Kurt. You know…" He said, exasperated. "_Tell_ me you know!" Kurt shook his head. "You're in love with Blaine!" Kurt stood for a few seconds, the blood rushing to his ears. He opened and closed his mouth a few times, trying to find the words that he needed but finding it impossible. He shook his head rapidly, bringing himself back to reality.

"No, no, I'm not, that's ridiculous!" He said, still shaking his head. "You don't know what you're talking about!"

"Kurt, I've known you for, what? 8 years? I've listened to you talk about Blaine endlessly for those 8 years. Even the years when you weren't in touch, he would always be there, part of the conversation. I've only just met him and I know him better than his parents probably do!"

"Then you would know that I love Blaine, but not like that. You'd know that I love him as a friend and nothing more!" Kurt swiped his arms to punctuate what he was saying.

"Come on, Kurt. It's because of all those things that I _know_ you're in love with him, not just as a friend! I've seen you go through all of these feelings for him, even when you were with Liam-"

"Well, then!" Kurt interrupted, suddenly feeling his blood boil. "You'd know that a big reason why we split up is because he kept saying all of this bullshit about me being in love with Blaine!"

"Maybe he had a point." Lucas shrugged.

"No." Kurt said, sternly. "What I feel for Blaine… it… it's not _love, _love! I mean, of course I _love _him but, just platonically. He's one of my oldest friends, how could I not love him? But I don't think I'm _in _love with him."

"There it is!" Lucas gestured towards Kurt, as if he'd just proved his point. "You don't _think_ you're in love with him?"

"I… I mean…" Kurt stammered and spun around, sitting down on the steps. "I've never been in love before so I don't know… I used to say that I was in love with him when we were at school but, I was a kid…. I couldn't possibly have been right?" Kurt played with his fingers for a few seconds, taking in everything Lucas had said. "… Blaine doesn't love me." He said, certainly.

"Sorry?"

"He doesn't love me so how I may or may not feel is irrelevant anyway, any feelings I could possibly have for him would be entirely unrequited. So, please, you have my permission, go for it!" Lucas sighed and sat down next to Kurt.

"He does." He nudged Kurt gently.

"Shut up." Kurt shook his head.

"I'm serious. You can tell just by the way he looks at you... he adores you!"

"No."

"How do you know anyway?"

"I told him…" Kurt sighed, "He wanted to serenade someone for Valentine's Day when we were at Dalton together and I thought it was me. I told him and he said that he didn't want to ruin anything between us. I'm sure there was something about him really caring for me but not wanting to lose the friendship or something similar in there too." Lucas laughed again.

"So you're basing your opinion on whether or not he loves you on something that happened nearly ten years ago? That's ridiculous, Kurt!"

"Hey, guys!" Blaine suddenly called down the stairwell, his head poking over the edge. "Are either of you actually gonna come up here and do some work, or am I gonna have to do it all?"

"Yeah, we're coming, just a minute!" Kurt called back to him. He grinned and saluted at them before heading back into the apartment. "I've got too much on my plate at the moment with this Liam stuff to even start thinking about that. Plus, he's my best friend. Right now, that's too important for me to risk for feelings I don't even know if I have."

"It wouldn't be a risk," Lucas grasped Kurt's arm supportively.

"It will always be a risk," Kurt replied.

"Well, if it helps, I won't fuck him until I'm certain there's no chance between the two of you." Lucas grinned as he spoke. Kurt rolled his eyes.

"Thanks, Luc, how _kind_ of you." Kurt smiled and got to his feet. "We'd best head up." He said before starting to climb the staircase again to finish moving, finding all kinds of thoughts, which would be present for the rest of the day, swimming in Kurt's mind, unwaveringly.


	14. 23rd August 2020

23rd August 2020

"You can do this." Blaine grasped Kurt's hands tightly. "I will be right here so nothing bad's gonna happen, ok?" Kurt nodded and bit his lip, looking down at the key he held in his hand before looking up again at the apartment block.

It was so odd to him that a week ago, he called this home and now he stood about to hand his key back to Liam, signifying the definite end of their relationship, for good. He walked over to the intercom, his heart racing, leaving Blaine, who'd decided he'd be there but would keep his distance unless Kurt needed him, where he was. Kurt pressed the button for the apartment and almost backed out when he heard Liam's gruff voice boom out from it. He still had a chance to get out of this, to not face him.

"Hello?" Liam repeated when Kurt didn't answer him.

"Liam, it's Kurt." He said, trying to give his voice strength so that Liam wouldn't be able to tell how nervous he was. Liam stayed silent. "Uhm… I… I have your key?" Kurt said, cursing himself for letting his voice falter slightly.

"Right." Liam replied simply before the intercom clicked to show that he'd turned it off. A few minutes later, Liam stepped out of the door, a sulky look on his face and his arms crossed.

"Hi." Kurt tried to half smile to show that he didn't hold any hard feelings.

"Hi." Liam didn't attempt to do the same.

"How are you?" Kurt asked quietly.

"Fine. Can we get this over with, I've got things to do?" Liam said, grumpily, rolling his eyes and huffing overtly.

"Right… Yes… Here's your key then." Kurt said as he handed over the small object that was now warm from where he'd been grasping it so tightly.

"Thanks." Liam said and they stood for a few moments in awkward silence. "Was there anything else?"

"Uhm… yes, I should… I should probably give you my address so that you can forward any of my mail that turns up here. Plus if I've left anything behind you can post it to me?" Liam glared at him as he spoke. Kurt cleared his throat, feeling very nervous under his stare. He pulled out the piece of paper he had in his pocket where he'd already written his new address and handed it to Liam. "I'm staying with Lucas for now but I'll be moving soon, once I've found my own place. Lucas has said that he's fine if you just keep sending anything there once I've moved, though." Liam let out a bitter laugh.

"Afraid to let me have your permanent address, Kurt?" He said mockingly.

"No," Kurt insisted, "I just think it's better if we don't have the option to contact each other. Look, believe it or not, I'm really sorry for how things have turned out."

"I'm not." Liam said quickly. Kurt sighed because he'd been like this so much recently that he was both used to it and over it at the same time.

"I've got to go." He said, shaking his head before spinning on his heels and starting to walk away. As he walked over to Blaine, who'd only been able to catch a few snippets of the conversation from where he stood, Liam's focus changed to see who Kurt was walking towards. His face morphed instantly from sulky to furious in a split second as he spotted Blaine standing there, waiting for Kurt.

"Blaine Fucking Anderson!" Liam yelled, an almost sick laugh escaping his lips as he stepped out of the doorway of the building, taking a few steps towards them. "Of fucking _course_! How could I have been so stupid?" Liam called over to them, making Kurt spin back around. "So how long did you wait before fucking him, Blaine? A day? A week? Or are there a few amendments to that fucking_ lovely_ New Year's story that I should know about?"

"Shut _up_ Liam!" Kurt yelled back at him, losing his temper. "This is why we broke up! Not because of Blaine but because of your _stupid_ jealousy!"

"Come on, Kurt. Everyone knows how you feel about each other and now, there you both are, _together_, making me look like a fucking idiot, again!"

"We're not together, Liam, how many _times_?"

"Then why the fuck is he here?" Liam took a few more steps towards them, flinging his arms wildly.

"Go back inside, Liam," Blaine chipped in, tired of how he was talking to Kurt, "you're making yourself look like a fool!" Kurt spun round to face him and placed a hand on his chest, unconsciously holding him back.

"Shh, Blaine, you're going to make it worse," he said in a hushed tone, shaking his head and gazing at him.

"You know, I wish that plate _had_ hit you Kurt," Liam called out to them again, "maybe it would've knocked some sense into that asshole brain of yours. Perhaps I should try harder next time?" Kurt froze as soon as the words left Liam's mouth. It wasn't the threat that had shaken him to his core, but the fact that he knew he hadn't told Blaine about what Liam had tried to do when he broke up with him. He hadn't told him for a very good reason too. As his hand stayed on his chest, Kurt felt Blaine's breathing growing heavier by the second. He glanced at Blaine's face and saw that he'd clenched his jaw and was staring at Liam with a fire in his eyes that he hadn't seen before.

"Kurt." Blaine said, moving his gaze towards him, trying, for Kurt's sake, to stay as calm as possible. "Did he try and hurt you?"

"He threw a plate." Kurt said, under his breath. "It's not a big deal."

"It's not a big deal?" Blaine hissed back at him. "How can you say that?"

"He missed, so it was nothing." Kurt said, hoping Blaine was realising that he really should be leaving it alone. "Come on, please let's go. He's not worth it." Kurt said, grabbing Blaine's arm. Blaine stood his ground for a few seconds, glaring at Liam, before nodding and letting Kurt start to drag him away.

"Whore!" Liam yelled after them. Blaine stopped instantly on the spot, laughing humourlessly to himself, before spinning around, a determined look on his face.

"One second," he said to Kurt and, before Kurt could stop him, he started walking purposefully towards Liam. Kurt could see his arm retract before Blaine even reached Liam and with one, swift movement, he punched him hard in the face, yelling as pain shot through his fist. Liam collapsed to the ground holding his cheek where Blaine's fist had connected. "_That_," Blaine said, reaching down to grab Liam's shirt and tugging him towards his face so that he knew he was listening, "is for not spending every fucking second of your day, trying to make him happy like you fucking should've done, you miserable asshole!" He spoke through gritted teeth before pushing Liam back onto the ground. Blaine, frowning, strode away, placing his hand on Kurt's lower back and guiding him away as he did.

"Let's go," he said, seriously, not looking at Kurt, who was gazing over his shoulder to see that, thankfully, Liam was standing up, as Blaine steered him away from the block of apartments. They got into Kurt's car and started driving away in silence, Blaine clasping his bruised hand in the other one the whole way back to the house.

"That was a really stupid thing you just did," Kurt said, finally breaking the silence a few minutes before they got to his home.

"I don't care, he deserved it." Blaine mumbled, still angry.

"He could sue you…"

"Let him!" Blaine said seriously. "I will never stop defending you against assholes like that." And with that they fell into silence again.

As soon as they got back, Kurt guided Blaine to the kitchen and led him to one of the stools, pushing his shoulders gently to get him to sit down. He walked over to the freezer with a towel and filled it with ice, returning quickly and taking Blaine's hand in his own. Kurt ran his thumb along the side of his hand to soothe him as Blaine winced and hissed slightly when he pressed the icepack to his knuckles. After a few minutes of silence, Lucas walked in, spotting them and walking over to the fridge to get some juice.

"What the hell happened to you?" He said to Blaine, as he poured himself a drink and quickly knocked it back.

"He punched Liam." Kurt said, with a straight face.

"Yes!" Lucas' face lit up. "It's about time!" He held his hand up for Blaine, who was trying to stifle a laugh, to high five.

"Uh, no!" Kurt said grumpily, pulling Lucas' hand down. "Don't encourage him, please!"

"Kurt, come on, the dude _totally_ deserved it!"

"Maybe…" Kurt mumbled, returning to tend to Blaine's hand.

"Yes!" Lucas repeated as he started to back out of the door. Kurt glanced up, just as he was leaving, to see Lucas waving to him, behind Blaine's back. _He… loves… you!_ Lucas signed as he grinned cheekily and left the room. Kurt sighed and shook his head, trying to ignore his friend and the way that Blaine was looking at him at that exact moment, simultaneously.


	15. 22nd April 2021

22nd April 2021

"Blaine!" Kurt yelled excitedly into the cell the second that Blaine picked up.

"Kurt?" Blaine laughed.

"New York or Ohio?"

"I'm sorry, what?

"Are you in New York or Ohio, Blaine?" Kurt said, almost exasperated at having to repeat the question.

"New York, why?" Kurt cheered the second Blaine had said it.

"Because I got the promotion." Blaine paused for a second, taking in what he'd just heard.

"The promotion?" He said, shocked. "_The_ promotion?"

"Yup!" Blaine could tell he was beaming as he spoke.

"Oh my god, Kurt, that's amazing! I'm totally sending you hugs down the phone right now!"

"Thanks, Blaine."

"So, what should I call you, now? Sir? Lord?"

"Senior designer will do." Kurt laughed. He'd only gotten the news a few minutes before and knew that he absolutely had to call Blaine first, before anyone. "So you're coming to celebrate with me tonight, right?"

"Of course! Just text me when and where and I will be there."

"Excellent." Kurt said, preparing to hang the phone up.

"Kurt?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm really proud of you."

"Thanks Blaine," Kurt giggled before finishing the call. Now he had to just call everyone else he knew and he could actually get back on with his work.

That evening, Blaine had met up with Kurt as he'd been told and they'd gone to a local gay club, Peacocks. After they'd gotten there, and had a few shots almost immediately, everything had seemed to go by in a flash. All Kurt could remember from it was all of the drinking, the flashing lights from the club as they gradually got sweatier, practically dancing their asses off, and Blaine. Blaine had looked so good that evening and was so proud of Kurt, focussing solely on him and celebrating with him. It didn't matter how many guys had come along and tried to hit on Blaine, and there'd been a lot, he would swiftly brush them off and focus back on Kurt again. Kurt's heart had beaten in time with the music, giving him a heady rush that made him move closer to Blaine as the evening went on.

They'd spent the last part of the evening with their arms wrapped around each other, their inhibitions falling away more than they normally would. Although, every so often, Blaine would purposefully move away from Kurt. This was mostly because, Kurt looked so good that evening, and smelt so incredibly, it had gotten to a point where Blaine, who admittedly hadn't been with someone in a longer time than he would've liked, found himself finding it increasingly difficult to hold back. The atmosphere in the club was coursing through his veins, his head fuzzy and telling him lies, making excuses as to why it was ok for him to rub up against Kurt the way that he was, especially because, in his mind, Kurt had been rubbing up against him too. Blaine was certain at one point, when Kurt had pressed his back into Blaine's chest, that Kurt had rolled his ass into him and was grinding up against him. He knew it wasn't really true so, as he'd looked down at the bare skin on Kurt's neck that had been showing and, finding himself desperately wanting to reach down and bite it, he'd decided it was best to step away from a few moments. He told himself that he was just horny and that, that was the reason he couldn't control the thoughts that usually he was able to push to the back of his mind. Little did he know that the same thoughts were playing through Kurt's mind too at that moment and, every time he took a step back so their bodies weren't in as close contact, Kurt stepped back also, pressing himself up against Blaine's chest again.

As the last song of the evening, played out in the club, Kurt draped himself over Blaine, shimmying against him, lost in his eyes. There had been a couple of times throughout the night when he'd seriously considered just leaning over and kissing Blaine, but had held himself back. This was another one of those moments. The lights flashed on in the club, meaning that it was closing for the night, and Kurt was brought back to reality. He stepped back from Blaine slightly, both of them grinning from how worn out but still awake they were.

"Shall we head to mine?" Kurt said roughly. Blaine nodded and let himself be led out of the club and into a cab.

"I haven't been to your new place, yet. This is exciting!" Blaine had said along the way. Kurt smiled at how optimistic he was. Once they'd arrived at his new apartment, Blaine looked around, which hadn't taken long because it was so small, and complimented Kurt on it.

"You're too kind," Kurt laughed as Blaine did too. "No, really, you're too kind, this place is awful…"

"No, it's great Kurt, honestly."

"Thanks, it's certainly going to do for now. Drink?" Kurt gestured to the kitchen.

"Just water please." Kurt disappeared for a few seconds, reappearing with two glasses of water. "I don't get how I'm so awake after all that dancing," Blaine laughed as they sipped at their separate glasses of water, starting to feel themselves sober up slightly.

"I know, me too, it's crazy."

"Did you want to watch a movie then, if we're both really awake?" Kurt agreed and dug out his copy of "When Harry Met Sally" declaring that, as he got a promotion, he should absolutely be allowed to pick. He put the DVD on and settled onto the couch with Blaine, who'd grabbed a blanket that had been lying around, covering them both in it before resting his head on Kurt's shoulder.

It was difficult for Blaine to pay attention to the movie, what with being this close to Kurt. He glanced over at Kurt's toned torso out of the corner of his eye and breathed in his smell, making him feel lightheaded. His heart beat faster as he thought about what it would be like to run his tongue along Kurt's chest and that was when his body started taking over from his mind.

"Kurt?" He said softly.

"Yeah?"

"Do you think friends could sleep together and still have a good friendship?" Kurt paused. Why was Blaine asking him that? Kurt shifted in his seat slightly causing Blaine to move and look up at him.

"Uhm… maybe… I guess it depends on the friends."

"Friends like us?" Kurt tried to hold back a laugh. He paused the film and turned to look at Blaine, trying to work out what was going through his mind.

"I'm not sure… maybe… what's brought this on, Blaine?"

"I don't know," Blaine shrugged, turning back to the TV, "I was just wondering… just thinking aloud." He grinned at Kurt and took the controller from him, pressing play on the DVD again. Kurt continued looking, bemusedly, at Blaine for a few seconds before slowly turning back and watching the movie. It was really strange to him why Blaine would suddenly ask questions like that and he felt the air change. It felt prickly, like something was going unsaid and, a few moments later, Blaine paused the movie again to speak.

"Have you ever thought about it?" He said, feeling brave.

"Thought about what?"

"Sleeping together?" Kurt's heart leapt into his throat. He was certain he must have been dreaming as he gazed into Blaine's curious eyes but thought it best to not actively pinch himself to check. He exhaled sharply, trying to work out a way of possibly answering that question without sounding like he'd been spending all of his time thinking about it.

"I mean… I guess… maybe once or twice." He said, stuttering. "Purely out of curiosity, though. I was mostly just wondering what the boys you've been with have to put up with." Kurt grinned, covering his tracks.

"So why haven't we?" Blaine, as he sat up, said, lustfully, before he could stop himself. He cursed his mouth for not holding back on saying what his mind was thinking that evening but, due to the sleeping around he did, he wasn't too scared to do it. Sex was what he did to show affection and he had ten years' worth of affection for Kurt. It wasn't something that he got anywhere near as much anxiety from suggesting as he did over even thinking about telling Kurt he loved him. He wasn't sure if the look in Kurt's eyes was fear, shock or a horrific mixture of both but, for some reason, it wasn't stopping him that night.

"Well, because we're just friends for a start…" Kurt smiled. He couldn't deny he was getting turned on at the thought of Blaine naked and writhing in pleasure underneath him but, he'd never seen this look in Blaine's eyes before. It was almost predatory and not like Blaine at all.

"Maybe we should, one day," Blaine gulped as he spoke, "just… just to see what it's like…"

"Really?" Kurt laughed, unsurely.

"Why not? We're good friends. Both mature adults… What would be the harm?"

"I'm not sure I would put you in the category of either mature or adult…" Kurt giggled.

"Fair point." Blaine laughed, pausing for a second and biting his lip. "Maybe… maybe we could use it as something helpful, though. Sort of… give each other pointers. I mean, we'd be honest with each other about what the other one is and isn't doing right and…. improve our skill a bit?" Blaine shifted slightly on the couch, moving just a few centimetres closer to Kurt. He knew he was being opportunistic, knew he was using the fact that they were both still high on adrenaline from the evening they'd had to try and push this idea forwards but, part of him didn't care. He wanted Kurt. He wanted, right at that moment, to be able to touch him in all the right places and make him scream. So he didn't care if it was a mistake, didn't care if he was only doing it because he was still slightly drunk and horny. He didn't even care if he was being selfish in his desire, all he could focus on was Kurt and how badly he wanted him.

"That's crazy," Kurt laughed, shaking his head.

"I don't think it is. We've both had crushes on each other in the past…"

"Wait, what?" Kurt frowned.

"I said we've both had crushes on each other in the past."

"Oh." Kurt said, taking in the new information. "I thought it was just me." Blaine realised what he'd said a few seconds later, feeling his heart pump louder and faster in panic as he cursed his horny brain for making his tongue so loose.

"I mean," He choked slightly, unable to take it back now, "just silly schoolboy crushes… nothing… nothing _serious_." He wanted to wince as he spoke, he was certain that Kurt would obviously see that he was lying.

"Oh." Kurt looked into his lap, wanting to brush past the subject as quick as possible. Blaine took a deep breath and reached out for Kurt's hand.

"It… it could be fun, you know…" He said, suddenly feeling timid and not looking Kurt in the eye. Was he really suggesting this? Was he really that selfish that he'd try and get to this part of Kurt without even thinking of consequences? He didn't get a chance to answer his question when Kurt spoke, a hint of humour in his voice.

"Are you drunk or high?" Kurt said as seriously as possible, trying to look into Blaine's eyes to see because that was the only thing that he could guess would be the reason as to why he was talking the way he was. Equally, if he was going to be crazy enough as to agree to this, he needed to know that they were both in control of their minds.

"Neither?" Blaine laughed. "I mean, I'm still a bit woozy from the club but in control of myself… Why, are you?"

"No, no of course not…" Kurt said and they fell quiet for a few moments. "Hypothetically," Kurt started, breaking the silence, "if we were to consider it… there'd have to be rules." Blaine froze as Kurt spoke. He couldn't believe he'd just heard his friend talk as if it was something that could possibly happen.

"Like?" A small smiled played on his lips as he looked up at Kurt.

"Well, it would have to be a one-night thing." Kurt said, matter-of-factly. "As in there would have to be an agreement that it wouldn't even be spoken about again."

"Of course, that makes sense." Blaine nodded. In all seriousness, he would've agreed to anything Kurt said at that moment. Any condition Kurt put on him, would have had an instant approval, as far as he was concerned.

"And then we'd just go back to being friends in the morning."

"Ok." Blaine said, he shifted his body towards Kurt slightly, a move that didn't go unnoticed by Kurt, who's breath hitched.

"Because you're my _best_ friend, Blaine. I'd hate to lose that because of some kind of experiment."

"I totally agree," Blaine said, his eyes darkening with lust as his arms moved to start pulling Kurt towards him. He was not accepting that this was hypothetical anymore.

"You know, I think you're just using the fact that I'm single and clearly haven't had sex in a while as a chance for you to take advantage of me," Kurt joked as Blaine pulled him closer. "It's not going to work, Blaine." He grinned.

"Really?" Blaine whispered, his face just centimetres from Kurt's. "You sure about that?" He raised his eyebrows in question and Kurt could feel his erection pressing up against his thigh. Kurt took a deep breath bringing him back down to reality. He shouldn't do this. _They_ shouldn't do this. He wanted Blaine like this so badly but, regardless of rules and the amount of times he'd talked about it like it was all hypothetical, they couldn't give in to this.

"I should go to bed." Kurt said quickly as Blaine started moving into him even further. He wriggled out of Blaine's grip and stumbled towards his room.

Blaine sat on the couch for a few moments, stunned. He couldn't quite understand what had just happened. He looked around the, now empty, room, in shock, trying to digest and examine what they'd just said. _You've really fucked it up now_, he thought to himself. He was certain that he'd pushed it too far. They always flirted and played games together but he'd definitely gone too far this time. And now Kurt hated him.

Blaine got to his feet and walked, determined, towards Kurt's bedroom door. He wasn't accepting this. He couldn't accept losing Kurt because _he_ was an idiot, he had to apologise now before their minds made it worse than it already was.

"Kurt, I'm so-" He started as he ran into Kurt's room, not bothering to knock. He paused, mouth wide when he saw what he'd walked in on. Kurt was leaning back against one wall with his pants around his knees, one hand around his cock and pumping gently. Blaine's breath caught in his throat as his gaze fell over Kurt's pose, his head tilted back against the wall, exposing the long line of his neck, eyes closed and drowning in the pleasure he was giving himself. That was until Kurt had jumped almost out of his skin at Blaine's unexpected interruption.

"Blaine!" He cried, shocked to see him standing in his room. "This… this… it's… not…" Kurt stuttered, there was no way he could form a sentence now, no way he could explain the fact that he'd just been caught masturbating over Blaine, turning it into something innocent. There was nothing innocent about it, no way to escape, and he felt like he was going to collapse with embarrassment. "Uhm… it… it's…"

"Stop talking." Blaine said, as his eyes darkened once more and he strode over to where Kurt was leaning, instantly pressing his mouth, hungrily, against Kurt's and holding him tightly up against the wall. Kurt squeaked in surprise as Blaine pushed up against him before settling into the kiss. Kurt couldn't believe the noises that were coming out of Blaine as he quickly moved from Kurt's lips, along his jawline and to his neck. He was making small growls with every movement that made Kurt feel like he was being devoured in the best way possible as Blaine started grinding up against him. Kurt whimpered slightly at the pleasure and pain of the graze of Blaine's jeans against his bare cock. Blaine pressed his fingers into Kurt's hips, tightly grasping at the bare skin until he couldn't take it anymore.

"Pants off, Hummel." He said roughly.

"They are off!" Kurt protested, regarding to them being around his knees still. Blaine pulled away from Kurt slightly and looked into his eyes, he was practically snarling with want and Kurt could tell that he wasn't prepared to take any kind of sass right now.

"_Off_ off!" He said, pulling his shirt off, before greedily shoving his lips back onto Kurt's. Kurt wriggled slightly, letting his pants drop to the floor and stepping out of them as he felt Blaine's hands start to grasp the skin under his shirt, his fingertips pressing bluntly into his waist and pulling him closer. Blaine broke away for a second to roughly pull Kurt's top over his head, flinging it to the ground and returning to his lips messily. Kurt allowed himself to be picked up, wrapping his arms around Blaine's shoulders and tangling his fingers in his hair. He tugged his head back to deepen the kiss, earning him a load groan from Blaine who shoved him back against the wall, almost winding him with how much power he had, power that Kurt didn't even realise he had and that turned him on even more than he already was, if that was possible.

Blaine spun them around quickly and practically threw Kurt onto the bed, standing next to it as Kurt sat up to meet his lips and started fumbling for his belt. Kurt, after a few attempts, successfully managed to undo it and pulled Blaine's pants and underwear down in one swift move, allowing his cock to spring free. Blaine instantly pushed Kurt back onto the bed and climbed on top of him, sucking his lips into his mouth.

"_Fuck_ Kurt!" He mumbled as his lips moved from Kurt's mouth, to his neck and dipping down to suck one of Kurt's nipples into his mouth. "Fuck you for looking this fucking good," Blaine babbled, grazing his teeth over Kurt's nipple, making Kurt gasp in pleasure and arch his back up into Blaine. Kurt tugged Blaine back up to his lips, smashing them together and nibbled roughly on Blaine's lower lip as Blaine whined in pleasure. Kurt could feel their cocks rubbing together as Blaine kept rolling his hips down, grazing his teeth along his shoulder, and he started to fumble around, reaching for his nightstand, not sure of how much longer he could hold on.

Blaine could feel Kurt reaching for something as he trailed his lips down to Kurt's shoulder but wasn't sure what until he felt the cool plastic of a lube bottle pressed into his hands.

"Fu… fuck me… Blaine… fuck me," Kurt gasped out breathlessly. He wasn't sure of any other way to let Blaine know what to do next and he needed it so badly, he didn't care about inhibitions anymore. Blaine felt a wave of heat rush over him at how sexy that was, that ok signal from Kurt, letting him know to take him completely. Blaine uncontrollably bit down hard on Kurt's shoulder and rolled his hips roughly once more, groaning loudly.

He blindly fumbled with the bottle and covered his fingers in the cool liquid, not taking any time to reconsider or even think about technique, instead just desperately thinking about how amazing it was going to feel being inside of Kurt. He pressed his forehead to Kurt's chest as Kurt, his head thrown back in pleasure, ran his fingers through Blaine's curls and up and down the back of his neck seductively. Breathing heavily, Blaine paused, finding it difficult to focus as Kurt was doing that, and, using his clean hand, he grabbed for Kurt's wrists, roughly shoving them above his head and holding them down so that he could concentrate. He quickly pressed the first finger into Kurt roughly, not using any kind of mercy. Right at that moment, his mind was covering for everything, every bite and loud grunt, with stupid excuses. Kurt screamed out in pleasure as Blaine pushed his finger inside of him and Blaine excused himself for the force he used, telling himself that it was Kurt's fault for being so fucking beautiful and making him wait all these years before finally letting Blaine fuck him senseless. Blaine paused for a few seconds, having to slow down a little bit or he knew that he would come before even getting inside of Kurt and there was no way that he was going to let his stupid body lose him that opportunity.

"More, Blaine… fuck… more!" Kurt cried out, helplessly. Blaine obediently pressed a second finger inside of him, feeling Kurt's tight heat not just surrounding his fingers but feeling like it was surrounding his entire body. Blaine moved his head and sucked hard on a spot on Kurt's stomach, leaving a bright red mark, needing to find any way to stop himself from just screaming obscenities.

Kurt wriggled underneath him, desperate for any kind of friction. He started to move his hips to take in even more of Blaine. It felt so sore and so wonderful all at the same time. He needed it, he was so desperate for release, needed Blaine's cock inside him now. Blaine pressed a third finger into Kurt, moving himself in and out of Kurt for a few moments before quickly moving his body back a bit, bending down and taking Kurt's cock into his mouth, immediately sucking hard and bobbing his head up and down quickly. Kurt moaned loudly at the quick movement.

"Now, Blaine… p…please… fuck me… now…" Kurt looked down at Blaine, his body shuddering with pleasure. "I'll do anything just… please… Blaine…" Blaine smiled to himself, this side of Kurt he'd never seen before and it made him fall in love with him even more. Desperate and begging Kurt was something that he wished he could get used to. He pulled off of Kurt's cock with a loud pop and reached for the discarded bottle of lube that was lying beside them on the bed. He quickly covered himself, pumping his cock roughly to make sure it was covered completely before bending back down.

"I'm going to hold you to that." He said, seductively, before pressing another kiss onto Kurt's lips and guiding his cock into him slowly. Kurt threw his head back and gripped Blaine's hips, giving a guttural moan as Blaine filled him, closing his eyes and leaning his body into it. Blaine buried his face into the crook of Kurt's neck, arms around his waist tightly, and started to pull back out again before, with a shuddering gasp, thrusting fiercely back in. Kurt's mind exploded with how good it all felt, now only able to give out choked noises as Blaine started to move faster. The same couldn't be said for Blaine who started mumbling loudly as he thrust into Kurt harder and harder.

"Fuck… Kurt… wanted you… so long… fuck…" Blaine babbled as he could feel pool of heat start to collect in his groin. He felt Kurt's hands scrabbling down in between them and wrap around his cock, jerking himself off as Blaine continued to thrust. "So… fucking… beautiful… Kurt… love you… Kurt…love you… love you!" He screamed as his body suddenly tightened and trembled immensely with the force of his orgasm. He sucked hard just above Kurt's left nipple as he came inside him, leaving a large red mark as he sucked harder and harder, riding out his orgasm. His body finally relaxed and, feeling Kurt still jerking himself off underneath him, he sat up quickly to take over. The second Blaine's hand wrapped around his cock and started pumping roughly, Kurt trembled and tightened around him, his head thrown back as he yelled Blaine's name. Blaine thought to himself how glad he was that they didn't come at the same time because then he would've never had the chance to see this. To see how stunning Kurt was as he came over his stomach, his hands grasping at the bed sheets and his back arching a ridiculous amount until he finally relaxed, slumping back onto the bed, panting. Blaine collapsed on top of him, kissing feverishly along his shoulder and neck, in turn.

They paused for a few moments, gasping loudly, sweat rolling down their bodies and mingling together until Blaine started to move so he could pull out.

"No!" Kurt said, still breathless, grabbing Blaine's biceps to stop him from pulling away, "stay… need you… need you in me…" Kurt gasped out the words, causing Blaine to chuckle gently.

"Ok," Blaine nodded submissively, leant back down and pressed his head against Kurt's shoulder, placing small licks along it, tasting the sweat that was dripping off of him. After another few minutes, Blaine could feel Kurt start to squirm underneath him and he made the decision to ignore his pleas and gently pulled out. Kurt hissed at the soreness that he felt as Blaine moved and then noticed how strangely empty he felt once Blaine had pulled out completely. They cuddled in silence for a few minutes, feeling the sweat on their bodies cool until they started to shiver slightly.

"Sleep?" Blaine said, his usual sweetness back in his eyes as he gazed up at Kurt's still flushed face.

"Sleep," Kurt nodded gently, closing his eyes. He felt Blaine, not moving from being positioned above him, grasp his waist and gently lift him up so that he could pull the covers out from under him before letting him rest back into the mattress, instantly relaxing back into him and shuffling his hips slightly to one side so he didn't squash Kurt. Blaine pulled the duvet over both of them, resting his head onto the front of Kurt's shoulder and hummed in contentment, drifting off straight away, not allowing himself to even consider the next morning. This was too perfect a moment to think of that.


	16. 23rd April 2021

23rd April 2021 – Blaine's Point of View

Their sleep that night had been sporadic, at best. It was like some kind of unwritten rule book had been thrown out of the window, allowing them, for that evening, to explore each other's bodies as much as they wanted as they woke up intermittently throughout the night. There was no way Blaine was going to feel guilty for it either. When he came down Kurt's throat for the second time, yelling out his name, he didn't feel guilty for pulling his face towards him for a lingering kiss, tasting himself on Kurt's tongue, then holding him close to his chest so that they could kiss lazily for the next half an hour until they both fell back asleep. Equally, when he woke Kurt up at 5am because his erection was pressing so hard into his back, he refused to let himself feel in any way remorseful for instantly tugging the front of Kurt's thigh, pulling it across his own so he could get better access and fucking into him again, running his tongue in between Kurt's shoulder blades and coming simply because of the shivers Kurt was getting from it. Even when he'd decided to start pumping on Kurt's cock while he was sleeping and didn't have enough moisture on his hand so Kurt had yelled out, not from an orgasm but from a near friction burn, he couldn't feel guilty because of the way Kurt had turned over, kissed him sweetly and lined up both of their cocks, wiping his saliva over them both before letting them pump together and bringing them both to climax at the same time before brushing past Blaine's faux pas with a shrug as he tried to apologise profusely.

It was only once Blaine had climbed into Kurt's en-suite shower, his body feeling numb from how tired he was, that he started to question himself. Once he left the shower room, he knew that Kurt's rules came back into play. Even if it had been a joke, he'd agreed to them both returning to being friends, not talking about what had happened last night and everything going back to normal. He rested his head against the cool tile of the shower as the contrastingly hot water ran down his back, considering if he even knew what normal meant anymore.

He tried to take his mind off of it and hummed to himself as he covered his body in soap. Regardless of what happened once he left that shower room, he could still be happy about the night here and now, could still relish the memory of Kurt's lips trailing over his chest, fingers and cock. Anyway, it wasn't like he hadn't been used to hiding his feelings for Kurt, he'd been doing it for nearly ten years now and he almost didn't know how he'd cope if they came out into the open anyway.

He finished his shower, turning it off, and wrapped a towel around his waist so that he could see if he could find Kurt's pyjamas to change into as it was probably best he didn't get back into the clothes from the night before. He tried to step out of the en-suite, quietly, not wanting to wake Kurt up. It was only once he closed the door and turned around that he realised that Kurt was already awake, dressed in some navy blue pyjamas, and sitting up in bed, cross legged, playing with his thumbs.

Blaine, as Kurt looked over to him, almost forgot that he wasn't wearing any clothes, instead focussing on how adorable Kurt's bed hair was, until he noticed Kurt's eyes widened slightly, looking him up and down. Blaine looked down to see what he was looking at and realised, bashfully laughing at how inappropriate it was for him to be standing there in just a towel.

"Spare pyjamas?" He said, clearing his throat. Kurt gestured towards a draw and Blaine grabbed a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt that happened to be in there. He quickly ran back into the en-suite to get changed, not feeling comfortable with getting changed in front of Kurt. He left the shower room once more, not being able to take his gaze off of Kurt but equally, not being able to move any further forward into the room than the door of the en-suite.

"So…" He said, breaking the awkward silence between them.

"So…" Kurt breathed deeply. "Last night…"

"Yeah…"

"It was…" Kurt was seeming to have trouble finding the words that he needed.

"Something we weren't going to talk about, I thought." Blaine said without thinking. _Shit_, Blaine thought to himself, _now he's gonna think you don't **want** to talk about it_. Kurt smiled and looked into his hands.

"Not strictly speaking…" He said. Blaine's heart started to pound in his chest.

"N… no?" He said, gulping with anticipation. _This can be a moment for us,_ he thought. _Maybe this is the time when everything falls into place. We're both single, both friends. I just need to say the right things and this could be it!_

"I seem to remember you saying we should share advice on how to improve," Kurt raised his eyebrows. _Is he being serious?_ "Not that I think we should," he said hurriedly, "just that you said that we weren't allowed to talk about it but, technically, we are. Genie law and all that." Kurt bit his lip and smiled gently, his eyes wrinkling slightly at the corners like they always did when he smiled.

"You shouldn't change a thing." Blaine said instantly.

"You either." Kurt shook his head, his glance moving in between looking at Blaine and gazing into his lap. _I love it when you're nervous_. "We… didn't use a condom, y'know." Kurt said abruptly. Blaine blinked a few times and stared at him looking more nervous than ever. _What is he trying to imply?_

"I've not got anything if that's what you're worried about," Blaine frowned and crossed his arms, almost appalled that he was having to tell his best friend that he doesn't have any STD's. "I get checked regularly…"

"No!" Kurt's face changed from nervous to worried in an instant. "I didn't mean it like that." _Then how did you mean it?_ "I just meant that I've… I've never done that with anyone before…"

"I don't think you can get pregnant from it," Blaine joked and Kurt smiled broadly, relaxing just slightly.

"I know…" Kurt bit his lip again. "You know you said a lot while we… while we were…" _Oh God he can't even say it out loud. He can't even say that we had sex out loud._

"Did… did I?" Blaine swallowed, trying to remember back to the evening before.

"You don't remember?"

"Not really… I was, sort of… uh… _preoccupied…_ I hope it was nothing too offensive," Blaine tried to laugh.

"No."

"What did I say?" _What the fuck did I SAY?_

"Lots of things," Kurt went back to playing with his thumbs. "Only a few that stood out though."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. Mostly the ones where you said you'd wanted me for so long and also where you kept repeating that you loved me." Kurt looked directly at Blaine. _Fuck_ "That second one really stood out to me actually."

"Did it?" Blaine gulped. _That's because I do love you… I love you so much, Kurt…_. Kurt simply nodded, not looking away from him. "Well, I meant it just as a friend of course… heat of the moment and all that…" Blaine lied. _This is what he wants_, he kept trying to repeat to himself, reminding himself of the conversation that they'd had the night before. He held his breath, certain that the next thing Kurt was about to say to him would be something about never wanting to see him again but Kurt stayed silent. "Shall I make us some breakfast?" Blaine offered. Kurt just nodded. He started to walk to the door, second thinking himself for a moment and going to give Kurt a quick hug in the hopes that it would make things ok again before leaving the room.

"I'll be out in just a moment." Kurt called after him as he walked out of the bedroom and into the kitchen, starting to search the cupboards for something to make.

He'd only been cooking for a few minutes when Kurt exited the bedroom, his cheeks were bright red and he avoided Blaine's eyes. _Oh god… he's embarrassed… that's it, _Blaine thought to himself, _he's embarrassed that we had sex… that's why he's being like this._ His heart ached as he saw Kurt's reddened face, finally working out the feelings that were being directed towards him.

"So we're friends?" Kurt asked, seemingly tentatively. _Oh thank god_, Blaine thought to himself, relieved that at least Kurt still wanted to be friends.

"Yes, yes!" Blaine nodded enthusiastically. "Of course, we are!" He breathed a heavy sigh of relief. It might not have been perfect but at least things really could go back to normal.

"Ok." Kurt nodded. "Friends." They fell into silence again. Blaine smiled to himself as he finished cooking their food. It was all ok.

* * *

><p>23rd April 2021 – Kurt's Point of View<p>

Kurt couldn't believe how many times Blaine had turned him on the night before. It was like everything was becoming fuzzier and clearer at the same time. It was a side of Blaine he'd never seen. Many sides of Blaine in fact. Rough Blaine, gentle Blaine, _in love_ Blaine, possibly? He couldn't get enough of the feeling of Blaine's cock filling him so wonderfully that he'd loved him over and over again. Lucas had been right. Kurt was in love with Blaine. The previous night had just confirmed it for him. He loved Blaine. And that was it. That was everything.

It was only as he was waking up in bed, hearing the water running in his en-suite and assuming that, that was where Blaine was, that he'd remembered their conversation the night before. The amount of times the word _friend_ had been mentioned. A seed of doubt started to creep into Kurt's mind. He admitted that he had no clue where Blaine's mind was at and there was a distinct possibility that it could just have been something Blaine _said_ during sex. Kurt was certain, though, that Blaine would tell him he loved him again, if he did. This time not in the heat of the moment but this time because he wanted Kurt to be his and that was how he wanted to show it.

Kurt got up and quickly got dressed into some of his pyjamas, knowing the conversation with Blaine would definitely be a lot less awkward if he at least had some clothes on. He sat back onto the bed and crossed his legs as he thought. He had to wait for Blaine to say it first. He'd misunderstood these things enough times before to know that he needed to wait for Blaine to say he loved him again before admitting how he felt too.

Kurt heard Blaine turning the shower off and, after a few minutes, a dripping wet Blaine emerged from the steamy room, with only a towel wrapped around his waist. Kurt's breath hitched and he watched as Blaine, not noticing him, turned to shut the door gently, his back muscles rippling sexily as he did, small droplets of water crawling down his tanned skin. He spun around and finally caught Kurt's eyes. Kurt couldn't help but to look him up and down, remembering how the night before, his tongue had traced outlines on those abs. He noticed Blaine blush slightly and, glancing down, seeming to realise he didn't have many clothes on.

"Spare pyjamas?" He said, clearing his throat. Kurt gestured towards a drawer and watched as Blaine grabbed a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt that happened to be in there. He quickly ran back into the en-suite to get changed. Kurt sighed to himself and fidgeted. _It's not a good start if he's not happy getting changed in front of you,_ he thought to himself sadly.

Blaine quickly exited the shower room once more but stopped at the door, unmoving. Kurt frowned gently, unsure as to why Blaine was staying back.

"So…" Blaine said. Kurt was glad that he'd been the one to break the silence because he had no idea how to start this conversation.

"So…" Kurt breathed deeply. "Last night…" _was the best night of my life_.

"Yeah…"

"It was…" Kurt couldn't say it out loud. It was too far and too honest for him right now. He didn't get a chance to find an alternative ending to the sentence, though, as Blaine had started talking.

"Something we weren't going to talk about, I thought." Blaine said. _He doesn't **want** to talk about it, he means._ Kurt smiled and looked into his hands, he wasn't prepared to let Blaine get away without talking that easily.

"Not strictly speaking…" He said, remembering their conversation the night before clearly better than Blaine was.

"N… no?"

"I seem to remember you saying we should share advice on how to improve," Kurt raised his eyebrows before instantly regretting it. _What a stupid thing to say! What the hell am I going to say about his sex skills? This is a ridiculous place to try and take the conversation, Kurt!_ "Not that I think we should," he said hurriedly, "just that you said that we weren't allowed to talk about it but, technically, we are. Genie law and all that." Kurt bit his lip and smiled gently. He felt he'd covered his tracks well, plus it might give him an opportunity to talk about what Blaine had been saying the night before.

"You shouldn't change a thing." Blaine said instantly. Kurt's heart leapt into his throat. _This is it!_

"You either." Kurt shook his head, his glance moving in between looking at Blaine and gazing into his lap. _You were inside me and you're still inside me, _Kurt thought to himself as he remembered it all. "We… didn't use a condom, y'know." Kurt said abruptly. _I need you to know that was special. Me letting you do that was special.._. Blaine blinked a few times and stared at him, shifting on the spot.

"I've not got anything if that's what you're worried about," Blaine frowned and crossed his arms. "I get checked regularly…" _What? _Kurt gulped. He'd never even imagined that Blaine would think that, that was what he was implying.

"No!" Kurt's face changed from nervous to worried in an instant. "I didn't mean it like that." _Oh god, this is pain. "_I just meant that I've… I've never done that with anyone before…" _Only you, only ever you._

"I don't think you can get pregnant from it," Blaine joked and Kurt smiled broadly, relaxing just slightly. _I love you_.

"I know…" Kurt bit his lip again. He had to get out what needed to be said, had to be more upfront about this. "You know you said a lot while we… while we were…" Kurt swallowed as he tried to get the words out, trying desperately to not think of it so closely that he got hard. That would definitely ruin the atmosphere.

"Did… did I?" Blaine swallowed. Kurt felt his heartbeat quicken.

"You don't remember?"

"Not really… I was, sort of… uh… _preoccupied…_ I hope it was nothing too offensive," Blaine tried to laugh.

"No." _Do you really not remember, Blaine? Are you kidding me?_

"What did I say?"

"Lots of things," _You said you loved me. _Kurt went back to playing with his thumbs. "Only a few that stood out though." _You said it over and over again_.

"Yeah?" _Like you needed to say it in order to breathe._

"Yeah. Mostly the ones where you said you'd wanted me for so long and also where you kept repeating that you loved me." Kurt looked directly at Blaine. _Tell me you love me again, Blaine._ "That second one really stood out to me actually." _Because I love you too. Can't you see it?_

"Did it?" Blaine gulped. _Say it. _Kurt nodded, not looking away from him. _Just say it once more and I'm yours forever._

_Please, Blaine._

_Tell me you love me._

**_Say it_****.**

"Well, I meant it just as a friend of course… heat of the moment and all that…" Blaine said, shrugging. Kurt paused, trying to hold back the tears that were suddenly threatening to fall at the realisation that Blaine didn't feel the same way about him as he did for Blaine. "Shall I make us some breakfast?" Blaine offered. Kurt just nodded. The fact that he could change topic so quickly showed how little he really felt it. Kurt watched as Blaine started to walk to the door, before stopping for a second and giving Kurt a quick hug. As Kurt wrapped his arms around Blaine's broad shoulders, he felt only a small amount of comfort from the friendly gesture.

"I'll be out in just a moment." Kurt called after Blaine as he walked out of the bedroom and choked out a sob the second the door had shut. He breathed a few deep breaths trying hard not to think about how much he was going to have to do to get over this. He had to stop himself from sending an "I told you so" text to Lucas as he wiped the tears from his face. _One more chance,_ Kurt thought to himself, breathing deeply, _I'll give him just one more chance to tell me and then it's done. Then I'll work on just getting over him and I won't look back._

Kurt exited the bedroom, aware that his cheeks might have been bright red from crying. He tried to avoid eye contact with Blaine in the hopes that he wouldn't be able to tell.

"So we're friends." Kurt said in disbelief, shrugging and hoping that Blaine would disagree with him, tell him that they were much more than friends. Tell him that he was silly for thinking otherwise.

"Yes, yes!" Blaine nodded enthusiastically. "Of course, we are!" Kurt sighed. He was an idiot for even considering that Blaine might have wanted to be anything more.

"Ok." Kurt nodded, accepting it finally. "Friends." He sighed deeply as they fell into silence again. At least Blaine seemed to be oblivious to his feelings so it wasn't as if their friendship would break down while Kurt was trying his best to forget about him. At least.


	17. 2nd September 2021

2nd September 2021

Blaine held the small ball of fluff to his face, grinning slightly as it mewed. It was nice to have another presence in the apartment, especially seeing as him and Kurt hadn't been speaking as often as they used to. They'd been in contact via email and called each other every so often but, for some reason, everything felt a little passive aggressive and awkward. Something had changed, maybe irreparably.

It hadn't helped that all of his work had been in Ohio recently. He normally had meetings in New York every few weeks and so was able to see Kurt regularly but his father's company had stopped doing business with the clients he normally dealt with so he hadn't been there since a few weeks after they'd slept together. Kurt always tried to stay away from Ohio as much as he possibly could too, so that was never an option. He'd hated admitting to himself that he'd been lonely but, as each day had been so dull and samey, a mixture of going to work, eating alone and coming back to an empty apartment, that was exactly what he was. He found it incredibly odd that he'd been feeling like that too. He'd never before thought anything about the fact that he lived alone, enjoying having a space to himself. In fact, he'd been living alone for years now, he found it almost insane that he was suddenly feeling like everything was too quiet.

He watched with delight as the small creature stumbled around on his floor, sniffing and investigating it's new home. He sighed at the realisation of how delighted he was. He really needed to find a man. Otherwise this could be the start of him turning into an old cat lady and he wasn't prepared for that to happen. He glanced at his cell considering calling Kurt to tell him about the kitten. It had been a while since he called Kurt for no reason and the same vice versa so he wasn't sure how welcome his call would be. However, picturing Kurt with the kitten curled up on his lap made him instantly smile and, despite some reservations, he picked up his cell and started dialling. The kitten clambered over to him and he lifted it up onto his chest as the cell rang.

"Hi Blaine," Kurt said as he picked up, "How's it going?" There was none of his usual delight, or any kind of joking tone as he spoke. There used to be.

"It's very good actually, how are you?"

"Yeah not bad, thanks." Silence fell between them for a moment. "Why are you calling me, Blaine?"

"Rude!" Blaine teased.

"Whatever, Blaine, I'm busy right now so if you've got nothing to say to me then I'll hang up…" Kurt said impatiently.

"Woah, Kurt, relax… I was just joking…" Blaine bit his lip, stroking the kitten absent-mindedly. This was something that had only started recently too. They were always very much in tune with each other's senses of humour, picking up on even the tiniest of jokes but, somehow, neither of them got it at all lately.

"Sorry." Another awkward silence. "Why were you calling though?"

"Well," Blaine said proudly, "I just wanted to let you know that I've got someone new in my life!"

"What? Since when?" Kurt said harshly.

"Since today actually."

"So nothing serious then?" Kurt said and Blaine could've sworn that he sounded almost worried.

"I don't know, I think I'm gonna have to keep this one for a while. Maybe even as long as about 14-15 years…"

"That's very precise."

"Not necessarily…"

"Why did you think I would want this information, Blaine?" Kurt was annoyed. If Blaine had gotten a new boyfriend, Kurt really, _really_ didn't want to know about it. He was having a lot of trouble trying to forget about Blaine and couldn't help but feel an irritated form of jealousy at hearing Blaine's smooth voice talk about someone else.

"Kurt…" Blaine said, frowning, "because you're my best friend, aren't you?" This was a question Blaine had asked Kurt a lot over the past few months. He couldn't really understand what was happening between them. They were drifting apart again, this time against his will, and he couldn't understand why. Kurt had said after they slept together that they were friends. He'd agreed the rules in the first place and Blaine had complied so he couldn't see how it would possibly be that. However, he couldn't help but feel a great amount of animosity directed at him, so he kept checking, hoping it would jog Kurt's memory too, that they were still best friends.

"Of course, Blaine." Kurt sighed.

"Well, then you're the only person I would want to tell this to." Kurt sighed again.

"Ok, go on, tell me about him…"

"Well, he's small…"

"Oh good so you won't have to stand on a box to kiss him then," Kurt said sarcastically, referring to the first kiss he'd been given by Blaine at a party years ago.

"He's fluffy."

"I never pictured you as going for the hairy type, Blaine..." Kurt said, starting to feel jealousy boil up within him.

"Well, you'd be wrong then Kurt. I'd also say he's kind of the strong, silent type too." Blaine said as he chuckled into the kitten's fur.

"It sounds like he's all wrong for you so far …"

"I don't know about that…"

"I'm being serious! This guy sounds dull…" Kurt let his jealousy start to seep into his voice.

"Well, he's also currently licking my face…"

"Blaine! What the hell?" Kurt said sharply, unable to control his anger. "Why on earth would you tell me that? Are you just trying to rub it in my face because that's just mean?"

"Kurt… relax…"

"No, I won't _relax_!" Kurt yelled. "How dare you think it's ok to call me and tell me that!"

"Kurt… shut up for a second…" Blaine said, his head swimming, "it's a kitten!"

"… What?" Kurt paused.

"I got a kitten, that was it." Blaine winced as his joke backfired. "I'm sorry, I thought you'd find it funny…"

"I didn't."

"I'm sorry."

"That's ok." Kurt sighed. "…So you got a kitten?"

"Yeah," Blaine smiled. "You should come over and see it sometime."

"Yeah, maybe." Kurt bit his lip, not wanting to turn his maybe into solid plans just yet. "How come?"

"Well because you might like it and it'd be good to see you…"

"No, I meant how come you got the kitten?" Kurt smiled as he felt his body relax. He'd been so on edge each time that he'd spoken to Blaine that he knew he'd been lashing out. And really, he knew it was ridiculous. It wasn't Blaine's fault that Kurt had fallen for him. It wasn't really fair for Kurt to take it out on him.

"It was just seeming a bit quiet around the place..." Blaine said, really referring to his life and his life without Kurt in it. "And I passed a pet shop and saw this little guy inside," he nuzzled his nose into the kitten's face, "and couldn't resist… I think it was the beautiful blue eyes," he said, not seeing the poetry in being drawn in by something that possessed the exact same stunning feature that drew him towards Kurt so often.

"How old is it?" Kurt asked.

"They said about 8 weeks…"

"Well, I hate to break it to you, Blaine but… not so likely they're gonna stay blue," Kurt said fondly.

"… Damn… I may have to take it back then…" Blaine joked and, for the first time in months, he heard Kurt laugh slightly. It wasn't the usual full laugh that he normally gave but it was something. He did manage to get a full laugh from Kurt just seconds later though when Kurt had asked what he was going to name the kitten.

"I don't know if I should tell you, Kurt…" Blaine said, enthusiastically, "your brain may implode with awesome-ness at how awesome the kitten's name is."

"I think I'll survive." Kurt said and Blaine could almost hear him rolling his eyes as he spoke, a gesture that Blaine was incredibly used to… and missed deeply.

"The kitten's name is…" Blaine held the kitten up in the air, in a grand gesture of naming, "Kitty Perry!" And that had been it, Blaine heard Kurt's full laugh echo down the cell and could only imagine how stunning he probably looked as he creased up.

"Didn't you say it was a boy kitten?" Kurt said through his laughing.

"He's as much of a man as I am…" Blaine teased.

"Oh, then the name's appropriate, I guess…" Kurt laughed again.

"Mean!" Blaine joked.

"Sorry, sorry," Kurt said as he started to calm down. He had to bite back the I love you that was threatening to spill from his lips as Blaine was talking to him and telling him that he should probably go and feed Kitty Perry as he was starting to bite his nose.

Kurt chuckled again at the thought before uttering his goodbyes and hanging up. It had been awkward enough between them recently that he wasn't too upset by the fact that Blaine hadn't been able to make it to New York too much. He was glad, though, that they'd been able to have an, albeit small, conversation as if they were just them again. At least it was a start.


	18. 30th September 2021

**Warnings for this chapter - offscreen minor character death.**

* * *

><p>30th September 2021<p>

Blaine stumbled barefoot to the door, trying to find the light switches as he went and almost tripping over Kitty Perry at one point. He paused to bend down and tickle the kitten on it's head by way of apology before carrying on stumbling sleepily to the door. It was a stormy night and he couldn't understand why anyone would possibly be out of their house in this weather, let alone at 1am on a Thursday!

He swung the door open to find Kurt, drenched, his face bright red, and his body shivering relentlessly.

"Kurt?" Blaine said, shocked at the unplanned arrival. "What on earth are you doing here? It's two in the morning… and Ohio… you hate Ohio…" Kurt shook his head, wrapping his arms around himself to try and get warmer.

"I'm s… sorry…" Kurt said, dipping his head. "I d... don't know anyone else in Ohio anymore… I didn't know who else to t… turn to." Kurt screwed his face up, tears streaming heavily down his cheeks. Blaine instantly wrapped his arms around Kurt, dragging him into the house and out of the cold night.

"It's fine, Kurt." He hugged him tightly to his chest, stroking Kurt's damp hair as he spoke. His t-shirt started to feel cold and damp but he didn't notice, it being overshadowed by his concern for Kurt. "What's wrong, what's happened?" Kurt didn't answer him, continuing to cry into Blaine's chest, gripping him tightly around the waist. "Kurt? Talk to me…" Blaine said, frowning in concern. He'd never seen Kurt like this and he wasn't afraid to admit that it was scaring him. Kurt started to try and catch his breath to talk.

"It's… it's my D…Dad…" He said, in between gasps. "He's d…dead…" Kurt seemed to be hit with a new wave of realisation as he spoke the words and, with a loud choked sob, his legs gave out underneath him, dragging them both to the ground. Blaine kept a tight hold on Kurt as they fell to the floor with a bump and it sunk in what had happened. He started rocking him gently, his eyes wide with shock, desperately trying to soothe him but not knowing at all what he should say or do in this situation. All he could do was whisper soothing words into Kurt's ear as he let him cry.

"Shh… it's ok, Kurt… I'm here… Shh…" He felt a few tears fall onto his cheeks as he spoke, both from the news and having to see Kurt in so much pain. He quickly wiped them away with the back of his hand, relentlessly trying to hold back his own upset to focus solely on Kurt.

"I'm not… I'm not ready for this, Blaine…" Kurt choked out as his sobs got harder and more breathless. Blaine held him tighter as he felt Kurt's chest start to move quicker and more erratically. Kurt bent over further into Blaine as the sound of his breathing, which was now increasing in speed by the second, took over from the sound of his sobs. Blaine's heart thumped as he realised what was happening. He helped Kurt move and sat him against the wall, his face panicked as his breathing continued to be heavy and fast paced.

"Kurt… look at me…" Blaine said, clasping Kurt's face with his hands and nudging it gently so that he was looking up at Blaine.

"Wha… What's happening?" Kurt said, tears still streaming down his face, his breathing now completely out of control.

"It's ok, baby, you're just having a panic attack. It's fine, you'll be fine," Blaine tried to smile, staying as calm as he possibly could. "I need you to focus on me, ok?" Kurt hiccupped slightly, his eyes wide from fear, not understanding what was happening to his body. "Ok, Kurt?" Blaine repeated having not got an answer, he needed to know Kurt could hear him. Kurt looked him directly in the eyes and nodded. "Ok, now I need you to breathe in through your nose for 5 and out through your mouth for 5, ok? Can you do that for me, baby?" He said gently, knowing that if he could just get Kurt to focus and slow his breaths then it'd be fine. Kurt nodded and he started counting to 5 as Kurt, trembling, breathed in as best he could and then out with another 5. They repeated the action for a few minutes, Blaine gripping tightly to Kurt's hands as he counted for him, nodding and smiling gently every time Kurt managed it until Kurt had calmed down. Kurt's breathing slowly started to come back under control and, once he was back to normal again, he crossed his legs and moved his hands to his lap, looking down as he hiccupped a few times.

"I'm so sorry…" He mumbled, still crying but gentler now.

"Don't you dare apologise to me, Kurt," Blaine said softly, "especially not now." Kurt nodded quietly. "… How did it happen?" Blaine asked tentatively.

"Heart attack." Kurt nodded again. "Him and Carole were out to dinner and he just… he just collapsed apparently. They took him to the hospital but it… it was too late… Oh God…" Kurt's face screwed up once more as a fresh set of tears started rushing down his cheeks. Blaine shuffled himself to sit next to Kurt, pulling him back into his chest. "He's gone, Blaine… he's really gone…" Blaine tightened his grip and pressed his mouth to the top of Kurt's head, kissing him repeatedly, running his hands up and down Kurt's arms, trying to soothe him. It was only then that he noticed how damp they both were now.

"Come on," He said gently, trying to nudge Kurt to his feet slightly, "let's get you changed, you must be freezing." Kurt sniffed as he allowed himself to be pulled to his feet and taken upstairs to Blaine's bedroom.

"Can… can I shower first, please?" Kurt asked tentatively.

"Of course," Blaine nodded before getting Kurt a towel and leading him to where the bathroom was. He left him to shower for a while, going to look through his clothes to pick something out for Kurt before sitting in his bedroom, waiting for him to get out of the shower. When it got to half an hour later, and there was no sign of Kurt, Blaine started to get worried. "Kurt, are you ok?" He called out as he stepped tentatively towards the bathroom door and pressed his ear up against it. All he could hear was the sound of running water and Kurt's gentle sobs.

When Kurt didn't answer him, he tested the door handle and was relieved to find that it wasn't locked. He poked his head around the door, calling Kurt's name to see if he might get an answer this time. As he peered round he saw Kurt, sitting in the shower, his knees huddled to his chest and his body shaking from crying.

"Kurt…" He said compassionately as he rushed towards the shower, getting in with him, not caring about Kurt's lack of clothes or his own clothes getting wet, getting onto his knees and wrapping his arms around Kurt's shaking shoulders. Kurt's sobs suddenly got louder as if Blaine had given him permission to cry. Blaine held him tightly, the water rushing around them both, as Kurt cried into his arms.

"I'm sorry, Blaine…" Kurt whispered.

"Please stop apologising," Blaine said firmly. He held Kurt for a few more minutes as his sobbing started to die down before pulling away. "Come on, let's get you washed," he said gently as he helped Kurt to his feet and let him lean up against the shower wall.

"You don't have to do that," Kurt said quietly as he watched Blaine reach for the shower gel.

"It's fine, Kurt," Blaine said, looking into his eyes, "let me look after you…" Kurt nodded gently and Blaine proceeded to pour some soap into his hands. "As long as you're ok with it, that is?" He asked, second guessing himself and realising he could be making Kurt uncomfortable. Kurt nodded again to show he was fine and he watched as Blaine lathered the soap up in his hands and started working it into his body.

He started with his chest, moving his hands in large circles as his fingers stroked lightly over Kurt's torso, dragging soap all over it, before moving to his arms and legs, a look of concentration on his face at wanting to comfort Kurt and make sure he was properly showered at the same time. He guided Kurt to turn around and face the wall and he started to massage the soap into his back. Kurt pressed his forehead against the tile in the shower and hummed gently, feeling his tension start to melt away as Blaine's rough hands worked their way over his back and then running down to the backs of his thighs and legs.

It would have been easy for this to have been a sexual gesture but Blaine was very careful to not make it seem that way. He simply wanted to look after Kurt and make sure that he was able to finish showering properly. He purposefully avoided washing Kurt's groin and ass, making a point to look away from them as he covered him in soap. He stood up and turned Kurt back around by his hips, lifting up his hand and wiping some of the lathered soap into it.

"I'll let you deal with those areas," he smiled gently, gesturing downwards before turning around to give Kurt some privacy. Kurt let him know once he'd finished washing and Blaine turned back around, not batting an eyelid as he reached for the shampoo and started rubbing it, gently, into Kurt's hair. Kurt gazed up at him, amazed that he had a friend so wonderful that he would do this for him and, without thinking, he rushed forwards and wrapped his arms around Blaine's waist, nuzzling his head into Blaine's chest, covering it in shampoo accidentally. Blaine took a step back to brace himself from the force of Kurt's hug and, after a second of being in shock at the sudden gesture, Blaine wrapped his arms around Kurt's shoulders.

"Thank you." Kurt whispered into Blaine's chest.

"That's ok," Blaine responded with a whisper, pressing a small kiss to Kurt's temple before trying to nudge him away from him again so he could carry on shampooing his hair. Blaine removed the shower head from it's holder and guided Kurt, who still had his arms wrapped around Blaine's waist, to tip his head back as he started to stroke the shampoo out of Kurt's hair, making sure to not get any in his eyes. He repeated the same action with the conditioner until he was happy that Kurt was fully clean and he turned the shower off.

He steered Kurt out of the shower and wrapped the towel tightly around him, rubbing it over his body to dry him before covering his head in it and rubbing at his hair. That seemed to be a step too far for Kurt who giggled, and clasped Blaine's hands in his own to stop them from moving.

"It's ok, I'll do that. It'll be impossible to style if you keep doing it like that," Kurt giggled slightly, starting to pat at his head. Blaine nodded and stepped away, leaving trails of water across the floor from his clothes.

"I'd better get out of these," he said, tugging on the edge of his t-shirt gently. "Is that ok?" Kurt nodded and Blaine instantly turned around to face away from him and quickly removed his clothes, placing them over the edge of the bath to let them dry out and wrapped a towel around his waist. "Ok, let's get you in some clothes," he smiled gently as he showed Kurt to his bedroom where he'd already laid out some spare pyjamas for him. He handed them to Kurt to let him get changed as he found some for himself and then, once they were dressed, led Kurt back downstairs to make him a hot drink.

He left Kurt, wrapped up in a blanket on his couch in front of the fireplace as he went to the kitchen to make him a green tea. He wasn't 100% sure how to deal with this kind of situation but had heard somewhere that tea helps with shock so felt that was the best thing he could've given to Kurt at that time.

Once he'd made them both a drink, he padded back through to his living room to see Kurt curled up on the sofa with the kitten in his lap, smiling gently as he stroked it and played with it's tiny paws. He looked up as Blaine handed him the green tea and smiled.

"So, this is Kitty Perry?" He asked.

"Yup," Blaine said as he sat down on the other end of the couch, tugging the other side of the blanket to cover his legs.

"I like him," Kurt smiled again as he looked back down to the kitten, stroking it's head playfully as it was trying to bat at Kurt's fingers with it's paws.

"I think he likes you too." Blaine said, taking a sip of his tea. They fell into a comfortable silence as Blaine watched Kurt pet the kitten, peacefully, until he looked like he was starting to think too deeply, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth.

"Blaine…" Kurt said, uncertainly.

"Yeah?"

"Can I… Do you… mind… if I maybe stay here tonight, please? I'm… I'm not sure I could face going home right now."

"Of course! You can stay for as long as you want," Blaine nodded earnestly. "I wasn't going to let you go tonight, even if you wanted to, anyway." He added, caringly. Kurt nodded gently, going back to playing with Kitty Perry. They sat in silence for a few more minutes until Kurt, unable to stifle it, yawned loudly. Blaine chuckled gently and took the mug of tea from his hands, placing them both on his coffee table before picking up Kitty Perry and taking Kurt's hand when he whined slightly at the removal of the cat.

"Come on," Blaine said softly. "You should get some sleep." Kurt let himself be dragged up from the sofa, yawning again, and Blaine led him to his guest room.

"I'm just across the hall if you need anything, ok?" He said raising his eyebrows. "And I mean anything. If you want to wake me up for any reason, even if you think it's silly, go for it, ok?" He looked Kurt directly in the eyes to show he was serious. Kurt nodded and hugged him in thanks, as Blaine pressed a kiss to his forehead, before disappearing into the guest room. Blaine padded back to his room, getting into bed and falling asleep almost instantly.

About an hour later he was woken by the sound of his door gently creaking open. He stayed still and listened as he heard, what he could only assume were Kurt's, feet padding over to the bed. He felt the covers move slightly as Kurt lifted them and then his weight on the mattress as he lied down next to Blaine. Blaine turned over to face him, and wrapped an arm around Kurt's waist, pulling him closer, feeling comfortable as they shared each other's warmth.

"I couldn't sleep," Kurt muttered into Blaine's shoulder.

"'S ok," Blaine mumbled as he pressed a kiss to Kurt's temple and shuffled slightly to settle back to sleep.

As Blaine slept he dreamt of Kurt. If he was awake he would've chastised himself for how inappropriate the dreams were but, as he dozed, he hummed happily in his sleep as dream-Kurt was kissing and licking his neck, softly palming his half-hardened cock through his pants. It was only when dream-Kurt's hands were moving into his underpants, starting to pump his cock gently that he realised that he wasn't dreaming. That was actually Kurt doing that. His body tensed as he realised what was happening and how wrong it was.

"Kurt, what are you doing?" He said softly, wrapping his hand around Kurt's wrist and gently pulling it out of his underpants.

"Shh," Kurt said quietly, "can't sleep…" He pressed his lips to Blaine's, trying to put his hand back into his underpants, before Blaine pushed him away again.

"Kurt, stop." Blaine chuckled, blushing.

"Please, Blaine… need it… need you." Kurt mumbled as he tried to kiss Blaine again.

"No, Kurt, _stop_!" Blaine said, wriggling away from his grip again, pushing him slightly more forcefully this time.

"Blaine…" Kurt said, starting to look upset, his face reddening from embarrassment. "You said if I needed anything…"

"Yes, I know…"

"Well, I need this…" He started to lean in again and Blaine pushed him away even harder, getting out of bed to step away from him.

"Kurt, no!" He said, sternly. "I'm not going to take advantage of you like this!"

"You didn't seem to have a problem a few months ago!" Kurt said suddenly, frowning as he sat up in bed. Blaine paused, feeling stung by Kurt's words.

"You're hurting so I'm going to pretend you didn't say that because I think we both know that it wasn't just me who wanted that to happen, Kurt." Blaine said, his eyes narrowing as he tried to keep a hold of his anger. Kurt knew he was right but ignored it anyway.

"You _said_ if I needed anything!" Kurt repeated, indignantly.

"I meant a drink or a hug or something like that! I didn't mean come and fuck me if you want to!" Blaine yelled.

"Fine!" Kurt said, flinging the bed covers back and getting out of bed. He practically stomped towards the door, pausing and turning back to Blaine as he reached for the handle. "Did you not stop and think that maybe fucking you is the only thing I _do_ need, Blaine? That maybe I needed something, anything, to distract me, to make me forget how fucked up my life is today? Or maybe that I needed my best friend to make me feel loved and wanted, like there was still someone around who cared for me?" Kurt said, tears falling down his cheeks. "I guess not because instead you've just made me feel embarrassed and fucking stupid!"

"That's not fair…" Blaine started.

"No, Blaine!" Kurt yelled suddenly, "You know what isn't fair? Being 27 and having two dead parents! That's what isn't fucking fair!" Kurt yanked the door open.

"Kurt…" Blaine stepped towards him.

"Fuck you, Blaine," Kurt mumbled through narrow eyes before striding out of the room and slamming the door. Blaine's winced as the sound of the door slamming shut shook through him. His shoulders slumped and he walked to the end of his bed, sitting down and putting his head in his hands. This wasn't supposed to be like this. He knew that dealing with this would be difficult but there was no way he could've imagined this. He thought about Kurt's words as they swam through his head, wondering if he was right. He wanted Kurt to feel wanted and loved but, was this really the way to do it? He certainly hated the fact that Kurt felt so embarrassed now. Blaine sat for a few minutes, unmoving, thinking things over until he made a decision. Reaching for his nightstand, he grabbed a small bottle and pocketed it before quietly walking out of the room and to his guest room.

His heart thumping, he paused for a few seconds, taking a deep breath, before opening the door gently and bit his lip as he could hear Kurt crying softly the second he did. He quietly shut the door, hearing Kurt's sniffs falter as he heard Blaine walk in. He shuffled over to Kurt's bed and got into it with him, instantly pulling him into his body and kissing him softly. After a few minutes, he pulled away, trying to search Kurt's eyes as best he could in the dark.

"Are you sure?" He whispered. Kurt nodded his head vigorously in response. "Ok," he said quietly before pulling Kurt back into him to kiss him again. He started to explore Kurt's mouth with his tongue, tasting his tears on his lips slightly and ran his hands softly down the front of Kurt's chest, to the bottom of his t-shirt. He pressed Kurt back into the bed and started to move on top of him as he ran his fingers gently across Kurt's stomach before slowly bending down and starting to kiss his way up Kurt's torso as he pushed his t-shirt up and over his head. He pulled back slightly to remove his own t-shirt before dipping his head down to flick his tongue lightly over Kurt's nipple. Kurt whimpered softly as he did, piercing the silence in the room as he arched his back slightly to press into Blaine's tongue a bit more.

Moving to mouth at the crook of Kurt's neck, Blaine started fiddling with the drawstring of Kurt's pants, undoing it so he could remove them before taking off his own, trying his best not to move from kissing and nipping his way along Kurt's shoulder as he did. Kurt moaned gently and tipped his head giving Blaine better access to his neck as his pants were being removed. Blaine shuffled himself further down the bed, bringing his face down to where Kurt's cock was and lovingly licked the tip, tasting Kurt's precome, before surrounding Kurt's cock with his mouth. He started slowly moving up and down, teasing Kurt by swirling his tongue around the head every time he pulled back. He felt Kurt's hands started to bunch into his hair as he started moving faster, and deeper. It was only when Kurt started moaning loudly and bucking his hips towards him that Blaine stopped and pulled away slightly. He ran his tongue lightly over Kurt's perineum, lifting his hips gently to give him better access, before pushing Kurt's thighs up and out, and slowly licking into Kurt's hole.

"Blaine…" Kurt moaned gently, his head tipping back in pleasure as Blaine started to push his tongue in and out of Kurt in a steady pattern, gradually speeding up and until Kurt seemed to be trembling with anticipation. He pulled away, licking a long line up Kurt's body over his balls, to his cock, then all the way up his torso to his mouth. Kurt pulled Blaine towards him and kissed him unsteadily, sucking his lower lip into his mouth and humming against it. Blaine deepened the kiss for a second before pulling away to reach the lube that he'd pocketed before he came into the room.

He covered his fingers before he returned to kiss Kurt gently. He reached down and started circling Kurt's hole, only pressing the first finger in when Kurt started moaning loudly with want. Kurt gasped against Blaine's mouth as he felt himself starting to be filled up. He breathed deeply and relaxed as soon as possible, allowing Blaine to press a second and then a third finger into him, stretching him as gently as he possibly could. As Blaine pressed his fingers into Kurt, he didn't stop kissing him deeply, playing with Kurt's tongue, sucking on it every so often before going back to pushing his own into Kurt's mouth. It was sloppy but it was perfect for Kurt at that moment.

Once he felt he was ready, Blaine pulled his fingers out of Kurt and reached to start covering his cock in lube.

"Hang on," Kurt said, stopping him, before reaching for his wallet. He pressed a condom into Blaine's hands, avoiding eye contact with him. Blaine glanced at it for a second.

"You know I haven't got anything…" He said quietly.

"I know." Kurt nodded. Blaine was slightly confused as to why Kurt was asking him to wear a condom when he hadn't the last time they'd had sex, and hadn't seemed to have a problem with it either but he shrugged it off. This was sex for Kurt's sake, not for his so, if that was what Kurt wanted then that was what he was going to get. Blaine rolled the condom on, re-covering his cock in lube, pumping a few times before starting to line it up to Kurt's hole.

"Ok?" He checked, glancing at Kurt who just nodded. He pushed himself into Kurt agonisingly slowly, feeling his body go into overdrive as he felt Kurt's warm heat surround his cock. Kurt moaned gently as Blaine pressed into him, biting his lip to keep from screaming already at how good it felt. Once he was fully inside, Blaine leant over Kurt's body, bracing himself either side of his face as he bent down and pressed a small, sweet kiss to Kurt's lips.

"I'm not gonna come until you do, ok?" Blaine whispered into Kurt's ear, causing Kurt's heart to flutter slightly as he nodded gently. Blaine watched Kurt, softly pressing small kisses to his cheek, neckline and ear, as he started to pull out and thrust into him. Each time he thrusted Kurt whimpered a little louder than before and it only encouraged him to thrust harder and faster, loving the sounds Kurt was making. He could feel Kurt's cock pressing between their stomachs and held onto him tighter.

"Blaine… yes…" Kurt gasped out as his body started to tense up with the extra stimulation his cock was getting. Blaine could feel Kurt start to tighten around him and tried desperately to control his shuddering body, holding back his orgasm until Kurt said so. "Blaine… Blaine…" Kurt moaned louder. "I'm gonna… I'm gonna come… _Blaine!_" Kurt's body tensed up tightly and Blaine could feel warm liquid starting to splash across their stomachs. He finally let his body go and instantly felt himself tremble and tense as he continued to thrust into Kurt, groaning loudly as he came deep inside of him.

He gradually slowed down his thrusts once the wave of orgasm was starting to die down, leaving behind the familiar buzz that he loved so much, both of them trying desperately to catch their breath, before pulling out of Kurt. He leant down and tenderly moved his tongue across Kurt's stomach, cleaning the come off of him before grabbing a few tissues from the nightstand to clean himself. He threw them and his condom away before crawling back into the bed with Kurt. He wrapped him up into his arms and noticed that Kurt had already fallen into a contented sleep. He nuzzled Kurt's neck gently, causing Kurt to hum in his sleep. He gazed upon his friend's satisfied face and felt glad that he chose to at least give him this. Especially considering how difficult Kurt was almost certainly going to find the next few weeks. He tried not to think about it as he pulled Kurt closer to him and fell asleep too.


	19. 9th October 2021

**Just to let you guys know, I had to change my username because of an invasion of privacy from someone I know so I used to be Aslongastherearestarsaboveyou and now I'm getwhatyouwantorjustgetold - thanks :)**

* * *

><p>9th October 2021<p>

It was an unusually sunny day for the time of year but, for that, Kurt was grateful. He wasn't sure if he could handle it if the weather mirrored how he felt. He took a gulp as he let Blaine adjust his tie. He knew how to do it himself but, ever since he'd turned up at his house that morning, just over a week ago, Blaine had been set on caring for Kurt and doing everything he could to make the process as easy as possible and Kurt was fine with that.

"Are you ready?" Blaine asked, holding Kurt's shoulders as he did.

"I don't think I'll ever be ready." Kurt whispered, a few tears falling onto his cheeks. Blaine leaned in and hugged him tightly, rubbing his back gently and kissing the crook of his neck. Kurt moved his head to rest on Blaine's shoulder and they stood like that, unmoving for a few minutes.

"We have to go," Blaine spoke gently, pulling away from Kurt who just nodded silently and let himself be led out of the house to the hearse waiting outside. He took a deep breath, trying to avoid looking at the one that held the casket, and climbed into the back of the car that was there for them. Blaine followed shortly after and automatically slid close to Kurt and clasped his hand tightly.

The whole way to the crematorium neither of them spoke. Blaine sat watching Kurt, prepared for any signs that he might break down. Kurt sat gazing out of the window, watching the people of Lima as they went about their daily lives. He considered how none of these people would get the chance to know his father now. To meet one of the best people he'd ever known because he wasn't there anymore, walking among them. A tear slowly rolled down Kurt's cheek as he thought about it. After a few seconds, he heard Blaine shift closer to him and felt his strong thumb wipe across his cheek. He turned back to him and half-smiled before resting his head on Blaine's shoulder and allowing him to wrap one arm around Kurt's shoulders, grabbing his hand with the other. They stayed like that until they reached the crematorium.

As they walked in, behind the casket, Blaine was astounded at how many people had turned up to say goodbye to Burt Hummel. Kurt was unsurprised, though. He knew that Burt had done a lot of great work as congressman and changed a lot of lives, being a special inspiration to a lot of the homosexual kids in the town. It had only made sense that they would want to show up to pay their respects.

The service started and Kurt couldn't help but feel the need to try and keep his emotions held tightly. He was delivering the eulogy and wanted to be presentable for it. For his Dad. He fiddled with the paper in his pocket, feeling nervous about having to read it aloud to everyone else and so not paying a lot of attention to the service. That was probably for the best, he felt, because he wasn't sure he could handle listening to all of the wonderful memories that everyone was sharing of Burt and not crying. Blaine glanced over and saw that he was fidgeting, playing with his speech and understood.

"It'll be fine," he whispered, as he leant into Kurt's shoulder. Kurt stared at him wide-eyed in fear but nodded anyway.

It came Kurt's time to speak and he slowly walked up to the front and stood on the podium, resting his eulogy on the stand. He looked out across the sea of people and felt a tremble inside his body. He glanced over at the casket as everyone was silently watching him and willing him to start talking. He was going to do this. He had to do this. For his Dad. He looked out at everyone in the crematorium again, feeling his vision cloud slightly with tears that he tried to blink back. He glanced down at Blaine, who half-smiled, supportively and nodded his encouragement. Kurt cleared his throat before starting to speak.

"When I was 8, my Mom passed away. I was inconsolable but my Dad managed to stay strong for both of us. It's only now that I look back that I realise exactly how brave that was and how difficult it must have been for him. I didn't understand a lot about why she was being taken from us, just that I would grow up without her. I could say that after that my Dad filled in as both a Mom and a Dad but that wouldn't be true because that wasn't who he was. He was so much more than that." Kurt paused and bit his lip, feeling his tears start to fall uncontrollably at the fact that he was talking about his father in the past tense. He sniffed and shook his head to try and stop the tears from falling so he could carry on. He looked back at the eulogy and tried to continue. "H… he knew… th… that…" Kurt paused again, his face crumpling in sorrow. He tried to wipe his tears away with the back of his hand but felt a choked sob spill out overwhelmingly. After a few seconds he felt a strong presence next to him as Blaine rushed up to the front and wrapped an arm around Kurt's waist, pulling him into his side. Kurt glanced at Blaine through tear filled eyes and slid the speech towards him. "I… c… can't," he whispered. Blaine nodded, understanding and let Kurt turn his back to everyone to try and wipe away his tears. Blaine stepped forwards and quickly skimmed to the point where Kurt had finished and started to read.

"He knew that he couldn't take her place, or replace her with someone else," Blaine started, speaking strongly, "so instead he put all of his effort into making himself better so that I wouldn't feel like she was missing. It didn't always work out that way, but he tried his best.

"When I was 16 I came out to him, expecting him to turn me away and reject it. He told me that he already knew and he loved me just the same. When I asked how, he said that for my 3rd birthday all I asked for was a pair of sensible heels." Kurt stood, watching the casket as Blaine spoke and smiled at the memory, hearing the small murmur of tearful laughter that rippled through the crowd. "That was the amazing thing about my Dad, he could take something that, for so many people, was and is so complex and difficult to comprehend and, with one small sentence, make it seem like it was the easiest thing in the world. He made me feel stronger and braver because of it." Blaine felt Kurt's hand slip into his. He paused and turned to see if Kurt wanted him to carry on. Kurt nodded to show he should keep going and so Blaine turned back to the speech.

"When he told me a few years after that, that he was running for congress, he made it seem like another easy choice for him and I knew that, not only would he win, but that he'd change people's lives. Seeing everyone here today makes me know that he did just that. You may not all have had a Burt Hummel to raise you, to come out to and to help make your school years easier but I'm so proud that you all had a Burt Hummel to stand up for you, to fight for your rights and to help you reach people and be people that you may not have been able to otherwise, without him. He may have been my Dad but he was a parent and hero to all of us here, and the world is a bleaker place without him in it."

Blaine felt Kurt press into his side and he turned to hug him, letting Kurt cry on his shoulder for a few seconds.

"Thank you," Kurt whispered into his ear. Blaine simply squeezed his hand tighter and, quietly, led him back to their seats to let the service continue.

After the service, they started heading back to Kurt's childhood home for the wake, leaving Carole to deal with Burt's ashes as Kurt felt unable to cope with that part of the process, not wanting to remember his Dad as merely ashes in an urn. Once back at the house, both of the boys instantly headed to the kitchen and started working on putting food out for the guests who were gradually filing in with comments about how lovely the service was.

"Thanks again for taking over the speech," Kurt said quietly, as he laid out sandwiches onto a platter.

"It's not a problem." Blaine responded quietly, uncovering some of the pre-prepared food.

"I feel a bit like I let him down." Kurt bit his lip and gazed into the food at the admission.

"Hey, no," Blaine said, turning to Kurt. "No-one expected you to be able to keep it together, Kurt. It's not a weakness to be upset." He rubbed Kurt's arm gently. "It was a fantastic eulogy too, he would've been proud." He smiled to Kurt and started reaching over for his hand as a lady Blaine didn't know, who smelt very strongly of lemons, came suddenly into the kitchen and interrupted them.

"Kurt!" The older woman rushed forwards and pulled Kurt into a tight hug. "I'm so sorry for your loss."

"Thank you," Kurt said, suddenly standing up slightly taller.

"It was a wonderful service, you did such a good job."

"It was mostly Carole, to be honest, Aunt Louise." Kurt said, bashfully before remembering that Blaine was standing there. "Oh! Aunt Louise, this is my friend Blaine, Blaine this is Aunt Louise, she's an old family friend."

"Practically helped to raise him!" She said, grinning, as she clasped Blaine's hands in her own. Blaine noticed Kurt roll his eyes behind her back as she shook his hand. "It's so lovely to meet you, dear. That was such an admirable thing you did getting up and finishing his speech for him." She stepped back and patted Kurt, patronisingly on the cheek. "_Such_ a shame you weren't brave enough to do it yourself," she said, overtly pouting for a second before turning back to Blaine.

Blaine frowned, opening his mouth to defend Kurt when he saw Kurt shake his head behind her and mouth, _don't bother_. He rolled his eyes and smiled gently before Aunt Louise suddenly pulled Blaine in for a hug, mistaking his frown for him being upset.

"Oh my poor darling!" She said, practically burying his face in her breasts before letting him pull away. Blaine, who was starting to get red in the face, could see Kurt silently giggling behind him and willed himself to not start laughing too. "We'll all miss Burt so terribly. I imagine you're just as much a part of the family as I am by now, aren't you?" She said, pouting again, before pulling him, and Kurt, back into another hug. "My poor boys." She said loudly, finally releasing them once more. "If you ever need anything at all, you know where to find me, yes?" They stole a glance at each other before nodding silently at her, feeling like children again.

She finally stepped away from them, starting to head towards the door before stopping in front of Kurt and gesturing to Blaine.

"I imagine your father must have been so happy that you found yourself such a wonderful, supportive boyfriend." She smiled. "And so handsome too!" She said, before reaching and ruffling Blaine's hair like he was a puppy. Blaine frowned and resisted the urge to smack her hand away before she finally left the room and they both stood stunned for a second.

"What the _hell_ was that?" Blaine said, dumbfounded as Kurt fell to the floor in fits of giggles.

"_That_ was Aunt Louise," Kurt grinned as Blaine sat down next to him on the kitchen floor and they leant up against one of the counters. "She's not really my Aunt but someone Dad went to school with who, apparently, had a huge crush on him. She's basically been trying to worm her way into the family for years and Dad was too kind to tell her to leave us alone. He never reciprocated her feelings so she just got me to call her Aunt so that she felt a part of the family." He sighed. "She's harmless really but… yeah… a bit full on…"

"That's an understatement." Blaine smiled. They fell into silence for a moment and Blaine noticed that Kurt seemed to be completely lost in his thoughts, playing with his fingers in his lap.

"My Dad really liked you, you know." Kurt said contemplatively, breaking the silence.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." Kurt nodded. "He always said that he thought I should marry you one day and he didn't understand why we hadn't already become boyfriends seeing as he said that we acted like them all the time." Kurt smiled gently and chuckled to himself. "He told me once that he wanted to get gay marriage legalised in Ohio just so that it might encourage us to get together."

"The man had good taste." Blaine joked.

"Yeah…" Kurt said thoughtfully, "Yeah he did…" He shuffled closer to Blaine and rested his head gently on his shoulder for a second until Rachel came rushing into the kitchen, bursting through the calm atmosphere that they had.

"Oh!" She paused, startled, gazing at them both sitting on the floor. "Sorry to interrupt but, people are starting to get hungry… I'm worried there might be a mob!" She said before rushing back out of the room again. Kurt laughed and rolled his eyes at how dramatic she was before they both got to their feet and picked up the platters.

"Here goes nothing…" Kurt said, raising his eyebrows because he knew that people would be all over him the second he stepped through those doors. Blaine placed his hand on Kurt's wrist gently, stopping him from moving just yet and placed a small kiss to Kurt's cheek, lingering for a second longer than normal.

"It'll be fine." He whispered into his ear, not just referring to the wake, but, really, to Kurt's whole life. "Courage."


	20. 25th October 2021

25th October 2021

"Blaine…" Kurt sang quietly into Blaine's ear. "Blaine, wake up…" Blaine grumbled into his pillow as he started to stir. "Come on, Blaine, you've got to go to work!" Kurt said, a little more insistently, running his hand down Blaine's back where the covers had shifted.

"No…" Blaine mumbled, still face down into the pillow.

"Don't make me jump on you, Blaine…" Kurt smiled.

"I'd be fine with you jumping on me," Blaine shifted his head to the side and smiled at Kurt through squinting eyes. He rubbed them to wake up before rolling onto his back.

"Well, you're moving now so I don't have to…" Kurt smiled. "Coffee?" Kurt held the freshly made cup close enough to Blaine that he could smell it. He smiled and followed the mug until he was sitting up, when Kurt handed it to him.

"I like you… you can stay…" He joked as he took a sip. "Although you really don't have to make me coffee every morning, Kurt."

"The fact that you've let me stay here without asking any questions these past few weeks means I do… and I want to, anyway." Kurt smiled, perching on the side of the bed. "You need to have breakfast too, but you're gonna have to eat fast or you'll be late for work…"

"No I won't," Blaine shook his head. "I've taken the week off."

"Oh, really?"

"Yeah, I know you said you wanted to start sorting through your Dad's house this week. I figured you might need some support and spare hands for heavy lifting."

"That's implies you're able to do any heavy lifting, shorty…" Kurt giggled.

"Mean!" Blaine said, in mock horror. "Unless you meant it like rappers mean it… in which case, thanks!" Blaine grinned cheekily, taking another sip of coffee and humming slightly. "This is really nice…"

"Thanks, it's fresh," Kurt smiled.

"No… I meant you being here…." Blaine said, biting his lip. "I mean… I know it's under just _awful_ circumstances but… I really like you being here… I've… I've missed you, Kurt." He said trying to reach out for Kurt's hand. Kurt pulled away and stood up, not wanting to talk about the past few months where they basically hadn't been communicating very well, if at all. He knew he had to stop being so awful to Blaine as he was trying to get over him and the fact that Blaine had been so there for him since his Dad's death showed him that even more. However, that didn't mean that he wanted to talk to Blaine about it at all. How would he in any way even begin to explain to his best friend that he hadn't been talking to him because he'd been trying to stop being so in love with him?

"We should probably get started with breakfast or we'll never get anything done today," he said clearing his throat as he backed away from Blaine before leaving the room altogether.

Blaine got out of bed and followed him downstairs to help him cook breakfast. They'd gotten into a strange routine since Kurt had been staying with Blaine, getting so used to each other and their ways that it was like a dance as they moved around the kitchen and around each other.

That morning the breakfast was salmon and scrambled eggs on toast, which was something they both loved although Blaine would always get some of the eggs off of Kurt's plate and Kurt would always swap it with some of the salmon because, as much as they tried to even it out, they both always preferred the balance that way.

As soon as Blaine had reached the kitchen, he turned the radio on and noticed that Kurt was starting to warm the pan up. He, knowingly, passed him the eggs, placing some toast in the toaster at the same time. They started swaying their hips in time to the music that was playing and singing along, joyfully. Kurt stirred the eggs as they heated up and went to get the salmon out of the fridge. Silently, Blaine took over the eggs and let Kurt lean over his shoulder to add some milk, while getting carried away dancing together. The toast popped out of the toaster and Kurt, after having left the butter on the kitchen surface, dipped under Blaine's arms to take over the eggs again. Normally Blaine would've moved away at this point but Kurt, being distracted by their dancing, slightly misjudged the direction he was going in and popped his head up in between Blaine's arms, facing him instead of the cooker. They paused for a second as Kurt's body pressed against Blaine's. Kurt gazed at him, his heart racing at the close proximity. His eyes dropped to Blaine's lips for a few seconds as Blaine licked them, feeling self-conscious under Kurt's gaze.

"The eggs will burn," he said softly, considering whether or not he should just abandon the eggs and push Kurt up on one of the counters instead.

"Right," Kurt said, not paying attention and still gazing at Blaine. "Right." He repeated, coming back down to earth and spinning to take over the eggs once more while Blaine moved to butter the toast.

Blaine swayed his hips in time to the music and sung to himself, brushing past the moment they'd just had and making Kurt giggle as he reached over to pour the scrambled eggs onto the buttered toast, while Blaine placed the salmon over the eggs that he'd already transferred. They each took their plates to Blaine's dining room table and sat down.

"More eggs?"

"More salmon?" They both said simultaneously before grinning and reaching over to take what they wanted from the other's plate before eating. As they ate their food, Kurt's phone beeped with an incoming text. He pulled it out of his pocket to check it and Blaine watched as he grinned, snorted slightly and started rapidly texting a response before placing it back down on the table.

Blaine surreptitiously watched Kurt eat. He'd noticed how much like a married couple they'd been acting since Kurt had been staying with Blaine and he remembered back to the conversation they'd had on the floor of Kurt's Dad's kitchen the day of the funeral. Blaine was fully aware of the fact that Kurt hadn't seemed opposed to the idea of one day ending up with him, of possibly marrying him and, what with how they'd been acting too (he was certain that Kurt had almost kissed him in the kitchen), he'd decided that he was going to tell Kurt he loved him.

It had taken him a while to make the decision, weighing up the different options in his mind and, initially, he'd decided against it. However, with each passing day, having Kurt there had seemed more and more like second nature and, now, it had gotten to the point where Blaine didn't want him to leave. He couldn't even begin to think about what his life would possibly be like if Kurt did go back to New York and had decided that, that was reason enough. He'd tried to start the conversation in bed earlier but it hadn't gone very well, which he blamed on himself as usual. He'd decided to try again, however, and this was as good a time as any.

"Kurt…" Blaine, cleared his throat, his heart pumping fast with what he was about to say.

"Yeah?" Kurt looked up from his food.

"I have to…" Kurt's phone beeped again.

"Hang on a sec," Kurt said, grabbing for his cell and, once more, he let out a loud laugh at whatever the other person was saying before typing back to them. "Sorry," he said, placing the phone back onto the table. "What's up?"

"I have to tell you something…" Blaine said, soberly.

"Is everything ok?" Kurt said, frowning, "You seem unusually serious…"

"Yeah, I'm fine." Blaine said, putting his fork down to look straight at Kurt. "I just… I think we need to talk…"

"Ok?" Kurt said, as his phone beeped. "Sorry about this", he grinned, flushing slightly red as he picked up the phone once more. Kurt smiled widely as he read the text and, this time, Blaine noticed a slightly shy twinkle in his eye. It was the same twinkle that he got whenever Blaine complimented him.

"Someone special?" Blaine said sarcastically, raising his eyebrows in question as Kurt placed the phone on the table.

"No… maybe… I don't know…" Kurt grinned, blushing slightly as he played with his food. "Just some guy I met at the Lima Bean." Blaine was surprised at Kurt's response. He'd meant to be making a comment on how they kept being interrupted by Kurt's phone, he hadn't at all expected it to _actually_ be someone special.

"When we were there the other day?" Blaine said, confused as Kurt nodded. "How did that happen?"

"When you went to the bathroom. I went to get more sugar and he was reaching for the same sugar packet and our hands brushed." Kurt sighed wistfully. "We got to talking and it turns out, he's in his last year at NYADA… isn't that weird?" He smiled, his eyes widening in joy.

"Sounds like jailbait," Blaine mumbled into his food, kicking himself now for suggesting that they went to the coffee shop.

"What was that?" Kurt asked.

"Nothing…" Blaine said drily, already fed up of hearing about this other man.

"Anyway, we swapped numbers and we've just been texting a bit. We've got so much in common, it's insane."

"Does he have a name?" Blaine said, finding it incredibly difficult to hide his jealousy.

"Alexander. Isn't that just the _best_ name? Such a good, solid name," Kurt smiled shyly as he spoke. "Alexander… Alexander… great name," he giggled.

"My god you'll be drawing your name's in hearts soon," Blaine said with an unusually sarcastic tone that Kurt chose to ignore.

"Maybe…" He laughed. "He is pretty amazing… You never know, he could be _the one_." He said dramatically, giggling again as he finished eating his eggs. "Anyway, what were you saying?" Kurt started to cut the crusts off of his toast and automatically placed them on Blaine's plate, as he did every time they had anything with toast.

"Sorry?" Blaine said, as he glanced up at Kurt.

"You said we needed to talk," Kurt said inquisitively, picking up his now crust-less toast and taking a bite.

"Oh… that," Blaine said, swallowing heavily. "I… just… I was… just… thinking that going through your Dad's house is quite a big job and maybe we should take it room by room." He dropped his shoulders in despair.

"Good idea," Kurt nodded. " I want to start with the kitchen first, I think." Kurt said as he ate. "I know Carole's been keeping it in fairly good condition but I don't think she knows all of my Dad's carb hiding places. I'd hate for something to go rotten that she can't find."

"Your Dad had carb hiding places?" Blaine chuckled.

"Yeah. It was mostly after his second heart attack because we really cut down all of his food options. He thought I didn't know but, I did. I can imagine that there's a whole ton of bacon in an ice box under his sink, right now." Kurt giggled.

"I guess the kitchen would definitely be a good place to start then." Blaine said, finishing his breakfast as Kurt's cell went off again. He rolled his eyes as he placed his plate into the kitchen sink. He really, really hoped that this wouldn't keep happening because it was already hugely annoying.


	21. 3rd December 2021

3rd December 2021

To say that Blaine wasn't dealing well with Kurt's new relationship with Alexander was an understatement. It didn't help that, at least on the surface, the guy was perfect for Kurt. He was ridiculously handsome, tall, they shared all the same common interests and views. He was, undeniably, absolutely perfect. And Blaine resented that so much more than if Kurt had gotten together with someone else like Liam and he made it known as well, practically ignoring Alexander every time that he was around, or only making rude or sarcastic remarks towards him. Every time they were together, he watched, bitterly, as they shared so many shy hand touches, secret glances and were constantly flirting so much that it made Blaine almost sick to his stomach. Even when he wasn't there, all Kurt spoke about was Alexander and Blaine had made a point of actively trying to ignore him every time. He was acting ridiculously childish, he knew it, but he didn't care about it enough to stop it.

Kurt, on the other hand, was over the moon at having someone he could focus all his attention on. Someone he could finally tell he loved and who returned the feelings. He also couldn't work out why Blaine was acting so terribly towards both him and Alexander. He'd been so wrapped up in dealing with his Dad's death that he hadn't even thought about trying to get over Blaine but, now, it seemed Blaine was doing all of that work for him. The way Blaine had been acting was so out of character that it made Kurt even gladder to have Alexander to lean on, as he certainly didn't feel like he could lean on Blaine anymore. As each day passed, he found himself getting angrier and angrier at how selfish and horrible Blaine was being. He recognised him less and less as the days went on.

All of the problems between them weren't helped by Blaine being less in control of himself recently too, as he'd started drinking a lot more than he usually would, and a lot more regularly. It was the only thing he thought he could do to numb all of the feelings and thoughts that were constantly swimming around in his mind. Kurt had been woken up a number of times over the past month from Blaine loudly stumbling back into the house at ungodly hours of the morning, after another night of drinking and sleeping around. Sleeping around which he didn't make any effort to hide at all, telling Kurt, almost proudly, about his conquests, each morning.

Really, Blaine was just trying to get any kind of reaction out of him. He hoped to see any kind of small flash of jealousy, a tiny glimmer of hope, when he told Kurt about the most recent guy that he'd bedded. It wasn't working and instead, Kurt grew more distant, spending more time working on his laptop in the guest room than in any of the communal spaces in the house. Their relationship was breaking down even more than it ever had before. This wasn't just them growing apart, or losing contact, this was Kurt, making an active decision to distance himself from Blaine. Even getting to the point of almost hating Blaine all together. Now every evening, that Blaine hadn't chosen to go out drinking, they spent in separate rooms, ignoring each other and barely talking even when they were together.

It shouldn't have been a surprise to Blaine, then, that as he stumbled through his front door, for the third time that week, that he found Kurt, sitting on the couch, his face reddened, with a packed suitcase next to him.

"Kurt!" Blaine grinned, drunkenly, falling onto the couch beside him. He fell onto his stomach before managing to pull himself up to his knees.

"Blaine… we need to talk…" Kurt said, sighing heavily as he spoke, trying to not make eye contact.

"What?" Blaine said, a little too loudly. "No, we don't need to talk… we need to cuddle, Kurt, that's what we need to do," he laughed as he tried to wrap his arms around Kurt's shoulders. Unsmiling, Kurt shrugged his arms off.

"Stop it, Blaine." Kurt said, fiercely.

"Aw Kurt," Blaine pouted overtly, "you're so pretty when you're angry." Kurt frowned and glared at him.

"Will you just sit down properly please?" Kurt crossed his arms.

"Does Alexander tell you you're pretty, Kurt?" Blaine said, fixing his eyes on Kurt intently and ignoring his request. He started trying to push Kurt's buttons, trying to get a rise out of him. "Does he tell you you're gorgeous when he fucks you?" He said, as Kurt looked at him in disgust. "I bet he doesn't know the places to touch you like I do…" He crawled closer to Kurt, along the couch, who squirmed slightly, being able to tell what and how much Blaine had been drinking simply from the strong smell of alcohol that surrounded him.

"You really need to stop talking now, Blaine!" Kurt warned as Blaine pressed his face right up against his ear so he could whisper in it.

"I know what you like, Kurt. More than he does." He said huskily. "Does he know that he can make you purr like a cat if he touches you _here_?" Blaine moved his hands to the inside of Kurt's thigh, who stood up immediately pushing him away. Blaine giggled meanly as he fell away from Kurt.

"What the fuck, Blaine?" He yelled. "What is _wrong_ with you?"

"Relax, Kurt, I'm just trying to have some fucking fun." Blaine said as he flopped back into the couch.

"This isn't _fun_. This can't possibly be _fun_ for you!" Kurt yelled gesturing at Blaine as he spoke.

"Why not?" Blaine said, shrugging his shoulders, angrily. "You have fun with Alexander, and I have fun with whoever will have me! Why is that such a problem for you, Kurt?"

"Is that what this is about? Alexander?" Kurt said, narrowing his eyes at Blaine. "I know you don't fucking like him, Blaine, I get it! But I would've thought that, as my supposed best friend, you would've at least put up with him!"

"Ugh," Blaine threw his head back in frustration, "you are so _fucking_ naïve if you think that I'm pissed at you because I don't like Alexander!"

"Then tell me the real reason, Blaine!" Kurt said, throwing his arms up in the air, glaring at Blaine as he did. Blaine stayed silent. "That's what I thought." Kurt took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down. "You know your Dad called today…" He said quietly.

"Oh fucking great," Blaine rolled his eyes and sat up. "Another scathing review on my life, culminating in me being a complete and utter disappointment, no doubt?"

"Something like that." Kurt nodded. "He told me you turned up to work drunk yesterday, Blaine… Drunk!" Kurt shook his head, glaring at Blaine in disbelief. "I mean, really? What the fuck were you thinking?"

"I don't give a shit about my job and you know it!" Blaine huffed, crossing his arms.

"Then do something different, Blaine!" Kurt said, despairingly, "Don't just turn up there smashed out of your mind!" Kurt paused, trying to hold back again. "He said he can't keep covering for you and, if it happens again, you'll be fired! _Fired_, Blaine!" He said, shaking his head and trying to emphasise his point.

"Well, I'm sorry if I've _disappointed_ you, Kurt. I guess we can't all be _saints_ like you!"

"Don't do that, Blaine. You know that's not what I'm saying…"

"Then what are you saying, Kurt? Enlighten me, please." He said sarcastically. Kurt paused, looking at Blaine's unshaven face, his clothes were rumpled and his hair was all over the place. It made him sad how little he recognised the person that was sitting in front of him. He couldn't see any of the usual sweetness in his eyes, or the excitable child that always seemed to be bursting to get out. Maybe that was why he'd been falling for Alexander so quickly, because he did have those qualities and he missed them, he missed _his_ Blaine. Where was the Blaine that he knew… that he loved, or had loved?

"This isn't you." He said, sadly, shaking his head.

"Maybe it is, Kurt." Blaine said, his jaw hardened. "Maybe I've just hidden myself for all these years and this is who I _really_ am."

"It's not." Kurt shook his head again. "The Blaine I know takes responsibility for his actions… He's kind and compassionate, always willing to do anything to help others…"

"Well, maybe I'm bored of him." Blaine said, angrily, feeling his frustration at the world, and at himself, seeping out from his pores.

"But I don't understand why? That Blaine is amazing!"

"_That_ Blaine is not good enough, Kurt!" He said, standing up, suddenly furious at Kurt because, if he thought Blaine was that amazing, then why was he with someone else? "After ten fucking years, I'm still not _fucking_ good enough, am I?" he said, referring to the relationship between him and Kurt. Kurt shook his head, not understanding, as Blaine continued. "And it doesn't matter what I do, or say, that will never fucking change, so what's the point in trying?" He turned angrily away from Kurt and rested one hand on the wall. "What's the use in _fucking_ trying?" He said, punching the wall viciously a few times, not caring about the grazes that were appearing on his knuckles, making them bleed slightly. His whole body was still buzzing from alcohol, numbing the pain.

He turned back to Kurt who'd taken a few steps away from him. His face was a mixture of hurt and fear, a look which Blaine had never seen directed at him before. It bore down into his soul like a dagger and he felt tears start to pool in his eyes. He blinked a few times and managed to hold them back, hardening his jaw again, trying desperately not show Kurt his upset.

"I'm… I'm going home." Kurt said, decidedly. "I'm just so fed up with having to deal with this, Blaine. It's disgusting behaviour and, to be honest, I think my being here is just enabling it." He stood for a moment before, nodding certainly. "You need to learn how to look after yourself."

"Fine." Blaine shrugged, pretending to not care.

"Fine."

"You're not gonna be able to go anywhere now though, it's too early in the morning."

"I'm going to spend the night at Dad's house, and then head back to New York tomorrow morning." Kurt nodded. This hit Blaine almost more than anything else Kurt had said. He knew that Kurt hadn't spent the night at his Dad's at all since he was alive, finding it too difficult, emotionally. Blaine felt sickened, mostly at himself, that he'd hurt Kurt so much, he'd rather go to his dead father's house and cope with those emotions, than stay at Blaine's. Blaine watched, unmoving, as Kurt sadly reached for his suitcase and started to walk towards the door. He paused just before leaving and turned back around.

"I had so much respect for you, Blaine." Kurt said, a disillusioned tone in his voice. "I thought you could do anything, be anything... You were everything to me…" Kurt paused, sniffling slightly. "But that's just gone. You're just… you're broken. And I hope you get fixed soon… really soon… but I can't just stand here and watch you slowly kill yourself. I've had too much to deal with, with Dad, without having to deal with this too…" Kurt started to turn back to the door. "I'm so sorry, Blaine." He said, sadly before leaving all together.

Blaine stared at the door for a few seconds as he heard Kurt's car roar into action and pull away. He let a tear fall to the ground as the room seemed to spin around him. He lay down on the couch, trying to ground himself for a few seconds before sobbing loudly. He felt like he'd disappointed Kurt so much and he couldn't take any of it back now. He fell asleep, his tears staining his cheeks.


	22. 14th May 2022

14th May 2022

Blaine glanced around the restaurant, searching to see if Kurt was there. He'd already spent about ten minutes pacing up and down in front of the restaurant, considering whether or not he should even go in. The deciding factor was the fact that Kurt had come all the way to Ohio to have dinner with him and, really, Kurt knew where he lived and was very stubborn so Blaine realised that he didn't have much of a choice and walked into the restaurant, his heart racing. He did another sweep of the room and almost gave up when he noticed Kurt wave to him and smile gently, while talking on his phone. Blaine nodded his acknowledgement and walked over to him.

"Yeah, I know," Kurt smiled into the phone, "Ok… Look I've got to go, Blaine's here… Ok… I love you too!" Kurt rolled his eyes, pointing to the phone and mouthing _Alexander_ to Blaine in explanation. "Ok… I will!" He giggled again. "Ok, love you… bye!" He hung up, apologising to Blaine before getting up to hug him. "It's so good to see you," he whispered into his ear.

"You too," Blaine nodded and smiled formally as he sat down. "So, what's your news?" He said, jumping straight to the reason why Kurt had invited him to dinner.

"Oh, not yet," Kurt smiled. "Shall we order first, I'm starving?" Blaine nodded as Kurt called over to the waiter and ordered for the both of them, knowing exactly what Blaine wanted without even asking. Blaine, resisting the urge to point out to Kurt that he might have changed his tastes since they saw each other last, fiddled with his fork, spinning it on the table as Kurt spoke to the waiter.

"Would either of you like to order any drinks?" The waiter said, looking at them both.

"I'll have wine please, and he'll just have water, thank you." Kurt smiled up at the waiter as he ordered for Blaine, who glared at him.

"I'm not a child, Kurt." Blaine said, as the waiter left.

"I know." Kurt said, carefully. "But it's good for you. One night not drinking won't do you any harm, ok?" He said insistently. Blaine shrugged miserably and they fell into silence. "So…" Kurt smiled after a few minutes, "how's things?"

"The usual." Blaine mumbled, not really interested in having too much of a conversation about his life.

"I want to know more than that, Blaine." Kurt said smiling gently, reaching out and stopping him from playing with the fork by placing his hand over it. "How's work?"

"I still have a job if that's what you're asking…" Blaine said shortly.

"Please don't be like this," Kurt said, his eyes silently begging as he gazed at Blaine. "I'm not your enemy…"

"Really?" Blaine grumbled, "I find that hard to believe."

"I'm _not,_ Blaine. I really care about you… you're still my best friend…" Kurt furrowed his brow in concern. "Please… talk to me…" His thumb stroked the back of Blaine's hand soothingly, pulling Blaine's focus. He sighed heavily before speaking, feeling himself calm slightly at the feel of Kurt's hand on his own.

"You're right," he said, shamefully, "I'm sorry. Work's… work's ok… They've taken me off of that probation thing that they put me on after the drinking incident."

"That's great!" Kurt smiled warmly. "That's really great."

"I guess…"

"It is!" Kurt said, nodding insistently. "How about the… uh… the drinking?" Kurt asked delicately, not wanting to upset Blaine with the question. Blaine fidgeted in his seat. He hated that Kurt knew all about his stupidest moments, that night when he left being one of them. He hated even more that Kurt was never shy to talk about those times, whereas he would much rather forget about them and ignore that they even happened.

"It's under control… it's fine…" Blaine said earnestly. "I just… I was just having a bad time but… I'm past it now…. Really…"

"I'm so glad," Kurt reached out for Blaine's hand again, squeezing it gently to show his support. He gazed at their hands thoughtfully for a moment, circling his thumb over the back of Blaine's hand, who sat, trying to be as unreactive to it as possible. Kurt noticed this. He noticed that one of the parts of Blaine that had faded between them was just how affectionate he was towards Kurt and, despite everything, he missed it. "What happened to us?" He asked gently.

"You left."

"That's not fair."

"Isn't it?"

"No, Blaine," Kurt frowned, "you know I was only doing what I thought was best."

"Maybe… but I needed you." Blaine frowned. Kurt nodded gently.

"I know. I don't regret leaving but… I should've made it clearer that I was there for you, and for that, I'm sorry…" Blaine shrugged, trying to pretend like he didn't care. "I want us to be friends again, Blaine." Kurt said after a few moments of silence, raising his eyebrows in question. "If you're ok with it, that is? I want to just put all of this crap over the past 6 months behind us and move on… please?" He bit his lip unsurely and Blaine realised that, as much as he wasn't sure if Kurt wanted to still be his friend, Kurt was just as unsure about him.

"Of course," he said, letting the tension fall out of his shoulders, nodding and placing his other hand over Kurt's, clasping it in both of his hands. "Of course, we can move on." Blaine smiled gently at Kurt who gazed back at him for a few seconds. "Now," he cleared his throat, breaking the moment between them, trying to smile as brightly as possible and simultaneously blink back a few tears that were threatening to fall, "are you going to tell me your news or are we just gonna sit here staring at each other for the rest of the night?"

"Oh _that_!" Kurt giggled as the waiter brought their food over. "Well… uhm…" he laughed again, shaking his head in disbelief at what he was about to say. "I'm… I'm getting married!" He grinned at Blaine whose face fell as soon as the words had left Kurt's mouth.

"You're… You're _what_?" Blaine said, he was certain he must have misheard. Instinctively, he glanced down at Kurt's ring finger and, sure enough, a small silver band twinkled slightly in the light as Kurt fiddled with the edge of the tablecloth.

"I'm getting married," Kurt shrugged, delighted.

"To who?"

"To Alexander, of course!" Kurt smiled as Blaine looked at him, confused and aghast.

"Isn't it a bit soon?" Blaine's brow furrowed in concern.

"I don't think so," Kurt shrugged. "I mean… when you know, you just… know. And losing my Dad last year made me see that I can't just waste my life waiting for someone who'll never return my feelings, life's too short for that." Kurt bit his lip. He'd used that sentence so often to other people who'd told him it could be a bit too soon, people that knew the situation with Blaine, that he'd said it automatically, not thinking about changing the phrasing because he was talking to Blaine himself. He hoped that Blaine wouldn't realise that Kurt was referring to him. Thankfully, he was too wrapped up in his own thoughts to really hear what Kurt was saying.

"When did it happen?" He said, looking into his food as he spoke.

"A few days ago," Kurt sighed. "It was wonderful. He took me out on a boat that he'd hired and we drank champagne under the stars. Then he just, got down on one knee and asked." Kurt giggled again. "It was amazing… I had no clue that he was going to do it."

"Do you love him?" Blaine asked, seriously.

"Of course I do," Kurt laughed.

"No, Kurt, I mean _love_ him, love him." Blaine said, leaning forwards as he spoke. "Like you couldn't breathe without him? Like every second you spend not with him is a second wasted and any thought of him not being around makes you feel like you're about to choke?" Blaine spoke from experience because that was exactly how'd he'd felt about Kurt for years. Kurt fidgeted in his seat, suddenly feeling uncomfortable under Blaine's scrutiny.

"Of… of course… yes…" Kurt said, not catching Blaine eyes. Blaine paused for a second, considering Kurt's answer before speaking.

"Then I'm happy for you," he shrugged, feeling defeated.

"Really?" Kurt smiled.

"Yeah… Congratulations."

"Thank you," Kurt said, now beaming widely. "That means so much to me, Blaine." Blaine nodded as Kurt started to talk about his wedding plans. He had already picked out all of the colours that he wanted and all of the themes. "I want it to be black and white with accents of gold. Kind of old Hollywood… very classy of course." Kurt smiled as he spoke. Blaine watched him fondly, not paying a lot of attention to what he was saying but instead just enjoying watching his friend talk so enthusiastically about something, even if it was his wedding to another man. "Blaine? Blaaaine?" Kurt grinned, clicking his fingers in front of his face for a second. Blaine shook his head slightly, coming back into focus.

"Sorry, what?"

"Where'd you go?" Kurt giggled.

"Mars… It was a bit warm but pretty," Blaine grinned as he spoke.

"Ok…" Kurt smiled gently. "Anyway, as I was saying… I've got something to ask you and, I'll totally understand if you say no but I can't think of anyone else that I'd want to ask…"

"What's that?" Blaine asked, warily.

"I was wondering if you might… be my best man?" Kurt took a deep breathe, an uncertain smile playing on his lips as he asked.

"Really?" Blaine swallowed gently.

"Well… yeah… I can't think of anyone else I'd want to be by my side supporting me…"

"That's really sweet, Kurt but… I'm not sure that it's such a good idea," Blaine bit his lip gently.

"Why not?" Kurt asked, looking stung.

"I mean… we've not exactly been getting along recently and… I… I just keep disappointing you," Blaine said, his head falling to his chest as he spoke.

"No you don't," Kurt said, shaking his head.

"Yes I do, Kurt, I can see it in your eyes when you look at me."

"No." Kurt shook his head again, reaching out for Blaine's hand. "You've upset me and worried me, sure, but I could never be disappointed in you. As for how we've been getting along… well… maybe this will give us an opportunity to spend some time together, get back on track?" He paused as he watched Blaine thinking it over, still clearly uncertain. "…Please?" He looked at Blaine with pleading eyes, hoping that he could get him to change his mind. Blaine sighed, he could never say no to Kurt.

"Okay," Blaine smiled decisively. "Ok, I'll be your best man." Kurt cheered and clapped his hands together.

"Thank you," he said brightly. "We are gonna have so much fun!" He giggled before carrying on eating. Blaine smiled back at him, trying to ignore the sinking feeling in his heart that he could be losing Kurt for good.


	23. 15th July 2023

15th July 2023

"I've decided we're in a fight!" Kurt declared as they skipped through the streets of New York.

"What?" Blaine said, laughing loudly. "That's ridiculous!" He laughed again and paused to tip his head back and enjoy the cool feeling of the night's breeze on his face.

"I'm not talking to you… we're in a fight remember?" Kurt giggled drunkenly and crossed his arms, pouting dramatically.

"Uh... Excuse me, Mr Hummel!" Blaine said, with a mock-offended look on his face. "I do believe that, just five minutes ago, you told me that this was the best bachelor party ever and I was, therefore, the best, best man ever!"

"Well I've changed my mind!" Kurt pulled a face at Blaine as he carried on walking, who just laughed loudly.

"I thought you weren't talking to me?" He teased.

"Damn," Kurt frowned as he realised he'd slipped up. "And by the way, Mr Anderson, I'll have you know that will be Mr Wilkinson-Hummel in a week to you, thank you very much!"

"Alexander's making you put his name first?" Blaine raised his eyebrows.

"Don't." Kurt said firmly, not prepared to have a discussion about it.

"Ok, ok!" Blaine held his hands up in surrender. "So why exactly are we in a fight?" He asked, changing the subject.

"Well, Blaine," Kurt said with all of his playfulness instantly returning, "because it is now the end of my Bachelor Party and I have not seen one single stripper in sight! I do believe that when you were planning this for me, I specifically said that the ratio of hot strippers to me should be at least ten to one! And instead I got none to one!" Kurt laughed again as Blaine play acted an over the top sigh.

"You're right!" He said, remembering their conversation where Kurt had mentioned he thought it could be fun to get the chance to see some strippers in action, as he hadn't ever before and, as he quite rightly put it, if you can't have strippers at your bachelor party, when can you? "However, sir," he said bowing slightly as he came up with a brilliant, albeit very drunken and last minute, plan, "the evening is not over yet!" He winked and started dragging Kurt along by the arm.

"Blaine, we're going back to our hotel room, the evening is most definitely over!" Kurt laughed.

"Just wait and see!" Blaine said, nonsensically. Kurt rolled his eyes and let himself be dragged along to the hotel that they were staying in that week. Kurt had decided that, in order to uphold some form of tradition, he wanted him and Alexander to not see each other for the week before the wedding, supposedly then making the day itself even more special because they would've missed each other. Blaine, being the ever accommodating best man, had complied, booking them into a large twin suite at a hotel in New York so that he could help Kurt with any last minute wedding plans as well as giving them a chance to have Kurt's bachelor party without worrying about bumping into Alexander.

They collapsed onto one of the double beds in the hotel room as they got there, giggling about nothing at all when Blaine suddenly sat up, dragging Kurt to sit on the stool for the dressing table that was in the room.

"Blaine, what are you doing?" Kurt giggled as he was pushed into the seat.

"You said you wanted a stripper, I'm giving you a stripper!" Blaine grinned with a twinkle in his eye. He skipped over to an MP3 player and turned some music on before spinning back around and starting to dance towards Kurt, undoing his tie.

"Blaine!" Kurt giggled as Blaine drunkenly shimmied with his tie in front of him before pulling it off from around his neck completely and wrapping it around Kurt, shimmying once more.

"What, Kurt?" He giggled, "I'm just doing what any good best man would do…" He fluttered his eyelashes innocently while starting to unbutton his shirt as he danced around the room.

"I really think this is going above and beyond!" Kurt laughed, almost hysterically, as Blaine slid towards him, turning around and shimmying his thighs against Kurt's knees to open them so he could wiggle his hips against his lap, grinding against him slightly, as he shrugged his shirt half off of his shoulders. He looked back at Kurt over one of them, leaning back into him to tease him, before shifting it back on to himself. Blaine spun around to face Kurt, grinning and swinging his hips around in time to the music, while running his hands up his body. He closed his eyes, getting totally lost in the music so he didn't notice Kurt's gaze swooping up and down along the part of torso that he could see as the shirt swung open, almost greedily. Blaine opened his eyes and started moving around Kurt's stool, running his hands along Kurt's chest, as he did, before running his fingers along his shoulders too, as he moved around. He started to move backwards, still swinging his hips and moved his hands to fiddle with his belt, fixing Kurt, who was still giggling, with as sultry a gaze as he could manage when he'd had so much to drink and was enjoying dancing around as much as he was. He didn't pay enough attention to where he was going or what he was doing and, suddenly, as he started to remove his pants, he felt his legs get caught and he tripped over heavily, falling onto his back as he heard Kurt snort out an even louder laugh than before.

"Ow!" He pouted, his head feeling slightly sore from the bump.

"Aw, Blaine!" Kurt said, still laughing and rushing over to him before getting on his knees, so that he could check if he was ok. "Are you hurt?"

"Just my pride," Blaine sighed.

"Promise me you'll never become a stripper," Kurt laughed, "you're not very good at it!"

"Rude!" Blaine pouted overtly. "I'm still the best, best man though!" He grinned and wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. Kurt laughed again before starting to get up. "No, wait!" Blaine said, grabbing his arm with an air of mischief. "I think I have hurt myself," he pouted again.

"Where?"

"My head," Blaine pointed to his temple.

"Let me see," Kurt said, concerned as he bent over Blaine to check his head. Blaine, taking the opportunity, quickly grabbed out for Kurt's waist, starting to tickle him mercilessly. Kurt yelped as he did, laughing hysterically.

"Tell me I'm the best, best man Kurt, TELL ME!" He yelled teasingly as Kurt wriggled uncontrollably beside him.

"Never!" He giggled loudly before managing to get free.

"That's _it_, Anderson!" Kurt yelled, laughing along as he swung his leg over Blaine's thighs to straddle him and hold him down while he started tickling too. Blaine kicked his leg up and flipped them over, pressing himself against Kurt to hold him down while still tickling. Kurt only lasted being tickled for a few seconds more before he was yelling, "Stop, stop! Truce!" Blaine smiled gently, removing his fingers from Kurt's waist and pushed himself up onto his knees, holding his hands up in surrender.

They paused for a few seconds, grinning wildly at each other, both trying to catch their breath. It only took Kurt catching his eye for a small second and, before Blaine realised what he was doing, he'd reached down and pulled Kurt's face to his, crashing their lips together and kissing him passionately. He heard Kurt breathe in deeply and suddenly, in shock, and, for a few seconds, he thought he felt Kurt's lips react against his own, moving slightly to suck gently on Blaine's lower lip until, realising what he was doing, Kurt quickly pulled away and got up, pushing Blaine off of him.

"Shit!" he said to himself as Blaine, still on the floor, gazed up at him. "Shit! What am I doing?" He put his hands to his head, a panicked look in his eyes before swiftly starting to head towards the door to leave.

"Kurt, wait! Don't leave!" Blaine said, jumping to his feet to stop him.

"I have… I have to go…" Kurt said still stunned and turned back towards the door. Suddenly Blaine could feel everything boiling up within him. All of the feelings he'd been having for Kurt for all these years, all of the anger, the hurt, the love. His blood started rushing to his head as it sank in fully that in a week, Kurt would be married, gone for good and, in a blind panic, he felt his body reacting. His mouth moved uncontrollably as the words that had been playing on his tongue for twelve years spilled out.

"I love you!" He called out to Kurt, feeling his heart race as the words tumbled out. Kurt stopped instantly on the spot, unmoving for what seemed, to Blaine, like forever as he waited for a reaction, for any reaction, from Kurt.

"What?" He said as he slowly turned to face Blaine.

"I love you…" Blaine repeated as he started to walk towards Kurt, slowly and swallowed deeply. "I'm… I'm in love with you, Kurt…" He sighed heavily, feeling his shoulders relax at the admission. He hadn't even realised how much tension he was carrying around on his shoulders when he was around Kurt until it was, suddenly, gone.

"N... no. No… you're not… you… you can't be…" Kurt shook his head as Blaine got even closer to him.

"Oh but I am," Blaine said breathily. "I love you. I love all of you, Kurt. I love your passion and your strength," he moved closer to Kurt again. "I love how stubborn you are, how fearless, how _beautiful_." He got closer still. "Oh God, Kurt, you're _so _beautiful and graceful and... and masculine…" his heart raced as he pressed himself up against Kurt, trapping him between the door and his body, trailing his hands down Kurt's sides as he finally let out everything he'd been wanting to say since they'd been at Dalton together. Kurt stayed silent, his eyes wide as Blaine pressed their foreheads together, gripping his hips tightly. "I love you so much, Kurt," he mumbled, feeling Kurt's heart racing against his chest just as much as his was. "I love you," he whispered, leaning in to kiss him again.

"No," Kurt said gently, just as Blaine's lips brushed against his own before he turned his face away from Blaine's, his brow furrowed, "I... I can't… I love Alexander… I have to leave," he said, wriggling out Blaine's grip. This was far too confusing for him. He'd moved on. He'd spent so much time getting over Blaine and now he was getting married to someone else because Blaine didn't love him back. How, after all these years of convincing himself that Blaine didn't love him back, was he now standing with that very man in front of him, confessing his love? It was confusing and not fair and he had to get away from that room, from Blaine, before he choked.

"No, wait! Please, Kurt," Blaine said, stung, as Kurt moved away from him. "Give us a chance, please! I want to be with you!" Kurt paused, his jaw hardening slightly as he turned to face Blaine once more.

"Give us a chance?" He asked, disbelievingly, as Blaine turned away from the door to face him.

"Yes!" Blaine said passionately, stepping towards him, reaching to grab Kurt's hands.

"No!" Kurt raised his voice slightly, moving further away, holding his hands away from Blaine's. "You… you had your chance and you blew it!" Blaine paused for a few seconds frowning from confusion.

"What? What do you mean?"

"I mean that I loved you!" Kurt continued throwing his hands up in the air. "When we slept together the first time, after my promotion, I was in love with you! I thought it was so obvious but it clearly wasn't and… and all you had to do was say you loved me! That was it and I would've told you how I felt. I was willing to drop everything and be with you completely. _All you had to do was say it_! One more time! When you weren't fucking me and I would've been yours but you didn't... you didn't…" Kurt felt tears starting to well up in his eyes. "You fucking broke my heart!"

"Wha…" Blaine started to speak but couldn't find the words, stunned at Kurt's admission. "I… I didn't say it because I thought that _you_ wanted to just be friends. You made a whole fucking speech about it saying that everything should just go back to normal afterwards. I was just doing what you told me to, as usual!" Blaine threw his arms around as he spoke, suddenly feeling angry about their missed opportunities and how oblivious he was.

"Well I lied!" Kurt yelled. "I lied." He repeated quieter. They stood in silence for a few seconds. "I have to go," Kurt eventually said quietly.

"No, please, Kurt." Blaine stepped in front of him, tears in his eyes. "Please… let's talk about this…"

"There's nothing to talk about…" Kurt shook his head. "And… and you can't tell anyone about this…"

"Kurt…"

"Please, Blaine…" Kurt looked at him pleadingly. Blaine bit his lip as he gazed back, not wanting to give in. Now that he knew that Kurt loved him once he suddenly didn't want to stop fighting for them but, Kurt kept looking at him, begging him to keep it a secret and all he could do was comply.

"Fine." Blaine looked to the ground, a lump forming in his throat.

"Right… Bye…" Kurt said, regaining some of his composure as he walked around Blaine and left, trying to ignore the despairing sniffs that he could hear Blaine making behind him. He walked straight out of the room and into the New York night, hoping that Alexander wouldn't question him too much when he inexplicably turned up back at home.


	24. 22nd July 2023

22nd July 2023

Kurt shook nervously as Blaine straightened his tie and made sure that the small flower pinned to his lapel was straight. They'd spent the day being pampered, at Kurt's request, and now it was getting close to the ceremony, they'd started getting dressed. Blaine's heart had raced as he'd watched Kurt put on his wedding suit. He looked more stunning that he ever imagined he would and he had to hold himself back from getting visibly upset at the fact that he wasn't preparing to marry Blaine. That wedding suit was not for him at all. It was for Alexander.

"I'm scared…" Kurt said, fidgeting on the spot slightly as Blaine finished adjusting his flower for him. "Do you think it's normal… to be this nervous?" He asked Blaine, gazing down at him as he adjusted his suit for the fifteenth time, his face pale from worry.

"Nah… I think you should duck out now while you still can," a voice joked behind them and Kurt spun round to see Lucas, holding a bunch of flowers and grinning as he walked into the room.

"Luc!" He yelled in delight and ran to hug him.

"Whoa there, Munchkin!" Lucas smiled as he hugged Kurt gently. "You don't want to break your flower!" Kurt stepped back grinning as Lucas re-arranged the white rose on Kurt's lapel before handing him the flowers he was holding and giving him a small kiss on the cheek.

"I'm so glad you were able to make it!" Kurt grinned, smelling the flowers and setting them to one side.

"Of course!" Lucas shrugged, "I wouldn't have missed it for the world! Oh hey, Blaine," he smiled and winked as he realised Blaine was there. "Still as sexy as ever I see…" Blaine blushed and grinned shyly, shuffling on the spot slightly at the compliment.

"Luc, leave him alone." Kurt nudged him fondly.

"So, how excited to be getting married are you then?" Lucas asked, changing the subject.

"Insanely excited… and terrified…" Kurt grinned. "It all feels like a dream to be honest… I can't believe that _this_ is my wedding day! _This_ is _my_ wedding day!" Kurt giggled euphorically, bouncing on the spot slightly. He didn't see Blaine, standing behind them, roll his eyes slightly as Kurt turned and glanced in the mirror to re-adjust his hair again.

"Well, everything looks amazing, you've done a really good job," Lucas smiled gently as Kurt frowned at his reflection in the mirror.

"Thanks," Kurt smiled, still fiddling with his hair just before huffing loudly. "Ugh, I would have a bad hair day today." Kurt said, spinning to face them. "Tell me honestly, do I look awful?" He held his hands out and turned from side to side slightly. Lucas shook his head simply before glancing over to Blaine, waiting for his opinion.

"You look gorgeous." Blaine said, quietly. Kurt paused, giving him a meaningful look before turning back to the mirror. "I… uh… I think I need to get some air…" Blaine said, suddenly feeling light-headed, "I'll… I'll be right back..." He spun around and rushed out of the room as he overheard Lucas ask Kurt what the hell was wrong with him.

Blaine hurried down the hallway and out of the house, gulping at the fresh air the second he got outside. He was finding this all far too much. Somehow, ever since the incident the week before, Kurt had managed to spend the whole week acting completely obtuse, telling Alexander he missed him too much to stay away for the week and acting exactly the same way around Blaine as he always did. Blaine was going out of his mind, watching as the time gradually crept closer to the moment when he would lose Kurt for good and knowing that there was nothing he could possibly do about it.

He used to be able to make excuses for the reason why they weren't together. He'd tell himself that he had never told Kurt how he felt so he could comfort himself with the thought that, that was why they weren't a couple. He knew he had no chance now, though. He'd told Kurt he loved him, he'd been completely honest, and Kurt had refused him. There was nothing more that he could do other than be as supportive and as good a best man to Kurt that he could possibly be. It was tearing him apart on the inside, though, watching the person he loved marry someone else.

He spent the next half an hour just walking around the grounds of the house that Kurt had chosen to get married in, trying to centre himself and work up the courage to walk back inside and continue with the day. He took a deep breath, feeling the air fill his lungs soothingly, as he gazed up at the ivy covered house. He had to admit that Kurt had really good taste. It was such an elegant venue, so perfectly suited to him. It was exactly the sort of place he imagined they would get married in. Blaine thought to himself automatically. Realising what had just crossed his mind, he screwed his face up slightly and shook his head, trying to get rid of his thoughts because they were not in any way helping him at that moment.

After taking a few more minutes, managing to calm down and prepare himself for what was about to happen, Blaine took another deep breath and headed back into the house to get back to the room that Kurt was getting ready in. As he walked along the quiet hallway he noticed that one of the doors was slightly ajar, with strained noises echoing out of it. As he passed, Blaine couldn't help but glance in and could see someone bent over a tea table, their pants around their ankles and Alexander, furiously fucking into them. He watched the couple's furious movements and was, for some reason, unable to tear himself away. _I guess they couldn't wait for after the wedding_, Blaine thought to himself, feeling incredibly uncomfortable about how turned on Kurt clearly was over Alexander if he couldn't wait just a few hours to be so intimate with him.

He was surprised to hear the sounds that Kurt was making were so much more primal and much deeper than he remembered, seeing it as indication of how open and raw Kurt was prepared to be for Alexander and clearly not for him. Alexander groaned loudly with want and tipped his head back, fucking into him faster as Kurt started screaming out his name, begging for more. Blaine frowned, not able to watch anymore and started walking along the hallway again, figuring that he'd meet Kurt back in his room when he was finished. Just as he turned the corner, he saw Kurt rushing along the hallway towards him.

"Blaine! There you are!" Kurt said as he caught up with him. "I've been looking for you everywhere! It's not long until the ceremony, we have to finish getting ready…"

"Kurt?" Blaine said, confused and looking back the way he came. "You're… you're here…" He said, shocked.

"Of course I am," Kurt laughed, "where else would I be?" It suddenly dawned on Blaine what he'd just seen and he instantly felt sick. He wasn't sure if he wanted to tell Kurt first, or punch something. Well, really he wanted to punch Alexander for even considering being with someone else when he had the opportunity to marry someone as amazing as Kurt. He sighed to himself as Kurt gazed at him, waiting for an answer to his question. There was no way he couldn't tell him, he knew that, but he also knew that it would ruin his wedding, his life, when he did. He took a deep breathe.

"You need to come with me." He said solemnly and hooked his arm around Kurt's dragging him to the nearest empty room in the house.

"Blaine, what are you doing?" Kurt said, baffled and laughing, as he was pulled into a side room.

"I have to tell you something…" Blaine said before he sighed, spinning to face away from Kurt and ran his fingers through his hair. Why was this happening? How could that asshole do this to Kurt? Why did the universe hate him so much that _he_ was the one that had to tell him?

"What's wrong?" Kurt frowned. Blaine turned back to look at him, fear in his eyes for what he was about to say. He knew he'd be there for Kurt to help him through this but, that didn't stop him from having to go through the emotions of it. It was all in his hands too, he could delay it by seconds, minutes even, have Kurt believe that he was still happy, still had the perfect life for just a few more seconds. "Oh my god, Blaine, what's happened?" He stepped towards Blaine, a terrified look on his face because Blaine wasn't answering him so he knew it was bad. Really, really bad.

"Ok," Blaine said, exhaling loudly. "Whatever happens," he said, taking Kurt's hands, "just know that I'm here for you ok?"

"Blaine, what's going on?" Kurt said, his eyes wide. Blaine took another deep breath before starting to talk.

"So I was… I was walking along the hallway just now and there was a door slightly open and some weird sounds coming from inside…"

"Right?" Kurt said, confused as to why this had anything to do with him.

"And… uhm… and I… I glanced in and saw Alexander and he was… he was having sex… with someone… I… I don't know who. At first I thought it was you!" He gestured to Kurt." But… but then I saw you and so I knew that it couldn't have been… and… and I'm so sorry, Kurt." He said compassionately. He watched sorrowfully as Kurt's eyes started to glisten with tears filling them. He bit his lip and looked to the floor, shaking his head angrily.

"I can't believe it…" He said quietly.

"I'm so sorry…"

"I mean, of all the low down, dirty, _selfish_ things you could do, I really didn't think this would be one of them!" Blaine was shocked to see that Kurt was now glaring at him, far more furious than he'd ever seen him before.

"W… what?"

"I mean, the whole thing you pulled last week was one thing but this? This is disgusting!"

"What _thing I pulled_?" Blaine said, his voice rising. "I love you… I wasn't lying, Kurt! Unlike that jerk off out there!" He pointed out of the room, referring to Alexander.

"So, what? What, did you think that because I didn't tell you I loved you back that you'd try to ruin my wedding?" Kurt yelled. "Or is this you trying to break me and Alexander up so you can get to me?"

"It's not like that, Kurt!"

"Oh, I think it's _exactly_ like that," Kurt narrowed his eyes. "Jesus Christ, Blaine!" Kurt ran his hands along his forehead, trying to steady himself. "Who are you? Who is this person you've turned into because it's not the person I became friends with?"

"Now hang on a minute…"

"No, _you_ hang on a minute, Blaine," he yelled, poking Blaine hard in the chest. "I make so many excuses for you, all the goddamn time! You drink too much, you party, you sleep around… It's like you don't care anymore!"

"Yeah?" Blaine said, feeling unexpectedly furious. He was doing the right thing, trying desperately to be there for Kurt and to protect him, trying to make sure he doesn't get hurt and _this _happens? He suddenly wanted to say anything he could to hurt Kurt, stung that this had been thrown back in his face, that Kurt had the nerve to trust a guy he's known for a year and a half over him. "Well, maybe you're just a spoiled fucking brat who's pissed off because you're not gonna have the perfect husband you wanted!"

"I'm a spoiled brat?" Kurt laughed humourlessly, "Really? Because I'm not the one who's living off of Daddy's money, Blaine!"

"That's not fair!"

"No _this _isn't fair! Kurt practically screamed, his face starting to turn red. "After all these years of standing by you, defending you, you just throw it back in my face like this?"

"Ugh, you're such an _idiot_!" Blaine said, slamming his hand into the wall. "HE'S CHEATING ON YOU!" Kurt stuck his jaw out towards Blaine, standing his ground.

"I might be an idiot but at least I'm not lazy and selfish!"

"You are _such_ a prissy ass!" Blaine said, stepping towards Kurt angrily. "And so fucking oblivious! I mean, I've loved you for fucking _years_. How stupid did you have to be to not see it? You know, it makes fucking sense that you'd be blind to this too!"

"I could say the same for you! And at least I can control my emotions, Blaine!"

"Please, Kurt! Don't act like you're fucking innocent in all of this, you know what you're doing! Maybe you've just been playing me this whole time? Maybe it's just that you like the attention?"

"Oh my god!" Kurt threw his hands up in the air. "You are such a jerk off!"

"You're a drama queen!"

"Whore!"

"Prude!"

"Asshole!" Suddenly, feeling wound up in the heat of the moment and wanting to do anything to stop Kurt from yelling at him anymore, Blaine rushed forwards, clasping Kurt's face in his hands and kissed him hungrily. Kurt instantly shoved Blaine roughly away from him and a loud smack echoed around the room as he immediately slapped him hard across the face. They stood silently for a few seconds, gasping for air as Kurt ran his fingers lightly across his lips in shock.

"I think you should go," Kurt said, trembling.

"Kurt…" Blaine stepped towards him to try and comfort him and make things better.

"Leave!" Kurt interrupted, looking as if his heart had just been broken in two. "I don't want to see you _ever_ again," he said as tears started to roll down his cheeks silently. Blaine, feeling a mixture of panic and sickness in the pit of his stomach, silently did as he asked and stepped away, quickly walking away from Kurt and out of his life.


	25. 8th February 2024

8th February 2024

Blaine sighed as his supervisor took the mug of cappuccino out of his hands and poured it away, giving him the look he always gave him when he failed to get the milk frothy in the right way.

"Come on, Blaine," he said sternly, "you're going to have to get this right soon or we're not going to be able to keep you on." Blaine nodded silently, praying for his break to come sooner rather than later. He turned back to the till, putting on a fake smile so that he could serve the next customer.

"Hi, welcome to Starbucks, how can I help you today?" He grinned emotionlessly.

"Blaine?" Blaine looked up and saw Lucas, grinning at him across the counter. His face flushed bright red. He was dreading the day when he'd bump into anyone he knew while he was working there. At least the first time was someone who he only really classed as an acquaintance more than anything. "What the hell are you doing here?" Lucas asked, his face lit up.

"Uhm… I… uh…. I actually work here…" Blaine nodded, still embarrassed.

"I can see that," Lucas smiled. "Wait… does that mean you're living in New York now?"

"Yup," Blaine nodded.

"That's so awesome," Lucas said, still grinning, his eyes twinkling as he stared at Blaine in shock.

"Thanks… uhm… I should probably take your order now or my boss is going to kill me or fire me or both." Blaine smiled gently.

"Oh hell no, I'm not ordering from you," Lucas laughed. "When's your break?" Blaine glanced up at the clock.

"About half an hour?"

"I'll wait, then." Lucas winked before starting to walk away. He quickly turned back to Blaine before finding a table. "Wait, Blaine, what's your coffee order?"

"Uhm… medium drip," Blaine said, slightly confused.

"Medium drip," Lucas repeated before smiling at him again. "Ok, I'll be right here," he pointed to a vacant sofa, "see you in half an hour."

Blaine felt a little awkward at Lucas sitting there waiting for him as he worked the rest of the first half of his shift for that day but, he couldn't help but feel incredibly flattered too that Lucas was so intent on talking to him that he was prepared to wait. He pulled off his apron as he walked out from behind the counter towards Lucas once his break had arrived. Lucas looked up from the book he'd been reading while he'd been waiting for Blaine, and smiled.

"Hey," he said brightly.

"Hey," Blaine half-smiled, fiddling with the apron in his hands as he sat down across from Lucas. He had no idea whether or not Kurt had told him what happened at the wedding. As far as he knew, Lucas might think that he was some kind of awful, selfish liar who would do anything to get his hands on Kurt.

"Wait here a sec," Lucas smiled as he got up to go and order the coffee he hadn't wanted to order earlier. He came back with two coffee's, placing one of them in front of Blaine. "Medium drip," he smiled, pleased with himself. Blaine laughed gently, thanking him and taking a sip. "So..." Lucas raised his eyebrows, smiling at Blaine.

"So…"

"I'm just gonna cut straight to the chase here, ok?" He asked.

"Ok." Blaine nodded, taking another sip of his coffee, his heart racing as he expected Lucas to start yelling at him or similar for the way that he treated Kurt.

"What the hell happened to you at the wedding?" Blaine paused for a few seconds, blinking a few times at Lucas, in surprise.

"Wait… what do you already know?" He asked, confused.

"Nothing!" Lucas laughed and shrugged his shoulders. "All I know is that you left the room and Kurt went looking for you and then came back about half an hour later looking like he'd been crying for a year. I asked him where you were and he said that you left and he didn't want to talk about it." Blaine bit his lip, playing with the lid of his coffee cup slightly. He should've known that Kurt wouldn't have stooped so low as to tell everyone what had happened. "So, what happened?"

"Well, the short story is that I saw Alexander cheating on Kurt on the morning of the wedding and I tried to tell him but he didn't believe me and thought I was just trying to break up the wedding. He told me to leave and that he never wanted to see me again."

"Why did he think you would do that?"

"Because I told him I loved him after his bachelor party. Actually, more precisely, I kissed him after his bachelor party and _then_ told him I loved him." Blaine rubbed the back of his neck with one arm, nervously. Every single time he went over the story, he felt like it made him sound more and more like a douche and he hated it.

"Wait… you finally told him you loved him?" Lucas said, leaning forwards and smiling widely.

"…You knew?"

"Of course I knew," Lucas laughed easily, sitting back in his chair. "I've known for years. I also knew that he loved you too…"

"Yeah… loved being the operative word there," Blaine said sadly. Lucas nodded. He wasn't sure if Kurt did love Blaine or not but, considering he didn't dare even mention his name anymore, he had no way of really knowing and he didn't really see Kurt often enough for him to delve any deeper anyway. "So did… did Kurt get married?" Blaine asked, not really certain if he wanted to actually know the answer.

"Yeah," Lucas nodded.

"Is he happy?"

"He seems to be," Lucas shrugged his shoulders. "Although, if you're right about Alexander cheating on him then I don't know how much longer that'll be for."

"I hope he's happy forever." Blaine said, decidedly. Lucas glanced at Blaine and smiled gently at him. His devotion was nothing but the sweetest thing Lucas had ever seen.

"Well, personally," Lucas said, leaning forwards as if he was telling Blaine a secret, "I think he's a bit of a fool for passing someone as incredible as you up." He winked as he relaxed back into his seat. Blaine smiled shyly, thanking him as he distracted himself by sipping more of his coffee. "So, how come you're working here? I thought you worked for your Dad or something? Unless your Dad owns Starbucks…"

"No," Blaine laughed, "I… I quit." He smiled. It was something that he actually felt incredibly proud of himself for finally doing. "I hated working for him anyway. And I got the opinion that some people thought I was kind of lazy and living off of my Dad's money…"

"By that you mean, Kurt," Lucas pointed out. Blaine grinned sheepishly.

"Yeah, Kurt." He nodded. "Anyway, I hated that he had that opinion of me so as soon as I got back to Ohio from the wedding, I quit. It meant that I lost everything, my job, my house, everything… but it was worth it." Blaine shrugged.

"Wow," Lucas furrowed his brow and reached forward to place his hand over Blaine's. "That must have been really tough."

"Yeah it was," Blaine said, slightly distracted by the tingles that Lucas' hand was giving him. "Anyway I, uh, I needed a job and wanted to come to New York so I managed to convince the manager here to take me on and here I am." Blaine shrugged, gesturing to the shop. "Plus he lets me perform once a week in the shop which is a fun bonus."

"Why New York, though?"

"Honestly?" Blaine asked to which Lucas nodded. "I thought it might bring me and Kurt back together again. Like my being physically closer to him might force him to see me. When I moved I tried contacting him a few times but he'd blocked his number and email address… I don't even know where he lives now…"

"I'm really sorry about that…"

"It's not your fault," Blaine shrugged as he finished his coffee.

"It's not fair, though," Lucas frowned.

"Isn't it?"

"Well…. Do you want me to be honest?" Lucas asked, concerned.

"I guess," Blaine shrugged, preparing for the backlash.

"Blaine, I love Kurt but you were there for him when his Dad died, you told him you loved him and still supported him when he turned you away and you tried to protect him by telling him about Alexander… When do things start working the other way around?" Lucas asked simply. Blaine's heart raced as he listened to him.

"What do you mean?" Blaine asked. He wasn't sure if things were supposed to be the other way around, was it really such a bad thing for him to be there for Kurt?

"Are you really trying to tell me that there haven't been times when you haven't needed him to be there for you?"

"I guess…"

"Has he been there for you?" Blaine exhaled and smiled gently, not sure how to go ahead with this conversation.

"It… It's not that simple… The things that I've needed him for have been… well… self-inflicted… I've lashed out… normally in Kurt's direction and he takes it… he's taken everything I've thrown at him over the years. The years I tried to ignore him, the years I've slept around, the stupid year that I started drinking…"

"Aren't you mad, though?" Lucas asked. "I mean, just the fact that you were there for him through everything with his Dad, sort of makes you amazing on its own."

"I'm more mad that he didn't believe me about Alexander," Blaine shrugged, staring at his cup to avoid Lucas' gaze. "Other than that, I'm mostly just sad. Plus, I may have helped him through his Dad's death but, that's not to say that I didn't throw a bunch of stuff at him just afterwards… Not to mention how awful some of the things I said to him once I'd had a drink were or the number of times I've practically forced myself on him when we've been drunk…" Blaine sighed, not sure if he was getting his point across in the best way. "Neither of us are perfect, is what I'm trying to say…" Lucas nodded, understanding at least a small amount of the complexities in Kurt and Blaine's tumultuous relationship over the years. "…I should probably get back to work," Blaine smiled, not wanting to talk about it anymore and getting to his feet. Lucas stood up with him agreeing that he needed to get back to work also.

"Blaine…" Lucas started, placing a hand on Blaine's arm soothingly, "I'm really sorry if you thought I overstepped by talking about Kurt just then…

"Oh, it's fine," Blaine smiled. "It's nice of you to try and stand up for me like that…" Blaine blushed gently at the attention and concern that Lucas was directing his way.

"Listen, Blaine," Lucas spoke hesitantly, "you and Kurt…"

"Yeah?"

"Do you think there's any chance of you two making amends and getting together now? Any chance at all?" Blaine paused for a second, considering the question.

"No…" Blaine shook his head. "Kurt's married and he kind of hates me now so no, I don't think there's any chance of that happening."

"Good," Lucas smiled gently, "then I'm free to do this." He placed his large hands softly around Blaine's face and pulled him forwards, kissing him lightly. Blaine moved his lips against Lucas' for a second, holding gently onto the front of his top to steady himself until Lucas released him. He stood in stunned silence, gazing up at Lucas who smiled softly and stepped away. "Call me, ok?" He said before leaving.

Blaine stood in his spot, astonished as he watched Lucas walk away, still feeling the soft touch of his lips on Blaine's own. He brought himself back into focus again and returned to behind the counter where one of his female colleagues nudged him gently, teasing him about the kiss. He smiled politely at her before carrying on serving the customers.

He'd never really thought of Lucas as an option for dating, always being so focussed on Kurt but, now that he thought about it, the guy was very good looking, kind and clearly very interested in Blaine. _Maybe_, he thought to himself, _this'll be a great way to move on from Kurt, finally_. His heart skipped a beat as he thought about what he would say when he called Lucas later because, if one thing was for sure, it was that, especially after how hot that kiss was, he would _definitely_ be calling Lucas later that day.


	26. 9th November 2025

9th November 2025

Rachel opened her front door and instantly pulled a snow-covered Kurt into her arms, squeezing him tightly as he sniffed gently against her shoulder.

"Thank you for this," he said sombrely, pulling away from her.

"It's not a problem at all." She responded kindly, taking his suitcase from his hands and placing it to one side in her hallway as she dragged Kurt through the door. "Do you want to talk first, or shower first?"

"Shower, please," Kurt said, shaking a small amount of snow out of his hair. She gestured to where he already knew her bathroom was and let him leave to clean up as she placed his suitcase into her guest room. She opened it for him and pulled out his pyjamas before going to get changed into hers, knowing that PJ nights always made Kurt feel better.

"Kurt, your pyjamas are on the table out here!" She knocked on the bathroom door and called in to him. As soon as he'd acknowledged her, she hurried into her kitchen to make popcorn and Cosmos. It was lucky that Rachel had known Kurt for so long, it meant that she knew exactly what he needed whenever he'd turned to her in distress. Aside from the death of his Dad, this was much worse than most things he'd had to deal with so she made the Cosmos stronger than she usually would.

Kurt padded into the living room just as she was laying everything down onto her coffee table. He flopped down on her couch and took a long sip of the Cosmo he'd been handed by Rachel before she had sat down next to him. He hummed as he sipped the drink, feeling it burn slightly as it slipped down his throat, and he pulled his knees to his chest, leaning and resting his head on her shoulder at the same time. He felt Rachel's arm wrap around his shoulders as her head rested on top of his comfortingly and he sighed deeply.

"Talk to me," she said quietly. "What happened?" Kurt cleared his throat. He ran his finger along the edge of his glass anxiously as he spoke.

"I came home early and he was… they were… in the kitchen… naked… ugh it's such a cliché," Kurt screwed his face up.

"Although I do have a penchant for the dramatic," Rachel said, kindly, "it being a cliché doesn't make it any less hurtful, Kurt."

"I know." Kurt nodded.

"What did you do?" She asked, stroking his arm soothingly.

"I yelled mostly. I called him a lot of names."

"How did that go?" Kurt rolled his eyes and shifted in his seat.

"He had the nerve to blame me!"

"Asshole…"

"Yeah…" Kurt turned back around and rested his head back onto Rachel's shoulder.

"What did he say you did?"

"He said it was because of Blaine! He said he couldn't compete with my love for him and that I drove him away into someone else's arms because of it…"

"More like into someone else's ass!" Rachel said before clapping her hands over her mouth. "Sorry, I couldn't help myself!" Kurt laughed gently.

"It's fine," he said kindly. "Anyway, I told him he was being ridiculous. I mean, for a start, I got over Blaine years ago and, even so, I haven't seen Blaine since the wedding, how could he possibly have played any part in our break up?" Rachel bit her lip, holding back on making any comments about Blaine. He was never really out of Kurt's life even when he wasn't in it. She couldn't count the number of times Kurt had been talking to her and started saying something about Blaine, a memory or a joke they shared, before stopping himself half way through and swiftly changing the subject.

"So what's happening between you two now?"

"Well… nothing… we haven't seen each other in years…"

"No, I meant you and Alexander," Rachel laughed. Kurt blinked a few times, realising his mistake and finding it very odd that his mind automatically jumped to Blaine when she'd asked that.

"I told him I wanted a divorce. He told me he wanted me to move out. Now I'm here." Kurt shrugged his shoulders before his face suddenly crumpled and he let a tear fall onto his cheek. Rachel pulled him into her arms, stroking his hair as she let him cry for a few minutes.

"He can't make you move out of your own home, surely?" She asked as he sniffed into her shoulder.

"It was his place first and I moved in with him, it's all in his name and I was stupid enough to trust him so didn't change it, so he can push me out if he wants to." Kurt said, wiping his wet eyes.

"But… you're married? Surely half of it is yours?"

"Not to live in, I don't think. Once we divorce half of it will go to me but, I think he can still kick me out. Which is fine," Kurt sniffed gently, "I don't exactly want to stay living there with him, anyway. It makes me sick just thinking about it…"

"It's ok, sweetie," Rachel said, hugging him tightly to her, "you can live here with me!"

"R… really?" Kurt asked, looking up at her from his place on her shoulder. "Are you sure?"

"Of course! I've got the room and we know we can live together after NYADA… It'll be fun!"

"Thank you," Kurt nudged against her shoulder, grateful that he had such wonderful people around him, and hugged her tightly. He felt more tears falling down his face once more as he thought back over their relationship. "I just don't understand how someone can make all of those promises on our wedding day, how he could tell me he loved me all of those times and yet be happy to go behind my back like this…" Rachel sighed heavily. She knew this would happen, that he would start thinking about their wedding day but she really, really hoped he wouldn't focus too much on it. She hoped he would brush past the details of the day, otherwise… "Oh God!" Kurt cried out, pulling away to face her. She winced slightly, knowing exactly what was coming and how terrible Kurt was about to feel. "… Blaine!" She looked at him sadly. "On… on the wedding day…" She nodded, knowing what was going through Kurt's mind. "He… he said he saw…"

"I know," she nodded again.

"And I… I didn't believe him…"

"Yeah…" Kurt sat staring into space for a few minutes as he thought about the way he'd reacted when Blaine had told him he saw Alexander cheating on him on the day of the wedding.

"I'm a terrible person…" He said quietly as he let what he'd done sink in.

"No you're not!" Rachel said insistently, as she shuffled towards him and rubbed his back gently. "You stood by your husband, that's not a bad thing!"

"Yeah… and look where that got me." Kurt said, glancing at Rachel. "And it wasn't just standing by my husband. It was blindly following. I didn't even think for a second that Blaine would be telling the truth, I just automatically assumed that he was lying, Rach. Why did I do that? He just wanted to love me and protect me and I pushed him away. I mean, I slapped him for Christ's sake!" Kurt threw his hands up in the air.

"He did kiss you on your wedding day… and after your bachelor party…"

"He loved me." Kurt said, shaking his head.

"I know…" Rachel glanced at him, wondering if she was feeling brave enough to continue this conversation. Normally, Kurt would get annoyed at her or walk away if she mentioned Blaine because he didn't want to be reminded of it all. She decided she was. "You know he lives in New York now?"

"Really?" Kurt frowned and glanced over at her.

"Yup. I bumped into him a few months ago. He's working serving coffees at a Starbucks in Manhattan. Apparently he quit his Dad's job just over two years ago…"

"…Just after the wedding." Kurt realised. Rachel nodded as he sighed heavily. "I… I told him he was lazy and selfish, just living off of Daddy's money… I guess he really took it to heart…" He put his head in his hands. "Oh God, I really am a terrible person." He said, the sound slightly muffled from his hands still being over his face. Rachel paused to watch him, nibbling on the inside of her lip thoughtfully before making a decision.

"I'm not going to tell you until you want to know," Rachel started saying, cautiously, "but, in the future, maybe once the divorce has gone through and things are less dramatic for you, I will tell you where he is…" Kurt took his face out of his hands and glanced over to her, kindly.

"Thank you but… please don't do that. I don't think I could face him to be honest."

"Why not? You both love each other and you might keep trying to tell me you're over it but I know you never will be. Surely it makes sense for you to be together once this has all blown over? You finally both know where you stand… you're… you're meant to be…"

"Rach, don't be so theatrical." Kurt smiled and rolled his eyes.

"I'm not! Think about it. No matter what happens to you both, all of the drama, the ups and downs… the amount of times you've fallen out or lost touch and… somehow you always come back to each other…" she shrugged.

"Not this time," Kurt shook his head. "I can't imagine Blaine feels anything but contempt for me now and he's got a good reason to. The amount of times I've put myself or other people above him…" Kurt shook his head in despair. "He won't love me anymore."

"I'm just saying," she interrupted, "that, one day, I think you're going to want to find him and when that day comes, I'm going to let you."

"Thank you." Kurt smiled gently, reaching out his hand for hers. She nudged him with her shoulder as if to say _you're_ _welcome_ before grabbing his glass for a refill. "Can we change the subject now, I feel like I'm going to crawl into a shame-hole if we keep talking about Blaine?" He called to her as she walked into the kitchen. Rachel smiled to herself. At least she'd been able to talk about him for a short while, knowing that once they were done, Kurt wouldn't want to talk about him at all. That was the way Kurt always dealt with things like this. She knew to leave him alone now until he brought the subject up, for fear of getting her head bitten off.

"Yes!" She said enthusiastically, walking back into the living room and handing the now filled glass to him. "Let's talk about how we're going to decorate your room!"

"Aw, you always know that interior design never fails to make me happy." Kurt grinned, took another sip of his drink, and shuffled into her side, warmly.


	27. 11th April 2026: Part 1

11th April 2026: Part 1

"Rach! I'm home!" Kurt called out as he walked through the apartment.

"Kurt? I… I thought you were going to be out all day?" She called back to him from another room.

"I changed my mind," he shrugged to himself as he took off his jacket and hung it up. "I kind of felt like relaxing here today instead. How do you feel about watching Funny Girl while eating all the carbs we miss the most?" He called to her as he reached their living room and placed his bag down beside the couch.

"Oh I… uh… I'm actually going out today…" Rachel said nervously as she stepped into the living room. Kurt glanced over at her and noticed that she was really dressed up. She had a fifties-style, knee length summer dress on, with a small white feather bolero tied around her shoulders. Her hair was pulled to one side in a bun, with tiny pink flowers placed into it as well as wearing dusty pink pumps and clutch to match the rest of the outfit.

"Wow, Rach, you look gorgeous!" Kurt said, a little taken aback. "Going anywhere special?"

"No, no." She said, fidgeting slightly and straightening her dress, "Just… just lunch with some friends."

"They must be good friends if you're dressing like that just to go to lunch." Kurt grinned as Rachel nodded.

"So you like the outfit then?" She smiled as she did a small spin for him.

"Yes, I like the outfit," Kurt smiled kindly. "Although you could use some earrings or something to just finish it off." Rachel put her hands to her ears, feeling that they were bare.

"Oh I forgot them, hang on I'll be right back," she said before spinning on her heels and rushing back to her bedroom.

Kurt shrugged and moved to drop his keys on their coffee table. As he did, he noticed a cream envelope with their address written on the front in gold script. It had already been torn open and had, what looked like an invitation half sticking out.

"What's this, Rach?" Kurt said as he bent down to pick it up. His eyes scanned across the invitation only really half reading it.

"…Mr Blaine Anderson and Mr Lucas P. Ashford… pleasure of your company… 11th April 2026… 2:00pm…"

"What's what?" Rachel said as she walked into the room, putting on her earrings. She paused as she glanced over at Kurt, who looked pale, and realised what he was holding. "Kurt…"

"Is this where you're going today?" Rachel fidgeted on the spot slightly, feeling uncomfortable under his gaze. She hadn't wanted to betray Kurt but equally hadn't thought of the best time to tell him. She'd been trying for a few months since she'd received the invitation in the mail but, there never seemed to be a right time to bring it up.

"Yes." She said, after a few seconds.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Kurt asked her quietly.

"I said when you moved in that I wouldn't tell you about him until you wanted to know. You never asked." She shrugged. "I'm sorry… I won't go if you don't want me to…" She said as she took a step towards him.

"It's ok," Kurt shook his head, looking back down at the invitation. He knew that any upset he felt about this was more over the fact that Blaine was getting married than anything else.

"Did you know he was dating Lucas?"

"No, actually I didn't." Kurt said, raising his eyebrows and still staring at the invitation. "Lucas' job takes him all over the place so we don't really get to catch up all too often…"

"I'm really sorry, Kurt." Rachel said, watching him as he played with it a bit, lost in his own thoughts.

"To be honest… it's fine…" Kurt said mysteriously.

"What do you mean, it's fine?" Rachel frowned, "Lucas was supposed to be your friend… he knew how you and Blaine felt for each other…"

"I mean that I… I sort of gave him permission…" Kurt said, fiddling with the gilded edges of the invitation, finding it impossible to let go.

"You gave him _permission_?" Rachel practically screamed, taking a few steps towards him. If she wasn't so tiny, it would have almost seemed menacing.

"Yeah… well… sort of…" Kurt sighed and glanced over to her. "When he helped me move out of Liam's, he told me he thought Blaine was hot but he knew that we were in love with each other so wasn't gonna do anything about it. I was completely oblivious to even my own feelings, of course, let alone Blaine's."

"Of course," Rachel rolled her eyes. This was old news to her.

"Anyway, he said he wouldn't make a move until he was certain there was no chance between us. After that it… it was sort of an in joke between us." Kurt smiled humourlessly as he started to realise the importance of the invitation.

"So, what are you saying?" Rachel frowned.

"I'm saying that _this_," Kurt waved the invitation in the air slightly, "means that it's over between me and Blaine. For good. Lucas is a good friend… he wouldn't have done anything unless he knew for certain that we weren't ever going to get together." He tapped the card against his fingers thoughtfully. It was amazing to him that, after everything, every little twist and turn in their relationship, it came down to this in knowing that it was the end - a small, seemingly harmless, piece of card.

"No…" Rachel took another step towards him. "No… that can't be true, Kurt… I'm sure that, if Blaine knew how you felt now he wouldn't be getting married today…"

"No, Rach," Kurt shook his head as he dropped the invitation back onto the table. "It's over." He stood, unmoving for a few seconds before turning to walk to his room, past Rachel, trying to ignore her pleas for him to stop.

"He moved to New York for you!" She said, suddenly, as Kurt walked away from her. He paused on the spot, not wanting to turn around and face her. "He made me promise not to tell you because, after he tried to contact you and couldn't, he said he felt embarrassed about it, but he did."

"That's not true," Kurt whispered.

"It is… He said that he hoped that being closer to you, living in the same state as you at least, would bring you both back together and it broke his heart when it didn't." Kurt could hear Rachel tentatively take a few steps towards him as his vision started to cloud from tears. "You know that he left his Dad's company because of what you said but, did you know he lost everything because of it? He lost his home, his friends, his livelihood. His family even disowned him because of how much they said he'd let them down and he didn't care because he hated your opinion of him so much that he was willing to go through that." Rachel stepped behind him as he wiped a tear from his face.

"Why are you telling me this?" Kurt mumbled through his tears. "You already know how awful I feel about how I've treated him, I don't need to know this as well…"

"I'm telling you because he's never looked back, Kurt. He's never regretted it. He did it purely to make _you_ proud of him, even if he thought you'd never know about it." She leant forwards and wiped the back of her hand across Kurt's cheek, clearing some of his tears. "Now, tell me, does that sound like the kind of love that would _ever_ fade? That there'd never be a second chance with?" Rachel paused dramatically as Kurt shook his head.

"No." He choked out slightly. Rachel moved around to stand in front of him and looked up into his eyes. She gripped the top of his arms, moving her head around when he tried to avoid her gaze so that he'd look directly at her.

"He's never given up on you, Kurt. Do you really think it would be fair for him to make all of those sacrifices for you, lose everything for you, only for you to give up on him now?" Kurt stood for a few moments considering her question. He nodded gently, making a decision. "Kurt…" Rachel said despairingly, thinking that Kurt was saying he would give up on Blaine.

"I have to stop the wedding." Kurt said decisively.


	28. 11th April 2026: Part 2

11th April 2026: Part 2

Kurt took a deep, steadying breath as he prepared to knock on the door inside of the courthouse. Rachel had gone with him to get there but thought it best to stay back once they'd arrived, telling him that he needed to do this on his own. Thankfully, he'd managed to get there about an hour before the wedding so hoped that he'd have more of a chance of talking to Blaine on his own rather than storming the actual wedding.

He'd been quite surprised that Blaine and Lucas had decided to get married in a courthouse. He'd known Blaine so well and, none of what he knew about him convinced him that this was his choice. Blaine was such a romantic at heart, he would want somewhere grander, somewhere more personal and intimate. Certainly not somewhere where there could be any number of weddings happening at the same time. Kurt felt that maybe this was what was spurring him on to finally take this leap and fight for Blaine. He felt like, maybe this was a sign? Maybe Blaine wasn't happy, didn't want to get married and so had settled for Lucas because he couldn't have Kurt just like he settled for this old courthouse instead of having something grander?

Kurt took another deep breath, not believing what he was about to do, especially after how awful he was to Blaine for trying to stop his own wedding. He tried to stop the word hypocrite from flying around his mind as he steadily lifted his hand and knocked gently on the door. After a few seconds, Blaine answered, grinning and starting to speak before he even looked up.

"Oh thank God you're here, I think these flowers are wilting…" he said as he swung the door open. His face fell the instant that he saw who was standing on the other side.

"Hi." Kurt said, smiling sweetly.

"Hi." Blaine answered seriously.

"Can I come in?" Blaine didn't answer him but walked away from the door, leaving it open. Kurt took that as a yes and followed him into the room, shutting the door behind him. His heart raced when he looked at Blaine. He hadn't seen anything of him since his wedding and so much had happened to the two of them since then. He looked exactly the same, though, just as handsome as he'd ever been. He bit his lip as he looked Blaine up and down, standing in his wedding suit. He wanted to cry just at the thought of how much that suit represented, how much he could lose from this wedding and he realised how sad he felt that Blaine was wearing that suit to marry Lucas and not him. It occurred to Kurt that this must have been how Blaine felt when he was getting married. The realisation made him feel even more terribly about how he'd treated him.

"You look good." Kurt said, kindly, as he gazed at Blaine, drinking in every inch of him while he had the opportunity to.

"Thank you," Blaine said, his face stern and unemotional.

Kurt noticed the flowers that Blaine must have been talking about lying on the table. He started feeling fidgety under Blaine's dark glare and turned to play with them, trying to distract himself.

"You're right, these are wilting," Kurt rambled slightly, "I think they've used the wrong kind of florist's foam…"

"Why are you here, Kurt?" Blaine interrupted, his face still hardened. Kurt paused, staring at the flowers, not sure of how to start this conversation but knowing that he needed to say something soon before Blaine got fed up with him and threw him out.

"You were right," he said, pursing his lips and nodding gently, still staring at the flowers.

"About?"

"Alexander. Me. Everything." Kurt glanced over to Blaine who'd crossed his arms and was leaning up against the edge of a table, staring at him. "He was cheating on me… and we… we split up."

"I heard," Blaine said, raising his eyebrows, still staring at Kurt. "I'm sorry." Kurt nodded his acknowledgement and suddenly started questioning himself. If Blaine knew that they split up and didn't come after him then maybe they really were over for good? "You broke my heart that day, you know?" He said, interrupting Kurt's thoughts. "And then, after everything, you blocked every method of contact with you so I had no way of getting in touch… I had no way to make it better…" Blaine spoke as if he was pained. He stared at Kurt for a few seconds, shaking his head, his eyebrows knitted together from the hurt and upset he'd felt over the past few years. "…Why didn't you trust me, Kurt?" He said as he looked at Kurt with pleading, hurt filled eyes.

"Because I was an idiot," Kurt nodded, turning towards him, his eyes starting to fill with tears at how stupid he'd been. "You were right about that too… and now I'm nothing. I have no husband, no home… I'm… I'm just nothing."

"You know that's not true." Blaine sighed, his expression warming towards him slightly.

"Only when I'm with you," Kurt said quietly, looking Blaine in the eyes optimistically. Blaine paused and pushed his tongue into his cheek, rubbing the bridge of his nose between two fingers before looking back up at Kurt, wrapping his arms around himself.

"Is this because I ruined your wedding?" He asked sternly. "Is this some kind of payback for that?"

"No!" Kurt shook his head passionately and took a step towards Blaine. "Blaine I… I love you… I always have… I was just too stupid and scared to really see it… I was far too afraid of being knocked back and rejected like I have been so many times that I was willing to let you leave. I was willing to ignore what should have been so blatant to both of us because I was much more content just having you around than I was with even dealing with the thought of not having you at all…"

"Well, how did that turn out for you?" Blaine asked, a hint of sarcasm in his voice. Kurt looked to the ground, ashamed that his actions had made Blaine seem to hate him so much. "…I was there for you, Kurt." Blaine continued quietly, after a pause. "I told you I loved you and even though you turned me away, I still came to your wedding, I still supported you… It took a lot of courage for me to tell you what I saw, you know…"

"I'm human, Blaine. I make mistakes and I fuck it up sometimes… a lot of times actually…"

"And what do you expect me to do with this information, Kurt?" Blaine spat angrily. "I haven't seen you in nearly three years. I am getting married to someone else… _today_! I've moved on!"

"Have you?" Kurt asked tentatively, not sure of what answer he expected. Blaine stood in silence, a blush spreading across his face as he avoided Kurt's gaze, and his question. Kurt paused for a moment, shifting on the spot slightly before carrying on. "Do you know we have a different past?" Blaine looked at Kurt as if he was crazy, completely unsure as to where he was going with this. "We both loved each other at school," he pushed on, "and we have a different past, one that I dream about every single night, where one of us makes a move back at Dalton and it's... it's a moment for us… where we can just start our lives together without all of the baggage, the failed marriages, lost loved ones, the arguments… where we get to share all of our firsts together. We go to my first prom together… have our first argument together… our first time… When I think about how long we've loved each other for and how long we've just been letting our fear get in the way, I can't help but think that, _that was what was meant for us_." Kurt bit his lip to keep from trembling as tears continued to flood his eyes. "You probably think I'm crazy," Kurt shook his head as he spoke, "but I can't help but wish we could go back and change things, to do something when we still had our whole lives ahead of us to enjoy together." Blaine looked away from Kurt as he spoke and Kurt stepped closer to him. "I know I've been selfish and I messed up…" Kurt continued. "We both have… but all I can do is start from now and start piecing my life together into what it should have been… but I need you in order to do that. I need to know that you can put this all behind us and start from now. Forget Liam. Forget Alexander… Forget Lucas… just you and me, Blaine." He reached forwards and pulled Blaine's hands into his own squeezing them tightly. Blaine looked up at him as he did and Kurt noticed that he had tears running down his cheeks. "I won't believe that you've loved me for all of these years and have somehow managed to stop loving me now because, I know, even when I was trying to convince myself that I didn't love you that I still did… I still do… love you…" Kurt looked down at their hands holding on tightly to one another. He was certain that Blaine still felt how he did, even after everything. "I love you, Blaine," he continued almost whispering. "And we can still save this, just…pick me, Blaine… please…"

"Kurt…" Blaine said, looking into his lap and letting his tears fall onto their clasped hands.

"Please, Blaine," Kurt whimpered, "I know that you'll never love Lucas the way you love me… never…"

"Lucas is a good man, Kurt, you know that." Blaine said. "He loves me a lot and he'll take care of me… "

"You'll get bored," Kurt interrupted. "You need someone who'll challenge you, who isn't afraid to tell you when you're wrong, who'll excite you… It's not Lucas…"

"Lucas has never hurt me the way you have, Kurt."

"I know… I know…" Kurt said, furrowing his brow. "He's not right for you, though… he's not me…"

"Kurt…" Blaine shut his eyes and winced slightly, clearly finding this extremely difficult.

"Just… just pick me…" Kurt begged in a barely audible whisper. "Pick me…" Blaine paused for what seemed like an eternity before pulling both of Kurt's hands towards him and pressing a firm kiss on them before looking up at him and placing a hand on his cheek and looking straight into his eyes.

"I'm sorry, no." He said decidedly. "I… I have to go..." Blaine pushed himself to his feet and took one last look at Kurt, who was staring at him in shock, letting his hands fall before swiftly walking around him and out of the room.


	29. 11th April 2026: Part 3

11th April 2026: Part 3

Kurt fiddled with his coffee as he thought about what had happened that day. His mind felt too full and too empty all at the same time as all his thoughts and memories swam around them. He wasn't sure what he'd expected to happen when he turned up at the courthouse but, at least now he could say he tried. He didn't just leave it to what ifs for the rest of his life. He'd certainly hoped that Blaine would still love him though, at least enough to talk about it and couldn't deny that he'd been slightly shocked that Blaine had refused him all together.

As he'd left the courthouse earlier he'd called Rachel to tell her what had happened and she had been just as shocked as Kurt at Blaine's answer. She asked him how he was and if he needed company but he'd insisted on being left alone, telling her that he just needed to walk for a while.

"Ok, well, tell me where you end up so I can come and get you if necessary,"she had said kindly and, once Kurt had arrived at the coffee shop, he'd been true to his word and sent her a text with the address, just in case. It wasn't anywhere that they knew very well because he couldn't even remember the direction he'd turned in when he'd left the courthouse, let alone where he was now. However, it was quiet and tucked away and exactly what he needed at that moment to digest everything that had happened so, once he'd ordered, he'd purposefully picked a couch that allowed him to face away from the rest of the room, desperate to ignore the fact that anyone else was there so he could just get lost in his thoughts, undisturbed.

After he'd been there for about fifteen minutes, he noticed, as he took a sip of coffee and started to consider how to piece his life back together, his phone flash with an incoming text. He considered ignoring it, wanting the world to just leave him alone but something made him reach over and at least see who it was from. He sighed when he saw Blaine's name on the screen. He opened the text and found one word.

**From Blaine**

Courage

Kurt rolled his eyes. He knew that this was Blaine's way of trying to make amends, clearly he still at least wanted to salvage the friendship. Kurt considered whether or not to respond to him at all. At that moment he felt like there was no way on earth they could be friends now, not after everything. Despite that, he still tapped out a response, almost feeling angry that Blaine had the nerve to contact him now, after he'd rejected him.

**From Kurt**

It's hard to have courage when the person you love is marrying someone else.

Almost instantly, his phone lit up with a response.

**From Blaine**

I wasn't talking to you, Kurt.

**From Kurt**

What?

**From Blaine**

I was talking to myself.

**From Kurt**

I don't understand.

"Turn around." The familiar voice spoke softly, directly into his ear, making Kurt's hair stand on end. He was almost afraid to turn in case he was imagining things and the voice wasn't real. He forced his body to move, placing his hand on the back of the couch so that he would turn, and, as he slowly moved his body around, Blaine's warm face came into view from his position kneeling behind the couch. Kurt took a sharp intake of breath, not being able to believe that he was really there in front of him.

"Hi." Blaine said, smoothly while Kurt was falling apart on the inside.

"…Hi," Kurt smiled, trying to hold back the combined laughter and tears that were threatening to surface.

"So, I didn't get married," he said softly, moving his fingers, which were resting next to Kurt's on the back of the couch, slightly, to brush up against Kurt's fingers.

"You didn't…" Kurt said, trying not to grin. Blaine shook his head.

"I love _you_, Kurt," the words spilled out uncontrollably in a sigh. "Nothing you or I ever do would ever, ever change that and I'm sorry that I let my hurt and fear get in the way of that… again." Blaine dropped his head and laughed at the last word, realising, yet again, how stupid they'd been. Kurt exhaled sharply, releasing the breath he didn't realise he was holding and letting himself smile widely.

"You have no reason to be sorry," Kurt smiled with relief, gazing at Blaine. "I was the one who didn't listen to you, I was the one who messed this up…"

"Oh, I think we've both messed this up," Blaine grinned. "But I think we can fix it… I want to fix it…" He looked away from Kurt, tentatively, somehow still doubtful of revealing all of his feelings to him. He'd built up such a wall that it was going to take time to break it back down again but he knew that, that, above all, was what he wanted. "I know this is going to take work, we'd be stupid to think otherwise but…" Kurt went back to holding his breath again as Blaine paused, trying to find the words to assure Kurt that this was all fine, it was ok. To let him know that they were both in the same position, both on even ground and that it would all get better. "We've made it through worse…" he shrugged, before dipping his head and smiling gently. "You know," Blaine continued, glancing at their hands and tangling their fingers together slightly, "I seem to remember, a long time ago, a young boy sitting with his scared best friend in his dorm and telling him that, no matter what happened, even if he was a _huge_ star in New York, that they'd still be best friends…" Blaine paused and smiled to himself, not looking Kurt in the eyes just yet. "… I was wondering if that offer still stands?" He asked, looking up at Kurt who rushed towards him.

"Yes, yes, yes!" Kurt gasped out as he pressed their lips together and pulled Blaine towards him with as much force as he could, kissing him passionately and not wanting to let go. Blaine laughed and clasped Kurt's face in his hands, moving his lips tenderly against Kurt's, fitting them together like matching puzzles pieces, feeling like he could happily stay like that forever because he didn't want anything else anymore. He moved to place tiny, quick kisses all over Kurt's cheeks, eye lids, chin, lips, ears before pulling him towards him for a tight hug. "I love you, I love you so much, Blaine." Kurt said, starting to cry as he buried his face into the crook of Blaine's neck.

"I love you too, Kurt." Blaine sighed, holding Kurt to his chest as tightly as he could. They sat for a few more minutes like that, just holding each other, until Blaine realised he was starting to get uncomfortable from kneeling. "Can I come and sit next to you, my knees hurt?" He chuckled as Kurt gripped him tighter.

"No." Kurt murmured, shaking his head as Blaine chuckled gently. "I'm scared if I let you go, I'll find out that this wasn't real." He mumbled into Blaine's shoulder.

"You have to let that fear go, Kurt." Blaine said, his words echoing back through their missed years. Kurt pulled himself away from Blaine but continued to hold tightly to his hand, wiping tears away with the other one. Blaine got to his feet and walked around the sofa, sitting down next to Kurt as close as he possibly could.

"What about Lucas?" Kurt asked, concerned.

"I explained everything to him before I left," Blaine bit his lip. "He was actually the one who told me to come and find you…" Kurt raised his eyebrows in surprise as Blaine started explaining what had happened when he'd walked out of the room. He told Kurt how he'd walked around the courthouse for a while, not really sure what to do with himself before deciding that the best thing was to go and talk to Lucas. "When you turned up like that, it kind of messed me up." Blaine nodded. "I'd managed to push you to the back of my mind and not seeing you helped that but, you were never really gone. Everything that I did, every decision I made was covered in _you. _Seeing you it just… it reminded me of that and it brought everything back to me. Lucas and I… we don't really keep anything from each other," Blaine explained, shrugging, "and I didn't feel like I could do anything without him knowing that you had been there. Plus I was confused, I didn't know what to do about you being there and I knew that I had to talk to him to clear my mind… To be honest, I expected it to get me back on track to wanting to marry him but I didn't expect his reaction."

Blaine continued to explain how he'd found Lucas and told him Kurt was there and what he'd said, how he'd asked Blaine to pick him. He remembered how Lucas had, oddly, rolled his eyes when Blaine had told him how he turned Kurt away, before stepping towards him and kissing him lightly on the forehead and hugging him tightly.

_"I love you so much, Blaine." Lucas said, calmly, pulling away to gaze into Blaine's eyes. "But I can't in good conscience marry you when I know that Kurt wants you… and I'm pretty certain you want him too judging by how upset you look right now."_

_"Lucas, don't be silly, you're amazing…" Blaine started, feeling the need to hide behind the vague compliments that, really he'd been hiding behind for years. Not that he didn't think that of Lucas, but they were a lot easier to say than telling him he loved him._

_"But I'm not Kurt…" Lucas interrupted as Blaine gulped._

_"I didn't come here to break up with you." Blaine responded, confused by Lucas' reaction and slightly annoyed that, that was now the second time someone had said that to him that day. Part of him hoped that this conversation would lead him to Kurt but another part hoped it wouldn't because he would have to let himself be vulnerable again and he hadn't allowed himself to be vulnerable for a few years now._

_"Well, then I'm breaking up with you," Lucas said in the kindest way he possibly could, taking the decision out of Blaine's hands. "No matter what he did, I'm fairly certain you love him more than you're hurt by him…" Lucas paused, searching Blaine's eyes and knowing that he was doing the right thing. "Please, please just...go… go after him… love him and be happy…" Lucas continued, caringly, caressing Blaine's cheek._

"He was sad…" Blaine said, remembering their conversation. "He… he really loved me but, he said he'd never stand in the way of us and had to let me go."

"He's a good guy…" Kurt smiled, with tears in his eyes.

"He's not you," Blaine repeated the words Kurt and Lucas had used earlier that day, pressing a kiss to the back of his hand and knowing just how right they had both been. Kurt smiled gently and leant in to kiss Blaine again, not believing that he could do that now. Whenever he wanted. He didn't have to worry about what Blaine thought or how afraid he was, he could just kiss Blaine again and again and it would still be fine. He'd still be there, loving him. As he pulled back from the kiss, he gazed at Blaine's face thinking about how much they've been through to get to this point. Kurt rested his head on his shoulder and was fairly certain that he'll never start believing that Blaine was his now, he'll never stop feeling lucky to be loved by him.

Blaine gazed back at Kurt, thinking back over everything too until he got to the beginning and he laughed.

"What's funny?" Kurt asked as he shifted to look up at Blaine who bit his lip slightly, wondering if he should tell Kurt. As soon as he thought it, he smiled at the realisation that he didn't need to worry about whether or not to tell Kurt anything anymore. He just could. The fear he'd been feeling all of those years started to melt away.

"I have to tell you something," he smiled.

"What?"

"Do you remember when we were in Dalton and you had to look after Pavarotti but he died?"

"Yeah…"

"And do you remember when I came in to talk to you about the duet for Regionals while you were decorating his casket?"

"Yeah…" Blaine smiled and chuckled one more time at the memory.

"I was going to kiss you."

"What?" Kurt shifted away from him slightly to look him in the eyes, an amused smile playing on his lips at Blaine's confession. Blaine laughed and looked down, clasping their hands together and rubbing his thumb gently over Kurt's knuckles.

"You'd moved me so much when you'd sung Blackbird and it was like a light switch had been turned on in my head. Something that meant I couldn't just be friends with you anymore so I had a whole speech prepared and I was going to kiss you but…"

"Wes," Kurt smiled, remembering the incident.

"Wes."

"I would've said yes, you know." Kurt gazed into Blaine's eyes knowingly.

"I know that now but, at the time you just looked so shocked and afraid that I felt like you were too precious for me to come along and spoil just because I wanted you to myself. Then you wanted to go back to McKinley so I chose to just be there as a friend and, then New York and, just… everything… life happened and fear happened and it's just crazy to think that if I'd just kissed you that day when I wanted to then maybe none of this would've happened…"

"Maybe not," Kurt said, gripping Blaine's hand tighter, "but at least we're here now…"

"I know," Blaine said sadly, "I just feel like we've wasted 15 years."

"Then let's not waste the next 15." Kurt smiled, leaned towards Blaine and kissed him deeply. Blaine chuckled as Kurt's lips pressed against his own and he wrapped his arms around Kurt's waist, pulling him closer towards him until he felt overwhelmed by all of the sensations he was feeling at once.

"That's it," Blaine said, pulling away from Kurt suddenly and grabbing his hand. "Come on…" He pulled him to his feet and started to pull him towards the coffee shop door.

"What are you doing?" Kurt laughed in surprise as Blaine dragged him outside. Blaine paused and spun back into Kurt, pressing himself up against him and bent down to whisper in his ear.

"We've got about 15 years' worth of sex to catch up on, Kurt, I think we should make a head start, don't you?" He grinned as Kurt collapsed into giggles and let himself be dragged away from the coffee shop. They walked hand in hand, making the decision to head to Kurt's apartment, through the sunny New York street.

"You know, you don't know we would've stayed together for that fifteen years…" Kurt said thoughtfully as they walked.

"Please, Kurt," Blaine said, as if it was a ridiculous thing to say, "I know." Kurt chuckled.

"How do you know?" Blaine stopped and stepped in front of Kurt, kissing him sweetly on the lips.

"Because, after everything we've been through, we've always managed to be together after it all. It's like there's some kind of invisible force drawing us together. I feel it, I know you feel it… there's no way we would ever have not been together, if we hadn't of been so stupid in school!" Kurt dropped his head to his chest and laughed. "What?" Blaine grinned.

"Nothing, it's just Rachel said something really similar to me just after I broke up with Alexander."

"She's a wise girl," Blaine smiled as he took Kurt's hand again.

As they continued walking, they chatted lightly about anything they could think of, partly about their lives over the past few years, but mostly about memories that they shared and the things that made them happy. It didn't take long for them to fall back into the familiar banter that they always had, making jokes and feeling like no time had passed since they'd seen each other last. As they walked, Kurt thought about the other times that they'd had a large expanse of time apart and realised how, more often than not, this was normal for them. To just slip back into being _them_ and enjoying each other's company.

As they got to Kurt and Rachel's apartment, they had lost any last remnants of their rigidity, their skin felt prickly and slightly sun-kissed from the walk and they both felt like they were buzzing. This all felt so ridiculously normal. Like they'd been a couple for years and had just gone for an afternoon stroll together, rather than feeling like they'd only just re-united for the first time in a while. Blaine considered whether this was a sign that he hadn't been completely happy with marrying Lucas. He knew he wouldn't have been unhappy but he realised that he was marrying Lucas more for comfort than anything else. He'd had so many years of anxiety over his love for Kurt that, it was nice to be stable for a while. The thoughts swam around his mind as he also realised how they'd been there for a while anyway, the same as the doubts he had about whether or not marrying for comfort was the wisest thing to do, or not. As all three of them had acknowledged, Lucas was fantastic but he wasn't Kurt and that was all Blaine needed to know at that moment because all he wanted, all he ever wanted, or needed, was Kurt. Perfect, stubborn, flawed Kurt. Just as Kurt needed Blaine, just as perfect and flawed as him.

Kurt headed to the kitchen to make them a drink while letting Blaine look around. Once he'd finished, he stepped into the front room to see Blaine, having taken off his suit jacket and rolled up the sleeves of his shirt, holding the discarded wedding invitation that Kurt had found earlier that day. Blaine glanced up at Kurt and smiled gently. "Why don't we just put this here?" He said, gently placing the invitation in a drawer and out of sight before taking the drink from Kurt and sitting down next to him on the couch.

They sat for a few minutes just drinking and watching each other. It felt almost dreamlike to them both that they could just sit like this now, forever. They didn't have to hide their loving looks anymore, worrying if the other one had caught them looking, they could just stare at each other and it was like a gift. Although Kurt still blushed gently when he saw Blaine's eyes trailing down his body, soaking in every inch of his frame. Blaine noticed and, smiling, he placed his drink on the coffee table, before reaching over to Kurt and taking his drink from him also to place it down. Kurt watched him as he moved his glass away and started to lean towards him. He gulped as Blaine slowly moved his hand to cup his face, guiding him towards him and kissed him gently.

Blaine pulled away for a second and gazed into Kurt's eyes, almost feeling the need to check that it was ok before, seeing Kurt smile slightly, grinning and leaning back in, not wanting to wait any longer. He felt like he'd already waited three years for this, or even fifteen years, and he wasn't prepared to wait a single second more. He gently licked along the seam of Kurt's lips, encouraging them open before starting to explore the inside of his mouth with his tongue. Kurt sighed at the feel of Blaine's lips against his own and let himself be pushed back into the couch as Blaine shifted his body and moved Kurt's legs so that he could rest in between them. He felt himself growing hard and purposefully pressed his sudden erection, teasingly, into Kurt's groin and felt a rush when he realised that Kurt was hard against him too. Smiling against Kurt's skin, he moved and started to press small, sweet kisses along his jawline and to his neck, placing his hands gently on Kurt's hips before moving back up to, teasingly, brush his lips against Kurt's, grinning when Kurt impatiently leant forwards to kiss him properly. Kurt ran his hands up Blaine's torso, feeling the ridges of his abdomen through his shirt as he did and started to undo the buttons of Blaine's shirt. He made quick work of them and it wasn't long until his shirt fell open, allowing Kurt to run his fingertips lightly along Blaine's chest, just relishing the feeling of Blaine's warm skin as Kurt heard him hum gently into his mouth.

"Blaine…" A female voice drifted out from the doorway and they both sat up quickly to see Rachel standing and staring at them. She grinned at them as they grinned bashfully back. She watched as Kurt, instinctively, and also too late, held Blaine's shirt shut for him so she didn't see his chest. She giggled before turning to Blaine. "You found him then?" She asked him, who just nodded. Rachel sighed wistfully. "That's so romantic…" She started before Kurt cut her off.

"Rachel," He said warningly, "a little privacy, maybe?" Her eyes widened in realisation.

"Oh God, of course, sorry… right…" she babbled before turning around and starting to walk away. Blaine turned back to Kurt and grinned, leaning in to kiss him again before Rachel poked her head back around the doorway. "Please don't have sex on my couch, it's designer…" she said before Kurt shot her one of his famous bitch looks and threw a cushion at her, causing her to squeal and rush out of the apartment quickly before he would have any chance of yelling at her. Blaine laughed and dropped his head onto Kurt's shoulder as Rachel left. As soon as he heard the door click shut, Blaine moved to kiss along Kurt's shoulder gently, starting to undo the buttons of his shirt.

"Where's your bedroom?" He mumbled as he felt Kurt's head tip to give him better access to his neck.

"Ignore her, we're fine here." Kurt said, completely lost in the feeling of Blaine's lips on his skin and not wanting to move at all. Blaine sat up.

"She helped me come and find you, Kurt, we can't actually have sex on her couch!" Blaine said, a small smile playing on his lips. Kurt couldn't help but to lean towards him and suck his bottom lip gently into his mouth, smiling at the low groan that fell from his lips. "Kurt…" Blaine moaned, finding it really difficult to keep focussed, "…bedroom…" Kurt smiled again and pulled away, rolling his eyes.

"Fine," Kurt said as he got to his feet, grabbing Blaine's hand and pulling him up with him. He started to walk towards the bedroom but found himself to be held back after a few seconds as Blaine had wrapped his arms around Kurt's waist and was trying to walk and kiss his shoulder at the same time, pressing his chest tightly against Kurt's back. "Blaine," Kurt chuckled as he tried to keep walking but finding it nearly impossible with a grown man clinging to his back, "we'll never make it to the bedroom at this rate…"

"Don't want to let you go," Blaine mumbled into his shoulder before gripping Kurt's waist tighter. Kurt wriggled free and turned to face him.

"You have to let me go, Blaine," he said as he started to step backwards towards his bedroom, "otherwise I wouldn't be able to do this…" he smirked as he started to unbutton his shirt and watched Blaine as his eyes began to almost plead with want, staring as Kurt shrugged the shirt off of his shoulders and let it fall to the floor before starting to work on his belt buckle. "Do you want me to stop doing this?" He asked sultrily as he moved further back. Blaine shook his head, letting his mouth hang open slightly as he followed Kurt obediently into his room.

Blaine shut the door behind them, not taking his eyes off of Kurt as he let his pants drop to the ground before stepping out of them. He walked steadily over to him, smiling gently, before immediately placing his hand into the back of Kurt's underwear and squeezing his ass gently as he, growling softly, pulled Kurt towards him, placing a small kiss on his lips and then another, and then another. Kurt pushed Blaine's shirt from his shoulders, laughing as he had to force his hands out of his underpants so that he could remove it completely before starting to work on Blaine's belt buckle.

"Say it again," Kurt mumbled as he nipped lightly at Blaine's shoulder.

"Say what?" Blaine whispered. Kurt pulled back and gazed into his eyes longingly.

"Tell me you love me…" Blaine smiled gently. He understood that feeling of wanting to hear it said again and again, basking in how wonderful it was that they were able to say it to each other now. He leaned towards Kurt and kissed him.

"I love you," he whispered into his mouth and felt Kurt smile against him, pushing him back towards the bed. "I love you," he repeated as his pants and underpants were removed and he was pushed onto the bed. "I love you, Kurt." He whispered one more time as Kurt straddled him, resting, teasingly, on his groin and grinning euphorically.

"I love _you_." He smiled, tracing patterns along his chest, absent-mindedly. "I don't think I'm ever going to get tired of saying that." He said as he dipped his head down to run his tongue lightly down the centre of Blaine's chest.

"Mmm, me either," Blaine responded, leaning his head back and shifting slightly to get more comfortable as he felt Kurt shuffle his body further down the bed, his hot breath trailing across Blaine's stomach. Kurt paused for a second and Blaine felt him lean across his body before hearing the sound of a drawer being pulled open and then shut. "Shall I take that?" Blaine asked, gesturing to the lube in Kurt's hand.

"No." Blaine raised his eyebrows questioningly. "You'll see…" Kurt grinned wickedly before shifting his body fully off of the bed and dropping to his knees, in between Blaine's thighs. He took a moment to just look at Blaine's face as he'd rested himself up on his elbows and was watching Kurt curiously. He didn't break eye contact as he slowly leant forwards and ran the tip of his tongue all the way up Blaine's shaft. "Kurt…" Blaine groaned slightly and let himself fall back onto the bed as Kurt laughed gently at Blaine's reaction.

Kurt quickly removed his own underpants, pulling off both his and Blaine's socks as he did, before running his tongue along Blaine's cock once more, circling the head with his tongue and tasting the pre-come before sinking his mouth down. Blaine whimpered slightly at the feel of Kurt's hot mouth around his cock. He tried desperately not to buck his hips up into Kurt as he felt his tongue tracing patterns all around his cock, sucking hard at the same time. He glanced down, almost not believing that it was happening and felt his heart race as Kurt glanced back up at him, his pink lips looking so beautiful wrapped around him. He tipped his head back and groaned again, knowing that he'd come too soon if he kept watching what Kurt was doing. He was certain that he'd heard the familiar click of a bottle at one point but hadn't felt anything change so assumed it was his imagination.

He felt Kurt pull back and flick his tongue along Blaine's slit before sinking back down again, his mouth moving faster and faster as Blaine gradually got more worked up. Kurt hummed quietly, sending shivers up Blaine's spine and his body started to tremble slightly as his heart raced at the feeling of Kurt's tongue on his cock. Kurt, noticing how far gone Blaine was getting, pulled away, causing Blaine to whimper from the lack of contact. Grinning, Kurt stood up and straddled Blaine once more, starting to line himself up with Blaine's cock. Blaine's eyes widened in panic and he placed his hand on Kurt's chest.

"No, you're not ready!" He said, trying to stop Kurt from sinking down onto him. Kurt giggled and leant over him, licking his tongue up Blaine's neck to his ear and sucking on the lobe gently.

"Yes, I am." He whispered sultrily into his ear before moving Blaine's hand towards his hole to prove it to him. Blaine groaned loudly when he realised that Kurt had been prepping himself while working on Blaine's cock.

"Fuck, you're so sexy…" he moaned, leaning up to kiss Kurt roughly before letting Kurt guide him back onto the bed as he started to line himself up again and sink slowly onto Blaine's cock. They gasped simultaneously at the bolt of electricity that seemed to shoot through their bodies directly to their hearts. Kurt leant down, draping himself over Blaine's body and grazing his teeth along Blaine's shoulder as he lifted his hips and dropped them back down heavily. Blaine let a loud groan fall from his lips as Kurt repeated the action, already starting to feel lightheaded at the feeling of Kurt's tight warmth surrounding him.

Kurt grasped at Blaine's hands, pulling them up beside his head and twining their fingers together as he pressed their foreheads together and moved his hips up and down a few more times, gradually increasing his speed.

"Ungh… feels so good, Kurt…" Blaine moaned as he shut his eyes, pushing his head further back into the mattress as Kurt sat back up to start moving even faster. He wanted so badly to touch Kurt and make him feel this good too but was drowning so much in the trembling sensations that it was giving him that he was unable to move, feeling lightheaded as he heard himself groan loudly as Kurt continued to increase in speed, breathlessly whimpering as he moved.

Feeling Blaine start to tremble beneath him, Kurt sat up and moved Blaine's hand to wrap it around his cock, encouraging him to start jerking him off. Blaine slowly opened his eyes and started to come back into focus as he pumped his hand faster, running his eyes all over Kurt's body as he moved up and down on top of him. Almost out of nowhere, he felt his body start to shudder and tense uncontrollably. He gripped Kurt's cock tightly as he came strongly inside of him, feeling himself almost start to blackout with the power of it. Kurt kept moving, gripping Blaine's thighs to steady himself as Blaine cried out, bunching the sheets between his free hand.

After a few seconds, his body started to relax and he was just about able to breathily murmur "keep going," to Kurt who continued his steady rhythm on top of Blaine as he was able to start pumping Kurt's cock with a bit more power now that his orgasm had started to buzz around his body. It wasn't long until Blaine felt Kurt tighten around him and heard him cry out too as Kurt came over their stomachs, bruising Blaine's thighs with an increasingly tightened grip as he rode out his orgasm, before falling forwards onto Blaine and gulping to try and catch his breath.

Blaine hurried to grasp Kurt's face, pulling their lips together passionately and kissing him repeatedly as he mumbled more I love you's. As they kissed hurriedly in the haze of their orgasms they felt transported. It was almost like none of the drama had happened and they were 17 again, just starting to fall in love. Everything they had, had to work through disappeared along with the tension they'd been carrying on their shoulders for 15 years. Now and always, they were free to just be them without any worry.


	30. Epilogue: 24th June 2029

**I'm re-uploading this chapter because I've heard that this website is taking down a lot of stories that break their rules and I'm almost expecting that to happen to me. As such, I want to make sure everyone who follows me/my fics knows that I have a livejournal. My username is xstarsaboveyoux - please bookmark me there as well as here so that you don't miss any updates, in case these do get deleted - thanks.**

* * *

><p>24th June 2029<p>

"Are you ready?" Kurt said caringly, adjusting Blaine's bowtie.

"As I'll ever be," Blaine smiled up at him. "I still don't see why we have to stay for the party, though." Kurt laughed gently, running his fingers through Blaine's curls.

"It's important… and traditional," Kurt said, "plus most of our friends and family are in there," he gestured towards the door, "they all had to put up with our stupidity for fifteen years, don't you think they all deserve to celebrate both of us finally wising up?" Blaine laughed and stepped towards Kurt, resting his head on his shoulder and wrapping his arms around Kurt's waist.

"But it means I have to share you with all those people for the night and I just want you to myself." He whined slightly. "You know, we could just run away…" He said lasciviously, tipping his head slightly to kiss Kurt's neck, who hummed quietly. "We could go back to Bali, to that place with the private beach, do you remember?" He said, peppering kisses all the way up Kurt's neck, gripping his hips gently.

"Of course I remember, Blaine, it was only a year ago." Kurt laughed, rolling his eyes as Blaine pulled him closer and started nibbling his ear.

"Yeah? Remember how we spent most evenings just fucking on the beach?" He whispered sultrily as he licked into Kurt's ear, "Under the stars with the waves crashing around us?" Kurt closed his eyes and hummed in agreement, his breath shuddering from Blaine's touch, focussing on the tongue that was running across his skin, teasing him. "We could recreate that, instead of this, Kurt… we can go to the hotel right now…"

"Blaine…" Kurt smiled, coming back down to earth and pulling away from him. "What's gotten into you tonight?"

"It's our first night as a married couple, Kurt." Blaine smiled as he ran his thumb along the silver band around Kurt's ring finger. "I just want to spend it with you, not with a million other people…" He leant forwards to try and kiss Kurt again.

"Blaine," Kurt said, clasping his face to stop him in his tracks and gazing into his eyes, making his heart race. "I have worked very hard on this and everyone just wants to celebrate with us. I promise that tonight, after the party, we will have lots of newlywed sex but, right now, we have to do this." Blaine pouted slightly and sighed.

"Fine, you're right, I guess." Blaine said a little bit sulkily as Kurt laughed and took his hand, starting to walk off. "Wait, wait!" Blaine said, laughing and tugging him back and into an alcove in the foyer of the hotel. "I want to give you your wedding gift before we go in."

"Blaine," Kurt smiled gently, "I have you, what more could I need?" He leant forwards and kissed him on the cheek as Blaine reached into his jacket pocket.

"Wow, I see my cheesiness is catching," he winked as Kurt slapped him playfully on the arm. He pulled out a thick envelope from inside his jacket. "Anyway, I think you should open this before you say anything about only needing me." He said, smiling gently as he passed the envelope to Kurt who narrowed his eyes in amused wariness. He turned the heavy envelope in his hands, his fingers starting to nimbly work on opening it as Blaine leaned towards him and started placing small kisses along his neck, moving his hand to squeeze Kurt's ass gently.

"Blaine!" He laughed, "I'm not going to be able to concentrate on this if you keep doing that." Blaine pulled away from him and rolled his eyes.

"Sorry, sorry," he said blushing. "It's your fault really for being so damn irresistible." Kurt laughed gently as he finally managed to get the envelope open and ran his eyes over the documents that were inside.

"Adoption forms?" He said, tipping his head to one side and glancing at Blaine.

"Yeah," Blaine said, biting his lip as he started to play with the buttons on Kurt's suit nervously, avoiding eye contact with him. "I thought that maybe once we've come back from our honeymoon we could maybe redecorate that spare room and have a look at sending these off… What do you think?" He glanced up at Kurt in question. Kurt sighed out a laugh. This was certainly something they'd spoken a lot about over the past year or so but Blaine had always been slightly more resistant than Kurt, stating various different things, money, time, career, as reasons why they should wait just a little while longer.

"I thought you wanted it to be just us for a while?" Kurt said, laughing in disbelief.

"Kurt, I love you and I know this is something you really want and I've run out of reasons for not wanting it too." He moved his hand to cup Kurt's face, "You would make the most amazing father and I get excited just thinking about us being a family. I… I think we're ready, Kurt." He leant forwards and placed a small kiss on Kurt's still stunned lips. "Is that ok?" He asked before Kurt rushed towards him and hugged him tightly.

"Yes! Of course it is!" He said, grinning and kissing Blaine's cheeks repeatedly.

"Besides," Blaine said, laughing as Kurt continued placing small kisses over his face, "these things take time, I'll probably still have you to myself for a little while yet…" he was cut off by Kurt finding his mouth and pulling Blaine towards him to kiss him deeply. He wrapped his arms around Blaine's shoulders to pull him in tighter and started to encourage his mouth open with his tongue, exploring it and massaging his tongue against Blaine's.

"Kurt…" Blaine whined as Kurt started to messily kiss along his jaw and his pants started feeling tighter than they were a few minutes prior as he felt the slight graze of Kurt's hand across his crotch. "… The reception…"

"Screw 'em," Kurt mumbled against Blaine's neck. "I've got the best husband in the world and they're not getting a second of him." Blaine chuckled throatily and, resisting all of his natural urges, pulled away slowly from Kurt.

"As much as I want to do _this_ right now, and, _believe me_, I do," he sighed, resting his head on Kurt's forehead, "you were right when you said we had to go in there." He said, glancing over towards the door where all of their guests sat on the other side. Kurt turned his head to look too, keeping their foreheads pressed together.

"Yeah…" he said thoughtfully, "I am usually right…" Blaine snorted a laugh and stepped away from Kurt, out into the foyer, straightening his jacket.

"You've remembered your speech, right?" Kurt asked, knowing how forgetful his husband had been in the lead up to the wedding.

"Yup," Blaine nodded, pulling out a few small cards from his jacket pocket and waving them in front of Kurt's face. "Can I ask, though… do you think it's too awkward for me to be thanking Lucas in the speech? I mean, he kind of is a big reason we're together but, considering our history… is it weird?" Blaine asked, biting his lip nervously.

"No, I don't think so," Kurt shook his head. "Besides, I imagine his husband's pretty thankful for it too…" He laughed as Blaine shrugged in agreement and put the cards back in his pocket before going back to fussing over his suit.

"Ok, now, seriously… how do I look?" He said, doing a small spin for Kurt's evaluation.

"You look very handsome," Kurt smiled, stepping towards Blaine to straighten his bowtie one more time, "Mr Anderson-Hummel…" He pursed his lips, trying not to giggle as he teasingly raised an eyebrow.

"Seriously, Kurt, the cheese is astounding tonight…" Blaine smiled, "…Mr Anderson-Hummel…" He repeated and laughed giddily, wrinkling his nose slightly as Kurt laughed along with him. "So I look ok then, not too dishevelled?"

"No, you look great," Kurt rolled his eyes and smiled again, not entirely disliking the amount of times he was able to look Blaine's body up and down as he evaluated him.

"Ok, good. Then we can go." Blaine said, grinning and grasping Kurt's hand in his own as they moved through the hotel foyer and towards the grand hall. They glanced at each other, smiling and taking large, uneasy breath's, gripping their hands tighter before pushing the door open and, to the sounds of riotous cheers and applause from their friends and family, starting the rest of their lives together.

* * *

><p><strong>That's everything :) Thanks to everyone who's read, enjoyed and reviewed. I've got ideas for my next fic and will post a link here once the first chapter's up.<strong>


End file.
